This Thursday evening, my son's school organized a lecture on the theme of "What kind of world to bring to children", and the speaker was Yu Hui, director of the Ningbo Municipal Education Bureau (called Yu Dad in the article, because his child is also in the sixth grade at school)!I thought the content of the lecture would be boring and boring, but it turned out that I was shallow, and the experts deserved to be experts, and I gained a lot from what I shared!
In terms of children's education, our family has always advocated the release of children's freedom and nature, so that until the first grade, we have not attended any kindergarten bridging, academic training classes, cram schools, etc., and the parent-child relationship at home is also very good. My child's mother and I are working in the top 500 companies, on education, on the background can only be said to be mediocre, although we believe that education and reading can determine the lower limit of people, but in the future society, especially in enterprises, ability and cognition is more important.
However, after entering the first grade, because we had no foundation, we felt that our usual homework and practice were difficult, and there was a gap between us and our classmates who had studied in advance, so we were anxious about every homework session. Although we insist on not rolling, it seems that we can't accept lying down completely, and at the same time we can't put pressure on the child, even if I believe that the child will naturally deal with this problem in the future, but I really don't know what to do better at the moment.
Compared with investing and trading, parenting during this period is more difficult and confusing for me.
And this lecture opened up a new world for me. That is, between rolling and lying flat, between the future and reality, there is a middle ground of perfect balance.
Follow the books and travel!
Yu's father's children did not do any advanced education back then, so they experienced the same anxious stage as me. His later solution was to create a practical scenario for education, and use the experience of "unity of knowledge and action" to help children with curves.
He gave an example, during the winter and summer vacations, they bought all the textbooks for the next semester in advance, then read the contents, and then arranged family activities for the texts. For example, there is a text called "Watching the Tide", so they go directly to the Qiantang River to see the tide, and the preparation stage is regarded as a topic, collecting information, finding out the reasons, arousing the children's curiosity, and then traveling on the spot, so as to achieve the unity of theory and practice. And the child's performance in this class is very outstanding in later studies. Interaction in this way not only helps academically, but also helps with the parent-child relationship.
This is definitely a model of family education, although I have taken my children to ride a bicycle around the lake, and also traveled back and forth to Hangzhou by public transportation, but it is more of an emotional and intuitive education, and there is no rational and logical framework to guide it.
In law, process justice is more important than outcome justice;In terms of investment, the process of executing the strategy is also more important than the final profit and loss result;And I believe that when it comes to parenting, if the whole family feels relaxed in the process, then we must be on the right path.
The classroom is the most effective place to educate!
Yu's father said that his child is currently about 10th in the class, and he is very proud, because slowly improving from the end to the front is a process for children to continuously enhance their self-confidence. On the other hand, those children who learn ahead of time from an early age are easy to fall behind in the 4-5 grades, because advanced education violates the laws of physiology, psychology and education, which will make children lose their interest and habits in classroom learning.
After all, the knowledge learned may not be important, but the ability to learn knowledge is extremely important. Therefore, learning should be taken seriously, and it is not right to lie down completely, because it is the basis of students' self-confidence and an important part of peer comparison.
After all, without achievements, you can't get through today, only achievements, you can't live tomorrow.
Look at extracurricular training rationally!
Yu's father believes that it is better to practice endurance and explosiveness than to practice running, everyone's genetics are different, and children cannot be measured in the same way and by the same standard. Extracurricular training should be more to supplement interests and strengths, and it is the direction that children choose and are interested in.
He himself is a national second-level athlete in table tennis, so the child began to practice table tennis at the age of 4, and until the fourth grade of primary school, he found that the child did not like it and felt that practicing was too boring. On the contrary, I was particularly interested in basketball, so I decisively stopped table tennis and started playing basketball, and now I am also playing very well and happily.
In a person's life, the short-term results are seen, the medium-term interests are seen, and the long-term pattern is seen. If you don't play enough when you are a child, you will not have enough innovation ability when you grow up, and whether you are a scientist or an excellent entrepreneur, most of the motivation for innovation comes from childhood dreams.
We must not only think about our children for a while, but also be responsible for our children for a lifetime.
Help your child discover himself!
Feng Youlan once said: "The purpose of studying philosophy is to make people become people, not to become some kind of people." "And only by becoming a better person can we have more choices to become a certain kind of person.
Everyone's life is trying to discover themselves, not so much in struggle, but in choosing, discovering their talents, and choosing their future. In the lower grades, the sequence of children's development and learning will bring about academic differences, but the difference in life lies in methods and persistence, so it is necessary to create self-confidence points for children, reach the peak by overcoming difficulties, and complete one thing, so that children will have the confidence to overcome all challenges in the future.
In addition, it is far more meaningful to create opportunities for children of different ages to play together, grow up in the group and find their own place than adults to play together. Because each child has his own unique value, there are no two leaves in the world that are exactly the same, and there is no individuality and commonality. In a group, whether it is a leader, a listener, or a clapping audience, it is a beautiful scenery.
Let your child know about himself, be caring, accept and respect himself and others, so that he can be confident and accept that other parts of himself are not as good as others.
At the same time, we must let our children do their part, be willing to let their loved ones suffer, believe that they can accomplish anything, even if it is not perfect, but also encourage them, after all, the future world is not what we can predict, and the future road will eventually have to go by itself.
Yu's father and daughter didn't finish her homework on time one night, and then she went to bed first, and the next morning she got up to write her homework, and it was too late to get to school, so he sent a message to the teacher and said that it was a very good way to let the teacher criticize her and let her suffer a little setback.
Let your child find a passion for sports as early as possible!
Perfect personality, first in sports, sports and sports accompany the evolution of the entire human history and civilization, we expect children to have excellent behavioral literacy and spiritual core can be found in sports, such as bravery, optimism, tenacity, order, teamwork, etc., the future elite must have a strong physique.
Yu's father said that although he usually works a lot of overtime, he will accompany his children to play ball every weekend and insist on exercising for more than 3 hours. This is a common hobby of their father and daughter, and such a habit can benefit for life. It's important for children to find out what sports they love as early as possible
After all, a happy life requires three kinds of strength: a comfortable body, a sound mind and a peaceful heart, and sports are very important ways, and the purpose of sports is not to win awards or rankings, it is an end in itself.
Focus on mental health!
I once saw a picture that said that children's mental health problems are more common at this stage, although there is a large extent due to the pressure from parents. But in fact, it is more caused by our current specific stage of social development, the strong changes brought about by the material, and the superposition of our specific national culture, resulting in children not being able to relax and be bold themselves.
The future era must be an era of more and more individualization and self-pursuit, and the post-00s and post-10s will inevitably transform this era, so it is important to pay attention to the mental health of children at a specific stage of growth.
I have seen someone asking "can you accept that your child is ordinary", and the person who can ask such a question can be said to be moaning without illness. How many parents who are eternally separated just want their children to live safely and healthily, even if they give their lives, it is already a luxury.
Be a better version of yourself!
We can't ignore our careers for the sake of our children, and we can't ignore our children because of our careers.
I remember when I was choosing a school for my child, I was very entangled in whether to go to an international school, but a senior told me that family education is the most important thing, as long as you do your best, your child will be fine. I believe in his words very much, so working hard, working happily, caring for my family, and loving life are the best and best models in themselves.
Although I usually read a lot of educational books, Yu's father shared with the cases close to him in a specific way, which really helped me a lot, and also gave me a newer perspective and more logical framework guidance.
Family**, school success, social success!Family education is important, but it is also important to carry out adult education together with the school, and the two are not contradictory and antagonistic, but can actually achieve a balance and unity.
Always appreciate and always understand, not only our children will eventually be ordinary, but we ourselves will be the same, but everyone's life can be wonderful.