Didn't I write an article "Why are most poor people's families not getting along?".A reader left me a message and wanted me to talk more about this topic.
This article is a paid article, and readers who are interested in reading it can link to the rest of the content.
If you agree with my point of view, be sure to "like, watch" or "favorite, ** so that more people can see this article, so that more people who have suffered from the pain of the original family can awaken their epiphany and get rid of the pain caused by the original family."
Your boss Brother Pi is a cheerful person, and he goes straight to dry goods. Next, please think slowly and feel it.
Think about it, why don't your parents understand you?
You may always feel that your parents don't understand you, but you don't know why, let me tell you, because your parents' generation didn't understand how special their life experience was, so special that it had almost no reference value for the lives of future generations.
In this world, there is no one like theirs who has a life experience before, and there should be no one in a hundred years.
The era spanned by the older generation is so great that their life experiences can hardly be applied to today's society, including the values that raised them.
Don't look at the older generation, there are only a few short decades, but their life experience is not enough to describe it with the word earth-shaking, it is simply reversed, reversed and reversed.
Their childhood was a small-scale peasant economy, and many families had flashlights for household appliances, and their youth was a planned economy, and even the cattle in the village were shared.
Their youth is a market economy, how many people drink soda for the first time, their middle age is economic globalization, and how many people hear about the WTO for the first time. So they always say, I have eaten more salt than you have ever eaten rice, but from their life experience, they will think that he has eaten more salt than you.
They have experienced 200 years of human economic development in a few decades, and can be called the salted fish with the highest salt content in human history. He must have summed up some experience, and those experiences must have helped him, but whether he can help you or not is up to you.
But this is not the most terrible, the terrible thing is that he defines your happiness with the happiness in his own concept, so I often hear the sentence I am all for your good.
His definition of happiness may be formed in his middle age, economic globalization, so he forces you to go abroad, and his definition of happiness may also be formed in his youth, the market economy changes greatly, so it forces you to buy a house.
But the current house is something you can't afford at all, and his definition of happiness may also be formed in the youth, and the planned economy seeks stability, so even if you are forced by the boss now, they will not let you quit.
His definition of happiness is more likely to be formed in the small-scale peasant economy of his childhood, all for production, so even if the cost of raising is high now, he will force you to have a son, a second child, a third child, because they really think that is happiness, so they force you to be so happy.
Leo Tolstoy once said that happy people are all alike, and unhappy people have their own misfortunes.
He forgot to add a premise, that is, in the same era, because the happiness of people in this era is not necessarily what people in another era want.
So if you want to get rid of the incomprehension and trouble caused by this original family, is there any effective way?
Yes!Let me give you one example!A fan paid me for a consultation before, mainly to solve the pain brought to her by her original family, she said that it was difficult for her to forgive her parents, she had spent more than 30 years in hatred and complaints, and asked me what should I do?
Did you know?The shadow cast by the family of origin on some of the victims is so far-reaching. Not only does she have to work hard to complete her studies, but she also has to work part-time, and whenever she earns some money, she will not hesitate to devote herself to psychological counseling, for the sake of her depression.
It was heartbreaking to hear her experience, and I can't imagine how people who grew up with the same experience as her faced their families of origin. "She told me that in this life, when she thinks of her family and the bad things about her parents, she feels uncomfortable, and she desperately wants to escape from her original family, and if she can, escape as far away as possible.
However, if you only criticize a problem or phenomenon but do not provide constructive suggestions, and only know how to point out the problem but do not provide a solution, then this is no different from just bragging and talking about it, and it is meaningless. "
In this era when the problems caused by the family of origin are flooded with the Internet, many counselors have prescribed similar "prescriptions", and they always say that reconciliation with the family of origin will be all right.
However, it is not easy to reconcile with the family of origin!
Each victim suffers different injuries from their family of origin, and we are not qualified to walk in other people's shoes, let alone solve the problem with a mere understatement of "reconciliation".
This is not only irresponsible for the issue, but also disrespectful to the victim.
Your brother and my countermeasures are very simple but the effect is immediate, here are three suggestions, if you recognize my value and interested readers can follow me and link me in the background ** The rest of the essence of the content.