After I retired, I stayed at home every day and had nothing to do.
The pension is not much, only 4,000 yuan per month.
Sometimes, I feel a little regretful in my heart that I didn't save well and plan for the future when I was younger.
But what I regret most is that I have lived with others.
That day, I couldn't help but call my son ** and began to complain: "Son, do you understand, life is really difficult now.
My pension was also reduced, and I had to live with others, and I really regretted that I didn't save more money at that time. ”
My son comforted me and said, "Dad, don't worry too much, we'll try to send more money back." ”
It was a sunny day, and I was sitting in a daze at the door of my house when I suddenly heard a voice: "Hello, uncle!"."I looked up and saw that it was the next-door neighbor.
Although I call him a lad, he is not too young, about forty or fifty years old.
He asked me very politely, "Uncle, are you free today?"Come and sit at our house. ”
I hesitated, and was going to excuse myself, but he seemed sincere, and I was too embarrassed to refuse, so I nodded and followed him to his house.
I chatted with him for a while and learned that his name is Chen Jianguo, a native of Sichuan, who has lived here for more than ten years.
We had a good chat, and Chen Jianguo saw that I was bored alone, so he often invited me to his house to sit down, and sometimes cooked me some Sichuan-style dishes.
With this neighbor by my side, my retirement seems to have become even brighter.
I started to rely on him a little because he was really helpful, often giving me some home-grown vegetables and sometimes helping me tidy up the garden.
However, I also gradually discovered some problems.
Some of his habits and ways of life have always been difficult for me to accept.
For example, the onions, garlic, and ginger in his house are always dried on the balcony, and people who pass by every day can see them.
I always felt that it was not hygienic.
There is also the Sichuan hot pot they often make, and every time you can smell the strong smell of garlic wafting from the whole building.
I tried not to say anything, after all, this is their way of life, and I can't talk too much.
However, these little things gradually accumulated in my heart.
Chen Jianguo invited me to eat hot pot again, and although I refused several times, he insisted on pulling me along.
That day, his hot pot was really too spicy, and I couldn't stand it, so I said a little impulsively: "Chen Jianguo, can you pay attention to the hygiene and environment of your cooking?"So many green onions and garlic are exposed outside every day, aren't they all wet when it rains?And this hot pot, it's so spicy that I can't stand it, can't you think about my taste?Obviously, he was a little angry and said: "Don't be too picky, this is our Sichuan habit, even if you don't understand, you can't always find fault with us." ”
As soon as he finished speaking, he stood up and dumped all the contents of the pot in front of me.
I somewhat regret that I had a falling out with a neighbor who was a relative stranger.
Although I still can't help but blame him, I actually regret it in my heart.
After that, we got a little rusty and he stopped inviting me to his house.
So, I lived a life of insignificant retirement on my own.
After a while, there seemed to be some changes in Chen Jianguo's family.
One day, I met his son in the community, and he anxiously told me that Chen Jianguo had a serious illness and that hospitalization** would cost a lot of medical expenses, and he wanted me to help.
Of course I'm willing to help, after all, we are neighbors and we should take care of each other.
I immediately went to the hospital to see him.
At the sight of him, he was pale and looked haggard.
His son told me that Chen Jianguo did not have medical insurance, and that the family's savings were used to buy a house for his son, and that the medical expenses were too high for them to afford.
I didn't think much about it, and quickly took out some of my pension to help him solve some medical bills.
Although we had some conflicts, I don't think we should worry too much about others when they need help.
It is my duty and responsibility to help him.
During Chen Jianguo's hospitalization, I visited him several times.
Watching him gradually, I gradually released my previous resentment in my heart.
However, shortly after Chen Jianguo was discharged from the hospital, he left me a note that read: "Dude, we will remember your help, but, from now on, it is best to keep some distance." ”
Looking at this sentence, I felt very heavy in my heart.
It turned out that he still had a grudge against me.
Although I understand that their family is currently in trouble and wish I would not disturb them, this sentence still makes me a little uncomfortable.
I'm a little annoyed and don't know how to reply.
I put the note aside, and my heart grew heavy.
Perhaps, this is the fate that makes us have some intersections, but in the end we have to live separately.
I calmly accepted this fact, but there were some mixed things in my heart.
Because, there are still some regretful partings between former neighbors.
Not long after, my two daughters called one after another, saying that they wanted to come to see me.
I was both happy and a little happy in my heart, it was not easy for children nowadays to know how to honor their parents, but my two daughters still remember to come to see me.
They said I wasn't taking care of myself, that I shouldn't have partnered with others, and that I had spent their hard work on others.
I felt aggrieved in my heart, I thought about it carefully, and what they said didn't seem to be unreasonable.
However, I feel wronged again, they are so busy with work, and they don't come back to see me often, and now they are accusing me again.
This incident made me fall into another inner struggle.
Just when I was feeling melancholy, Chen Jianguo suddenly came to me again and brought me a large bucket of my favorite Longjing tea.
He said: "Lao Wang, don't be angry with your daughters, they are for your good." ”
I am very grateful in my heart, and I feel that this Sichuan person does know how to care for me better than my daughter.
All of a sudden, I feel that the conflict between me and Chen Jianguo has become less important.
Perhaps because I was a little too excited, Chen Jianguo never came back and forth as often as before.
I also gradually became nervous, wondering if I was doing something wrong.
However, none of this made much of a difference and I was still living a peaceful retirement.
Just when I thought everything had subsided, one night, I received a **.
* My son on the other end, his voice was a little anxious: "Dad, I heard that you and Chen Jianguo have a conflict?."What's going on?You didn't get into a fight, did you?I quickly explained that telling my son that everything was a misunderstanding, that it was a disagreement, and that it was not a big deal.
However, my son's voice was still a little uneasy: "Dad, this is not a trivial matter, and it is not good to have conflicts with neighbors."
Besides, you're alone over there now, and there's no one to take care of something. ”
I wanted to dispel his concerns and tell him that it was just a minor contradiction and that there was no need to worry.
However, my son said in a nervous tone that I had never seen before, "Dad, I'm sorry for you, I should ......have said it a long time ago."I didn't know why, so I asked, "What's wrong with you?"Is there anything else I don't know?The son said hesitantly, "Well, Dad, I should have told you before you retired, but I never had the courage to ......."He paused, then added, "Actually, I worked late overtime, so I didn't have time to go home."
I'm also a little bit financially stressed......Dad, I'm actually married and have a child......I tried my best to keep calm, but the ** in my hand almost slipped from the palm of my hand: "Why are you ......."Why don't you tell me?Didn't you say you wouldn't go home for work?"I felt my whole body tremble, and the remorse and anger in my heart could not be suppressed.
The son's voice also became a little trembling: "Dad, I know I shouldn't be like this.
But when did you retire, and I couldn't go back, my wife, she ......She is from Sichuan, and my mother ......These words seemed to hit me hard, and my whole being fell into deep remorse and anger.
At this time, Chen Jianguo's face and those contradictory pictures kept coming to mind.
I just felt betrayed, and I had always regarded my home as so important, but there was such a big change in my family, and I didn't even realize it.
After my son hung up the **, my whole person fell into silence.
I felt extremely sad and lost, and my heart was filled with dissatisfaction and regret for this family.
I lived a gloomy and sad day, and I felt more and more lonely.
After the argument with Chen Jianguo, he never spoke to me again, and even those Sichuan-specific snacks were never delivered again.
I'm too embarrassed to go to his house again, and I always find it a little hard to talk about.
Loneliness made my mood dull, as if a stone was pressing down on my chest.
This sentiment also caused problems for my son.
He has been persuading me to move to his place recently, saying that the environment is good and the air is fresh.
But I always felt that I was getting older and didn't want to cause trouble for my children.
However, the child repeatedly persuaded: "Dad, you live alone and feel lonely, come and live in our house, and my daughter-in-law and I can also take care of you." ”
I thought about my son's words for a long time, and finally rejected his kindness.
They didn't talk about it anymore, but I knew my refusal was uncomfortable for them.
In recent days, I have felt even more guilty.
Why am I always so hard to deal with?I began to recall in my heart the quarrel with Chen Jianguo.
Maybe I'm being too him.
Coupled with my son's affairs, I feel guilty and guilty.
Maybe I'm wrong, but how do I turn it all around?Once again, my heart was in a state of conflict.