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Tao Yong, an ordinary father, fell into a storm because of a Weibo, which attracted widespread attention from social **. I thought it was just a celebration for my daughter's birthday, but this seemingly ordinary move quickly triggered a reversal at night.
The helplessness of the birthday star
On Weibo, Tao Yong shared the celebration of his daughter's 12th birthday. However, from her daughter's point of view, she doesn't seem to be able to feel the happiness she expected. First of all, the daughter was criticized for not cooperating with the photo shoot on her birthday, and was described as "having a personality" or "stinky temper";Then, under the arrangement of her father, the daughter obediently served rice, rolled roast duck, and served vegetables for the elders, and a series of housework activities made the birthday star have no time to enjoy her birthday.
Reflections on education
Tao Yong explained that his daughter was at the "fork in the road of becoming a witch and a lady", saying that he did not dare to slack off. However, the comment section exploded because of this, accusing him of letting her go through a full day of obedience training on his daughter's birthday. This triggered a large number of viewers to reflect, thinking that it is understandable to train children to do housework, but on her birthday, it is quite inappropriate to let her daughter become a tool to show off her father's ability to teach his son.
Senior sister's response
Tao Yong's younger sister also expressed her opinion on Weibo. She pointed out that Tao Yong and his family lived far away from each other, and it was rare to get together. The father originally wanted to use his daughter's birthday to show his daughter's sensibility and caringness in front of relatives and friends, but it caused negative reactions. The younger sister revealed in the comment area that Tao Yong's daughter is about to study in high school, perhaps Tao Yong wants to cultivate her daughter's ability to live independently in advance.
Tao Yong's response and reflection
In the face of the turmoil, Tao Yong finally responded, saying that he wanted his daughter to realize that she was a year older at the birthday party and learned to take on more responsibility. He admitted that in the process, he ignored his daughter's feelings as a birthday boy, and apologized for the inappropriate use of words and the way of education. The response brought some goodwill, but it also raised more questions about his previous behavior.
The privilege of paternity
This incident has provoked deep reflection on parental privilege and children's education. Tao Yong, who was originally believed to be able to break free from stereotypes in his children's education based on his experience and qualifications, found it difficult for him to realize that he was exercising privilege in the father-daughter relationship. Many parents naturally believe that they have the right to control their children's lives, and their children are deeply trapped in the identity of children, and it is difficult to get out of the standard of obedience and sensibility.
"Special" love in the family
Such "privileges" are not unique to other families. Similar stories emerge endlessly, and the love of parents wraps around their children in an invisible way that they cannot get rid of. For example, Yu Yang's mother in "Minglong Boy" did not hesitate to put down her work in order to care for her son, and even bathed him in the school staff dormitory. However, this excessive "competence" made Yu Yang feel suffocated, he could not make decisions for himself, and was overwhelmed by his parents' expectations and love.
Compare the damage with forgetting
Similar episodes are common in other families. In order to let his daughter focus on her studies, some fathers ruined her dream of writing 56 books;For the sake of comparison, some parents ignore their sons' hard work in starting a business, and only see that other people's children have a higher monthly income. This comparison and forgetfulness hurts the child deeply and becomes a form of emotional blackmail.
The contradiction between support and forgetting
Sometimes, parental support can also be a contradiction. Like Tang Xiangmo's mother, although she gave financial support when starting a business, she questioned her son's ability and efforts, which brought him more pressure. The mother's habitual comparison and forgetfulness made Tang Xiangmo feel incomprehensible, and the mother-son relationship was estranged.
In the face of fate, the choice of children
Ultimately, these stories reflect a common phenomenon in which parents tend to treat their children as their own and believe that they have the right to control their children's lives. And children are deeply trapped in the identity of children, and it is difficult to get out. However, in the first half of life, you may get lost due to various factors, but the driver of life is yourself, and you need to drive to the destination you want to go with your own ability. As said in the Korean drama "Can You Be a Stranger": "Parents are the ones who sit in the co-pilot, and the driver of your life is yourself."
Conclusion
These parents' stories reveal a pervasive paternal trap in which parents unconsciously add restraint and oppression while caring for their children. This privilege and expectation makes it difficult for children to breathe and make decisions for themselves. In family affection, there may be a need for more understanding and respect, so that everyone can freely drive their own life vehicle to the destination they want to reach.
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