1 classmate's father is a taxi driver, and two men stretched out their hands to stop the car that day: How much does it cost to go to so-and-so place?It's about 10 bucks. The two of them 15 don't go to ?......Go!Go!
2. My son participated in a photo contest at school, entitled "Busy Mom". In order for my son to win the photography award, I specially invited my buddies in the photo studio to help guide, and by the way, I designed a look for my wife and took several photos. In my son's class group today, everyone has posted **, those mothers are all wearing makeup, all of them are beautiful, some are wearing diamond rings to wipe the table, and some are wearing mink stir-fry ......Only an unkempt yellow-faced woman was mopping the floor in a torn cotton jacket. I felt murderous through the screen, and I didn't dare to go home for two days.
3The daughter-in-law had just given birth to a son, and the father-in-law had to go into the delivery room to see his grandson.
* Dissuasion:"Maternity now needs to rest. Besides, if you look at it, it's a grandson, and if you don't look at it, it's a grandson, anyway.
Father-in-law:"……"
4 In the dining room, the girl at the next table sighed: "I understand, men have nothing else, honesty is the most important." In my life, I hope to find an honest man to marry. Her companion said, "It would be nice if you could think so, so which honest man do you have a crush on?"The girl said excitedly: "Wu Yanzu looks very honest!."”
5 My dog is nine years old, usually walk the dog never leave my sight, very brave, super confident, and the Tibetan mastiff in the yard are struggling to bite the fight (from the end of the other dogs to bite) in short, never suffered, a few days ago to buy it a small toy, actually scared to death, but also scared to pee. After staring at the toy dog for several days and nights, it didn't dare to touch anyone, and it didn't dare to touch it. Today I finally seem to know that it is a fake dog, and I don't care about it.
6 A foreign teacher in my university is a Chinese expert, a Chinese thief 6, his wife is Chinese, an English teacher, an English thief 6, the result is that they are talking and talking and mixed, he and her wife speak Chinese, his wife and he speak English, leaving us all staring at each other, I don't know who is the foreigner.
7 has been dating her boyfriend for half a year and has been renting a house outside. Yesterday I went to my boyfriend's house for the first time, and his parents didn't agree with my boyfriend dating me when they saw it.
I thought that my figure and face were still outstanding, so I couldn't get angry and asked, "Auntie, why?"What's wrong with me!My boyfriend's mother pointed to my boyfriend and said, "Look at how thin he has become!".Obviously lacking energy, walking is fluttering.
8 cousin stall, the eldest nephew who goes to kindergarten, has a new little girlfriend, the parents came to the door, pointed at the cousin, how did you educate your son, deceived my girl to be his wife, took advantage of no one in my house, ran to my house and said to cook for my girl, made the house not decent, ate and drank at home, and when I left, I took away a bottle of China that I wanted to give a gift, and Moutai took a bottle, saying that it was for his father to taste, okay!Your son is filial enough!Why is your son a bandit?
9 Huobao: "Fat woman, do you know why I marry you?"”
You're finally going to reveal the mystery?”
You're chubby and have a good physique. ”
What's wrong with that?”
I'm thinking, if we can't get along, go back and be a farmer or something, you can still be a cow envoy. ”
10 The son came home tremblingly: "Dad, I only scored 60 points in the exam today. ”
Dad was very angry: "Next time I take the exam, don't call me Dad!."”
The next day my son came back: "I'm sorry, brother!."”
11 standards to be a qualified daughter-in-law.
First, we must learn to shirk responsibility. When you make a mistake, you must learn to put the responsibility on your husband, so that if you make a mistake, your husband will have to apologize.
Second, practice the skin of the mouth. It is inevitable to quarrel with your mother-in-law after getting married, and only when your ability to quarrel has improved can you not lose to your mother-in-law. You know, this is how your mother-in-law defeated her mother-in-law.
Third, learn to tolerate the dirty and messy environment. After getting married, you must not work, let your husband do it, let your mother-in-law do it, start with cleaning, your husband and mother-in-law can't stand the mess at home, they will do it!
12During the cold war with my girlfriend, I played games in the study.
My girlfriend called me at the door, "Would you like to have dinner in the evening?"I'll apologize for making you angry!”
As a generous good boyfriend and a competent foodie, I readily agree.
As he walked to the door, he asked, "What can I eat?"”
At this time, his girlfriend suddenly roared: "Closed door" snapped, and the door was closed.