In the long and challenging journey of parenting, I have deeply realized that the subtle influence of a concept on a child's growth has a profound impact. From the perspective of my son's upbringing, I believe that a high degree of self-discipline is the key to cultivating absolute freedom in children.
Fans who have followed me for so many years know that I have been recording my son's educational growth history, from elementary school all the way to the current seventh grade.
It is worth mentioning that everyone remembers one of the distinctive characteristics of my son - he is extremely self-disciplined, and this advantage has been cultivated and instilled since childhood.
As parents, we cannot apply traditional critical and dogmatic methods of education. The first task is to get to know the child as much as possible, and only by understanding the child's situation deeply can we set goals with him.
For example, in primary school, we can set a small goal of practicing 30 words a day, and after completing the homework, let the child spend the rest of the time freely, without too much interference from any parents.
When I think back to my son's elementary school days, this is how I did it.
First of all, to stimulate his goals, the emphasis is to guide him to produce plans and goals on his own. Then, together we developed a schedule of goals. As long as you complete the small goals of each day, there are rewards for praise and persistence. By accomplishing small goals day by day, he gradually established a self-disciplined mindset.
After completing the small goals, I encouraged him to show self-discipline and self-worth, which naturally evolved into weekly goals, monthly goals, and then the overall plan for the year.
Parents should not be nagging in this process, but should be guides and partners.
It is not a powerful posture, but a good job of guidance and assistance.
In this way, the child's self-discipline will not stop at completing the task.
If the child fails to reach the goal, do not rush to blame and blame, but understand the reasons behind it.
My son once gave up his schedule at one point when he was a kid because he wanted to play games.
I asked him to stop his homework, play games with him all night, and go to the game hall on weekends to have a good time.
However, before the homework was finished, the teacher called the name, and I asked him, which of the two is more enjoyable?He admits that although it is cool to play games, it is even more unpleasant not to complete his homework.
So, I told him, that's why we have to plan the goals that we have to accomplish and spend a reasonable amount of time playing the game, isn't it better to have both?
It is important that once the child has reached the goal, he or she does not add tasks every day. Parenting knowledge sharing
Let children understand that goals have an end, not an infinite extension.
Self-discipline needs to be staged, with the main focus on developing study habits and self-discipline to complete homework when you are young, and constantly adjusting as you age and situation. In this way, children can really understand that after self-discipline becomes a habit, they can have more choices in front of their parents.
Once, I shared on Weibo my son's goal list for each grade, and I also had a plan for how to sprint for extra points in the college entrance examination in the third year of junior high school. Some friends have told me that it really works.
But I want to emphasize that parents should not be the ones who set goals for their children, but rather the partners who work with them to implement them.
In the process of cultivating children's self-discipline, what we need to do is to guide and support, not force and control. In this way, the child's self-discipline can really be transformed into motivation to complete the task.