The idiom "want to cry without tears" could not be more appropriate for my female classmates.
My female classmate has a big black mole in the corner of her eye, and everyone says that this is a tearing mole, that is, a crying mole.
But it just so happened that my female classmate never shed tears, and I never saw her cry. Maybe it's a disease, but we, like the people involved, don't know about it.
I mistakenly thought that she was very strong and hard-hearted, and I admired her very much, and I always envied her, thinking why I couldn't be as tough as her, maybe no one dared to bully her.
I am a person who is "emotionally wanton", a little thing, a little affection will burst into tears, no exaggeration.
The fact that a female classmate didn't cry was witnessed by the death of her father.
Because her father had a heart attack in his forties and died suddenly without any preparation, it was strange for her family to cry so much that she was the only one standing without saying a word.
People were busy, no one paid attention to her, only I thought she was strange, because I couldn't stop crying, but she didn't do anything.
I went home and told my mother, who said that she also knew such a person, a woman who worked with her, and that she had no tears and could not cry.
Her mother asked her why she never cried, and she said she had no tears, no matter how sad she was, she couldn't cry.
When she quarreled with her husband, no matter how sad she was, she couldn't cry, and her husband thought that she was competing with herself, and she didn't take him seriously, so she was even more angry, so she started beating her, she still didn't cry, and her husband was speechless.
In fact, she felt more sad than anyone else, as uncomfortable as a cat scratch.
She also often envies others when they are sad, they can cry heartily and vent their emotions. Even this little pitiful, normal person can't meet the requirements.
I once tentatively asked a female classmate. Did she cry, she said that she had never shed tears, because she couldn't cry, even if she felt extremely uncomfortable, she couldn't cry.
Sometimes she hates herself so much, and in order to punish herself, she even beats herself when no one is around.
Just like when her father died. In fact, she is sadder than anyone else, because her father favors her the most, but she just can't cry, and she can't wait to accompany her father.
Only then did I know how painful her heart must be, and I no longer envied her.
Hearing this, I instantly felt extremely happy.
Although I can't really empathize, I can also understand her heartache and helplessness of "wanting to cry without tears", so everything is not necessarily the same as what we want to see.