Recently, former Olympic champion Liu Xuan's ** in a variety show was turned out and hit the top of the hot search.
It was a parenting variety show, and many people were stunned by her iron-blooded operation.
At that time, her son Jiao was almost 5 years old, and most of the children of ordinary families could go to the table to eat with adults.
And Liu Xuan will still cook for the correction ** alone, and every food in each meal needs to be accurately weighed with a measuring spoon, and even a raisin has to be cut in half.
The most puzzling thing is that she doesn't add a little salt to her cooking, and the child has been eating the taste of the ingredients themselves for several years, and has never tasted the taste of the seasoning.
Father Wang Tao saw it and said that his son was too pitiful.
After each meal, she also has to record the content and weight of the food in detail, from the birth of the correction, she has written down 8 books.
Once, Zhang Shao just went to her house for dinner, and saw a braised pork on the table, so he picked up a piece and fed it to Jiejiao, Liu Xuan hurriedly stopped it after seeing it, because there were more seasonings in the stew, which was too unhealthy for Jiujiao.
After she stopped it, she changed her son to a relatively light-tasting radish. Even the boiled radish with only a little salty taste was very fragrant, after all, it was the first time to taste something other than the food itself.
But in fact, Liu Xuan took care of Jiejie's diet so carefully because Jiejie was a child with allergies. So when it comes to eating, she will always be more meticulous.
There are also people who persuade her that the child is now.
Allergies at the age of three or four can be tried repeatedly and desensitized by exercise.
But Liu Xuan said that in fact, this concept is wrong. Allergies are something to be really careful about, when he is allergic, you keep trying this allergen, it will damage his body, and he may get asthma in the future.
From this point of view, it is not difficult to understand Liu Xuan's strict control of diet.
But in addition to eating, her daily routine is just as suffocating.
She made a schedule for militarized management for Jiaojiao, and the children's daily study plans, sports breaks, and other schedules were all drawn into a disc by her.
When eating, she will count down while shouting correction and asking the child to sit in the dining chair within 3 seconds.
Sometimes the correction will also play tricks and procrastinate and don't want to study, at this time, Liu Xuan will immediately turn into an iron-blooded tiger mother, without any emotion, and say on the spot: "You have to write if you cry, you have to write if you don't cry, you have to write if you are happy, and you have to write when you are rolling." ”
When it was time to exercise on the schedule, she was awkward and refused to exercise on the fitness equipment at home, so Liu Xuan applied both soft and hard, but naturally she couldn't be entangled, and reluctantly got on the fitness instrument.
She feels that it is very necessary to establish rules and manage time. Because when the child grows up, these social rules and school rules will be there, so he can better adapt to this society in the future.
Liu Xuan said that since he was a child, he also survived the high standards and strict requirements of his parents and coaches.
Only by being able to endure hardship, endure loneliness, and endure this militarized management can she shine in the sports world later.
So now that she has her own children, she naturally has to ask for correction with the same standards.
But she ignored that humans are not machines, they are emotionally aware, and they are not programmed to operate naturally step by step.
Every child has differences and differences, just like a spring, and now blindly high pressure, but it will bury a drastic hidden danger in the future.
The anxiety of first-time motherhood, the sisters are all from the past, and they can all empathize.
It's good to have a plan for your child's future, but it's too much to put your child in a scale and a planner.
In fact, I have also fallen into such a misunderstanding, and I have also put the growth of children into the scale.
When the child is still an embryo, the TA is graduated and the comparison begins.
6 weeks pregnant, the fetal bud is only 1cm, is the child too small?
It's 37 weeks old, and the fetus is less than 5 pounds, isn't it too small?My colleague is 37 weeks old, and the fetus is almost 6 pounds.
As soon as the battle in the embryo ended, as the new life fell to the ground, a new scale came: how much milk should the child drink in a few months, how much urine a day, how much sleep a day, what is the standard height and weight, and how much ...... should be eaten in complementary foodIt's all scaled!
Ever since I became a mom, the phrase I've heard the most is - you're too thin!Every time I hear this, my head buzzes.
It's my first time to be a mother, and Mi Li is indeed not fat, which does not conform to people's traditional aesthetics of fat dolls.
I've also wondered if my son is eating too littleIs it that my son's sleep time is not up to standard?Is it ?...... son who sleeps too poorly?
This repeated entanglement directly caused my sleep quality to plummet, and my dark circles were darkened.
One day, I looked at my haggard self in the mirror and suddenly figured it out.
What a complex animal a human being is, the innate genes and the acquired environment will have an impact on the growth of the person, how can the child grow according to the standard?
I've just grown thin from childhood to adulthood, and isn't my son skinny just because of me?
Moreover, his son's height and weight are steadily rising according to his own growth curve, and his son is also eating well, sleeping well, and having fun. Every time I went to the baby's office, the doctor didn't say anything like my son was too thin and unhealthy.
The scale can be used as a reference for a child's growth, but it cannot be a sign of whether the child is normal or not.
Children are not standard products on the assembly line, and children's growth should not be affected by the scale!
In order to meet the public's expectations for fat dolls, the already thin child is forced to eat and drink more, and he weighs himself and looks at his height every day, which is not conducive to the child's physical and mental health.
A child who is introverted and likes to be alone and likes to think, in order to make him lively and extroverted, forcing him to go out and experience the loneliness of the soul in the hustle and bustle will only make the child fall into the pain of being out of place.
As for the strange eyes of others, the scales attached to children by the outside world, their lethality to children is far less powerful than a parent's words.
In terms of learning and behavioral habits, in addition to the most basic requirements, the rest is more like a genetic lottery.
My husband and I have been full of internal motivation since we were young, whether it is studying or participating in various club activities, we must strive to do our best in everything.
But the son ......Except for football and "come and catch me", there is nothing that can mobilize his limited concentration.
If you want to set a small goal for him in his studies, it will inevitably be a bargain with the limit.
The two of us have been battling wits and courage in his studies for many years, and I have repeatedly jumped sideways in Buddhism and chicken blood, and if I could have embodied it as sit-ups, I would have developed my abs.
Speaking of the word "tiger mother", we have to mention the originator of the "tiger mother" Cai Meier.
Similar to Liu Xuan's experience, Cai Meier said that her success also benefited from the strict "traditional parenting method" of Chinese parents, so she passed on such a "cruel" educational concept and concocted it on her two daughters.
Back then, she used a book to spread the word "tiger mother" all over the world.
What is written in the book is her educational philosophy for her two daughters, such as not allowed to stay overnight outside since childhood, must take an A in every homework, practice at least 6 hours a day, and if she can't successfully complete a complex ** work, she will burn their toys ......
She wrote in the book that when her youngest daughter was 7 years old, there was a difficult song that she couldn't overcome, so she threatened her daughter that if she couldn't play it well, she wouldn't have lunch and dinner in the future, and all the parties and gifts should not be thought about.
Under her high pressure, the youngest daughter was shocked and frightened to master this complicated tune.
From such a trivial matter, you can get a glimpse of Cai Meier's tough methods.
Although both daughters had a good future under her almost strict education, for a long time, her education style was criticized, and she was also called "the worst mother on earth".
And an unexpected illness made Cai Meier, who has always been proud of her educational philosophy, begin to reflect.
Five years ago, she developed a disease that attacks the colon, diverticulitis.
Unfortunately, her condition was so critical that her body organs stopped functioning for a while.
After emergency rescue, she finally saved her life, but at the same time, she also lost her ability to take care of herself and could only rely on intubation to maintain her vital signs.
It was at this moment of life and death that she suddenly began to think about how sorry it would be if she died in the hospital like this, looking back on her life, on the road of children's growth, she remembered that she was full of reproaches for the children, said such ugly words to them, and lost so many tempers to them, without expressing her love for the children.
She had never imagined that she could use a gentler way to spur her daughters forward.
She will also feel afraid that the pressure she gave to her two daughters with an iron fist at the beginning, and if she is not careful, she will ruin this family. You must know that under the "tiger mother" type of education, both children had varying degrees of anxiety and depression.
Gradually, she learned to let go slowly and no longer interfere in the lives of the children, and her daughters understood her better, and the relationship between mother and daughter was better than ever.
But for the education of her next generation, the second daughter still feels that she will learn a lot of lessons from her mother, because many things could have been done completely differently from now.
One person's shoulders can't carry the lives of two people.
Children are not one with us, they will find their own way to face life, and they will have their own choices and life trajectories.
Even though it is possible to experience setbacks or failures, it is a valuable experience for children who have tried and experienced it personally, and no one can grow up by relying on the education of the ear to the face, but to grow up slowly through the ups and downs.
Every child has a completely different personality and no fixed growth trajectory, and education cannot be applied to any template.
The process of education is a process of exploration, because raising children is an extremely complex thing in itself, and it cannot be done once and for all.
Parenting is not easy, we encourage each other.
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