No one expected that Tao Yong would be able to "overturn".
Recently, he shared a Weibo post about educating his children on Weibo, which caused a huge controversy on the Internet.
Looking at it, it is still our most admired and favorite Dr. Tao Yong, who has experienced violent injuries to doctors and can no longer hold a scalpel, but he still faces the world with a smile, but it is he who writes a "small composition" that makes netizens feel a little uncomfortable.
Originally, parents had their own ways of educating their children, but that day was Tao Yong's daughter's twelfth birthday, and choosing to educate her children on this day felt more like a manifestation of parental power, which caused the comment area to be full of "suffocation".
Now Tao Yong himself deleted the original post and made a sincere apology, but there were many topics in the follow-up.
The aftermath is still lingering online.
Tao Yong is a father, why is it suffocating
Let's take a look at Tao Yong's Weibo first.
At the beginning, Tao Yong said that his daughter has a personality and a stinky temper.
Unwilling to compare, unwilling to pose, only playing with netizens in the game. After all, a twelve-year-old child already has a sense of self-subjectivity, and this kind of preaching seems to be well-intentioned, but in fact, it does not respect the child's ideas at all.
Next, there is the "obedience test" for the child.
First of all, let the child serve rice and cloth dishes, reflecting the intimate filial piety, and then let the child go out to wash the dishes.
In the end, I didn't forget to sublimate myself with self-absorption: my daughter is at the fork in the road between witches and ladies at this time, but I can't let her form a perverse circuit, and the old father doesn't dare to slack off.
But I just don't want to perform obediently on my birthday, how did it rise to a fork in the road, how can the so-called witch and lady be defined by housework.
Even, what's so bad about being a witch?
After publishing this tirade, Tao Yong matched Zhang's daughter's **, the girl in it looked cold, and it was indeed Tao Yong's "very individual".
Probably he just wanted to share his relationship with his children, but under this Weibo, netizens blew up.
On the one hand, it is a criticism of Tao Yong's "daddy taste".
There are too many times in the year to educate your daughter, and there are also various ways to urge your daughter to grow up, but Tao Yong chose the one that is least accepted by children:
On her birthday, in front of the whole family, young and old, she was asked to perform well-behaved to prove her authority.
Many people have probably had similar experiences, being asked to toast the whole family during the Chinese New Year, being forced to perform a show at a dinner, and being sensible and obedient at the banquet.
The important thing is not whether the child has learned emotional intelligence, but whether the parents can satisfy their own desire for control and "sense of ritual" in this kind of teaching.
Netizens almost thought of their past life experiences, and naturally they were indignant and launched an attack on Tao Yong, who was complacent about doing all this.
On the other hand, it is his subconscious discipline for women.
Why don't you do housework and be obedient?Why do the requirements for girls still stop at washing dishes with cloth dishes?Why do you want to define women by witches and ladies?
His obedience test for his daughter proves exactly that sentence:
"Reading allows women not to live their lives around the stove, but reading does not change men's thoughts that they want women to live their lives around the stove. ”
And after this incident, Tao Yong's other paternal feudal speeches in the past were also doxxed.
When he was a child, as long as he picked up a broom, his mother would urge him to go to school;And after he became a father, he wanted his daughter to pick up a broom in elementary school.
He was a guest in the live broadcast room of Oriental Selection, not talking about how to bring goods or medical knowledge, but teasing the female doctor: "When I see a beautiful **, Mr. Dong's eyes will definitely widen." ”
At twelve o'clock in the middle of the night, his wife washed her clothes by hand, and he took a ** to praise his wife for her hard work.
In the interview, he talked about housework as well, saying that he didn't do it because he "didn't want to do it", while his wife did it because "she liked it".
Source: Internet
After checking it, Tao Yong was born in 1980, and perhaps his wife was indeed deeply influenced by the narrative of virtuous housekeeping, and moved herself in the labor of housework, and this may be their way of getting along.
But it is undeniable that in this era when women are generally awakening and beginning to find more of themselves, Tao Yong, as a celebrity and with huge influence, is still making such remarks, which is obviously outdated.
Her sister does not deny his achievements in medical skills and noble character, but he may still have a long way to learn how to be a father and how to treat the women around him.
Help the people around you who speak
Birthday Incident" sparked widespread discussion, and Tao Yong quickly came forward to respond.
said that he was also learning parenting style, and this turmoil made him reflect, and he was also exploring a more suitable way of parent-child education, willing to accept criticism and constantly correct.
More importantly, he realized that his defects were mainly due to the deliberate creation of a sense of ritual, the establishment of authority that we talked about above.
His expression was very sincere, and the netizens below also expressed their understanding, thinking that if he could reflect on and learn because of this, it would also be a kind of growth.
But compared to his gentleness, the attitude of the people around him is more incomprehensible.
As early as when Tao Yong caused a storm because of that Weibo, a blogger who claimed to be Tao Yong's sister stood up to take the bullet for Tao Yong and listed Tao Yong's various kinds to prove that "my senior brother is not a man with a father's taste".
In the first half, he was still telling how good and upright Tao Yong was, and exonerated Tao Yong, saying: Maybe he just wants to "show his daughter's sensible and caring feelings" in front of relatives and friends.
However, when talking about his relationship with Tao Yong in the second half, he began to murmur in his heart - this is not a father, so what is a father?
In her narrative, Tao Yong is "like an old father who is sincerely afraid" when facing a group of female doctors, for fear that they will not be able to marry.
And when TVB dramas are already scolding people for their work ability with "find a man to marry", Tao Yong in the mouth of the little junior sister is still taking "whether you want to marry or not" as a woman's retreat?
Even, I feel that women are embarrassed by studying for a doctorate, thinking that women's happiness needs men.
All kinds of speeches stunned a group of netizens, making people suspect that this junior sister came out to "pour oil" under the banner of being good for Tao Yong.
Later, Tao Yong came forward to respond to netizens**, with a sincere and humble attitude, but this old Liang was still unforgiving, and made explosive remarks one after another.
After a while, he said that "only female doctors are qualified not to marry".
After a while, he expressed his sobriety, saying that he had no gender on the day he got his doctorate, "because a female doctor is neither a man nor a woman."
Let's just say, why don't you read a book and lose all your gender?
Later, in order to prove that Tao Yong is better than most of her fathers, she listed the parts she thought her father should do:
There is nothing wrong with these criteria, but the problem lies in the replies below.
Some netizens pointed out that this is what a normal family should do, but she inexplicably substituted for a beaten role: "Has the slap on the face subsided?".”
Then, her other praise for Tao Yong also makes people accept incompetence.
Let the daughter receive education, do not commit domestic violence, be faithful to the marriage, support the wife's career, etc. Isn't this what a normal man should do?How could she be praised to such an extent, and how could she be worthy of being held up to the altar by her?
The more she spoke, the more she exposed her outdated imagination of gender relations and parenting relationships, and the more she showed the separation of academic qualifications and ideas in the new era.
In fact, both she and Tao Yong are high-level intellectuals who have received higher education, and her sister also believes that in their daily life and work, they are indeed gentle and decent. They also have a basic principle of "equality between men and women" in terms of gender relations and child-rearing concepts.
But I also have to admit that even if they are like this, they also have the ideological steel seal of "male protagonist outside and female protagonist inside", and they also hide the subconscious that "women cannot be alone".
This logic is more subtle than oppressive patriarchal thinking, because they seem to be "for your good".
Therefore, Tao Yong will let his daughter wash the dishes, and will let the female doctor under his hand get married;And this junior sister will think that only female doctors are qualified not to get married, and will think that it is a good man not to have a second child without domestic violence and let her daughter receive education.
She said that Tao Yong is 9999% of Chinese fathers are excellent, which actually proves that her imagination of men and fathers is still stuck in ten years ago or twenty years ago.
The set of criteria she gave was supposed to be only the average water mark for men.
In the past, high education was their best fig leaf and blindfold, and people in high positions and professional authorities could be forgiven for expressing any opinions, or even passing by lightly with a sentence of "not understanding the world".
Just like what Lao Liang said when he defended Tao Yong: lack of secular strings, not good at mundane complex emotions.
Fortunately, the one-sided comments of netizens have proved that the logic of the past does not work.
We have already understood that no matter how high the academic qualifications are, they cannot cover up the backwardness of concepts, and no matter how authoritative knowledge is, they cannot wash away the feudalism of thought.
Men who love to preach
But we have to admit that for a long time people were very used to that kind of old narrative
An excellent man with academic achievements in the professional field can express his opinion on anything in the world, and people even need excellent men to stand up and guide the country at the right time, and even crave their mentor-like guidance.
The favorite to express his views is Zhou Guoping, who was once regarded as a spiritual idol by the literary youth, and there was a saying on the university campus in the last century that "boys must read Wang Xiaobo, and girls must read Zhou Guoping".
However, our great writer Zhou Guoping is keen on the toxic remarks exported to women, including but not limited to:
It can be seen that he has no experience of female embodiment at all, and he has not conducted professional research on gender philosophy or philosophy, but this does not affect the nonsense of this, and there is even a hundred forums of "Zhou Guoping on Women", which objectifies women to the extreme.
Source: Encyclopedia
He wrote a book called Niu Niu that touched thousands of readers.
Behind the words of the literati tongue lotus flower, it is actually Zhou Guoping, as a parent, who allowed his daughter's condition to develop and deteriorate until death, and then wrote poignant and self-pitying words to soothe his guilt.
Niu Niu" also caused the death of his children because of his strange parenting concept, as well as the pioneer writer Ma Yuan.
His son suffers from congenital heart disease "Marfan syndrome", but Ma Yuan chose to pretend not to see the condition, bought a castle in Xishuangbanna, far from the city, did not let the child go to school, and returned to the mountains, the so-called "natural **" caused Ma Ge to die at the age of 13 because he did not seek medical treatment.
Ma Yuan and his son Ma Ge
Ma Yuan not only arbitrarily strangled his son's life, but also turned his wife into a servant of his castle.
Ma Yuan refused his wife's request to give his son medical treatment, the 2000 square meters of the castle was all cleaned by his wife, in the morning she wanted to make egg noodles in front of Ma Yuan, calling Ma Yuan "leader", and he also published a variety of "training wives" ** to show off everywhere.
Ma Yuanxun's wife
And these outrageous behaviors are all regarded as good talk under the bluffing name of the "Pioneer Five Tiger Generals" - training wives and teaching children in a good way, even if Ma Yuan has not produced any substantial output for many years, he has long been obscure, and he can still be the emperor of the soil with the halo of decades ago.
There are many, many literati who are doing things with a halo.
Qian Zhongshu, who loves to express sharp views on gender observation, is completely a giant baby in life, turning his wife Yang Jiang, who is also a writer, into his old mother, and such a marriage is also advertised as "perfect love" by the world.
From "Male Writers Write Women, It's Really Not Good".
Gu Cheng, a romantic poet who has a giant baby, is also the same bloodsucking template, turning Xie Ye, who is a poet, into a nanny, he also keeps cheating, omnipotent narcissism, paranoia, and finally kills his wife with an axe and then commits suicide.
But readers who don't know the truth will only read the purest and true love in the poem, but they don't know that behind the beauty is the life of a sacrificial woman.
Gu Cheng's romantic love poems
These talented and excellent men are easily forgiven, even if they have serious character flaws, causing distress and even great harm to the people around them, but after all, "men are teenagers until they die" and "geniuses always have quirks".
At the same time, these excellent men are always tempted to point fingers at the world, and people have been silently manplaining for thousands of years before the term "preachy men" was coined.
The Preaching Man".
Schopenhauer arrogantly opened the microphone: "The most suitable occupation for a woman is to care for and educate children, because they are themselves very naïve." ”
Nietzsche went one step further and scolded directly: "Are you going to a woman?".Don't forget to bring your whip. ”
Schopenhauer and Nietzsche's misogynistic speeches should not be too much
Even Tarkovsky, the greatest filmmaker in our hearts and the most aware of the suffering of the underclass, will talk about women's issues without thinking
Women's thirst for knowledge is not as strong as men's" "It's not in nature for ambitious women to be uncomfortable. ”
Tarkovsky, "Homesickness".
Jia Pingwa will say the most cannibalistic words in seemingly mild words:
If a man in a mountain village does not buy a daughter-in-law, there will never be a daughter-in-law, and if the village never buys a daughter-in-law, the village will die. ”
Jia Pingwa's new book "Polar Flower" press conference
Although these elite men excel in their respective fields, they often mistakenly believe that their professional achievements are enough to support them in other fields.
The former identity society has a high tolerance for elite male daddies.
Today, however, people can see through the arrogance, weakness and unscrutiny behind those daddy statements.
Moreover, we have learned that "noble character", "knowledgeable", "didactic" and "misogynistic" can be established in one person at the same time, and the opinions of the elite are limited to their own professional fields.
Source: Sina Weibo
Although this article mainly refers to paternal men, in fact, it is not only men who love to preach, but also other arrogant people in power, but the proportion of men is more prominent, after all, men are born to enjoy the world and have a stronger sense of worthiness.
And this layer of window paper has now been pierced.
Modern people have a strong ego, have high requirements for subjectivity, and are quite sensitive to the PUA remarks of the self-proclaimed "life mentor", and they can no longer scare us.
Tao Yong's apology statement was written very sincerely, he explained the situation of posting Weibo to train girls, and also reflected on the inadequacy of his own educational concepts.
100 help plan
Dr. Tao Yong has personally proved that daddy taste does not work, and even Tao Yong is learning, reflecting and making changes.
Just like Xiao Mo, who exposed Shi Hang's "literati romance", said:
"We're not stupid, and we're getting less stupid, we're still growing, and you'd better not get old. Time is on our side. ”
It's time for daddy men to open their eyes to the world.