Not long ago, a parent sent me a private email, telling me about his education method of "strict mother and loving father", and asked me with some doubts and apprehensions whether this would be useful for their childrenHe said that his wife was strict at home, but he himself was gentle and tolerant. He recalled his life when he was a child, and the atmosphere of "strict father and mother" was completely two extremes now. He is very worried about whether such a role change will have negative consequences for the healthy development of children, especially the understanding of children's gender roles and personality formation. This parent's worry is actually a worry for many people. From people's point of view, "strict father and loving mother" is a more rational way of education, but "strict mother and loving father" is quite against the trend. However, with the change of times and the change of family philosophy, do we still need to stick to this old way of life?This is a valuable question.
Parental love. In the traditional concept of "strict father and loving mother", the father is often the head of the family, while the mother is the embodiment of gentleness and tolerance. Children who grow up in this family often learn Xi respect and etiquette in their father's strict middle school, and get emotional comfort and support in their mother's care. On the other hand, if you are too demanding of your children, it will cause them to be afraid, have low self-esteem, and lack confidence and security. Children who grow up in such a family environment will be more introverted and timid, and will not actively express their thoughts and feelings. On the other hand, if dads pay too much attention to rules and rules, then they don't have the opportunity to develop their creativity and imagination, and they are not willing to try something new.
The mother's gentleness and tolerance not only give the children emotional security, but also make the children develop a dependency mentality. Because their mothers are usually very tolerant and tolerant, they often lack respect and understanding for others when facing others, and they also lack the ability to deal with conflicts and frustrations. This is not conducive to their development and awareness.
Father-mother relationship.
On the contrary, as a new type of family upbringing, "strict mother and loving father" is still a new thing in China. In this model, mom plays a more severe role, and dad plays a milder role. This parenting approach may have a role to play in the gender role of children, especially for boys, who are difficult to understand due to the lack of the concept of "male role models". Due to the lack of strict parental guidance, boys are greatly hindered in learning how to cope with challenges and overcome difficulties in Xi.
At the same time, this model also affects women's perception of men. Because of the gentleness and tolerance of fathers, girls may not know or respect the authority of men. When they get along with men, they have a tendency to be excessive, overly tolerant and tolerant, which causes tension between them.
Gender roles and family education.
From "strict father and loving mother" to "strict mother and loving father", it can be seen that the roles played by men and women in family life are different. The traditional relationship between men and women is no longer suitable for today's world, so parents should be more flexible and open in teaching their children. Education should not be gender-centred, but tailored to the child's personality and needs.
Between "strict father and loving mother" and "strict mother and loving father", parents often feel at a loss. How can we find a balance between these two poles and create a good family education atmosphere for the comprehensive development of children?
Learn what makes children special.
Every child is unique, and we can't expect a one-size-fits-all approach to education. Parents should carefully understand the personality traits of their children and adopt appropriate teaching methods according to the needs of their children. Some children may demand more rules and rules, while others demand more care and understanding.
Parents work together.
Whether it is a "strict father and loving mother" or a "strict mother and loving father", parents must cooperate with each other and cooperate with each other in the cultivation of their children. The roles of parents are complementary so that children can receive a better education. Moms and dads can give the baby appropriate guidance and help at the most important time according to the baby's needs.
Diversity of typical characters and modes of action.
In addition to parents, children also need to find their own patterns and patterns of behavior from others. "Strict father and loving mother" and "strict mother and loving father" are just a typical family parenting style, and children can also gain knowledge from the role models and characters of others in the process of learning and Xi. Role models found in society, in school, and in the circle of friends provide more opportunities for children to observe and study.
Communication and respect.
Communication and respect between parents and children, whether strict or inclusive, is important. Parents should have enough patience to listen to their children's thoughts and have effective communication with them. Through communication, parents can better understand their children's needs and problems, so as to provide targeted guidance and support.
Therefore, it is necessary to combine children's personality characteristics and needs to formulate family education methods suitable for children's development. All types of teaching methods have their advantages and disadvantages, and parents must be flexible and constantly adjust if they want to have a better Xi learning environment. First of all, parents should build on the love and respect for their children, pay attention to the development and development of young children, and give appropriate guidance and support.