What kind of marriage is the most painful?
can't leave, and have a bad marriage.
This is a heart-wrenching Q&A on the Internet.
But in real life, such marriages are not uncommon. What should I do if I encounter one?
There is a saying that says:
The troubles of the world are just 12 words: I can't see through, I can't think about it, I can't let it go, and I can't forget it.
In the face of a marriage that you can't live without and can't live well, you might as well try the following 3 methods.
one
Let yourself go and allow yourself to be selfish
A marriage, if you are still struggling with whether to leave or not, it means that in your heart, you have not been disappointed enough in the person in front of you and this marriage with this person.
In other words, you are unhappy with your current married life, but you have no intention of leaving.
Disappointment and dissatisfaction are your evaluation of this marriage. This is your true feeling, you have to learn to acknowledge it, accept it, and let your negative emotions and dissatisfaction be released.
Don't forcibly suppress it, negative emotions have no outlet for catharsis, they will only put a heavy shell on your heart, and to a certain extent, either depression becomes a disease, or a little thing can become a straw that crushes you.
If you want to cry, let yourself cry happily. If you want to roar, allow yourself to roar freely. When you feel very uncomfortable and feel very weak, don't force yourself to pretend to be strong.
If you don't want to cook, you don't cook, if you don't want to clean up the housework, you can mess up the house. If you don't want to take care of the child, you leave the child to the other party.
Take care of yourself first, take care of your emotions, take care of your body. Wait until your mood is calm and your energy returns to normal, and then you can clean up your trivial life.
No one should be a steel warrior, don't let yourself be in a constant state of tension in the bowstring, learn to be selfish, learn to stay out of things, and give yourself a little respite.
This world turns the same way away from everyone, learn to love yourself first, and then you will get the love of others.
II. II. II
Grasp the big and let go of the small, and do less senseless entanglement
Psychology says that the function of marriage is nothing more than to provide four values:
Material value, emotional value, growth value, and biological value.
In other words, a marriage satisfies your material, spiritual, and biological needs.
But you can't have it both ways, you can't get all your needs from a marriage, and there is no one person who can provide you with all four values at the same time.
What you need to do is figure out what you want mostWhat is your most important need?
Don't think about both, wanting, and wanting, no one is perfect, and lack of greed will only make your marriage doomed.
When people can't catch it, they grab the money.
Just like Zhang Ailing's Xibao said:
If you don't get a lot of love, you need a lot of money.
If you can't get hold of people and money, then try to stay away emotionally, focus on yourself, try to avoid more damage, and give yourself more opportunities to improve your abilities.
Grasp the big and let go of the small, and be less entangled with the people and things that consume yourself, and your heart will be much calmer.
Three
Lift yourself, don't lie flat and don't mess up
Host Yang Lan said:
The so-called marriage is to constantly renew oneself and constantly renew each other, two people are attracted at the same time, and at the same time they keep falling in love with the same person.
No matter who you marry, at the end of the day, you are with yourself. The greatest confidence and sense of security in marriage is based on yourself, your own ability and strength.
Don't think about lying flat, let alone rotten, love is flowing, and one person's love for another person will arise and disappear.
The durability of love depends on whether you have value and can be exchanged with the other person.
As Eileen Chang said:
Life is already very hard, and no one wants to carry another person's life, what a heavy burden it is.
Remember to improve yourself and make yourself valuable and powerful, so that you will not be disliked by the other party.
Keep yourself financially and spiritually independent, even if love is gone, you have the confidence and ability to be independent.
Love is fluid, marriage is also changing, the only constant is one's own ability and confidence.
If you can't live a bad marriage, lower your expectations and pay attention to yourself.
Only when you are strong can you advance and retreat freely in the besieged city. Marital affection between the sexes