Recently, a topic that has suddenly exploded has become popular, that is, movies that make both parents and children fall into contemplation-"Wading through the Sea of Wrath".
But what everyone discusses the most is not the plot story of the movie, but the inner core of the movie's content:Native homeschooling. The movie tells the story of two families: Lao Jin, a father who lives by going out to fish, and his daughter;A divorced mother and son Li Miaomiao, the story of her daughter died unexpectedly in Japan, and Lao Jin did not hesitate to use all means to "revenge" in order to seek the truth. Under the seemingly ups and downs of the exciting plot, all of them are bloody dismantling and analysis of family education. As a father, Huang Bo said something meaningful after hearing that his daughter had an accident"She is my old Jin's daughter, let others know that something is wrong, where will my face go." The first thing the father thinks of when the child has an accident is his face, not how much truth is behind his daughter's death. 
And the mother starring Zhou Xun also implies many doubts, the almost ** son Li Miaomiao not only hurt her half-sister, but also made her paralyzed and disfigured since she was a child, such a deformed psychology is difficult not to let us reflect on the education of our parents. Therefore, after watching this movie, many netizens said the most is: It's crazy, I feel like both of them are crazy!It can be seen that the influence of the original family on the child is really very greatBecause of the lack of father's love since childhood, the daughter has become inferior and sensitive, and is very eager for the care and "control" of others, thinking that this is the so-called "preference";Because the son lives in a broken family, the love he gets is unfair in itself, leading to crazy and even extreme behavior, which are all inner dissatisfaction and resistance to real life. 
The name of the movie "Wading through the Sea of Wrath", which means "treading water", "anger" represents the process and result, is the mask of four incompetent parents, and the "sea" symbolizes the vast and boundless sadness.
It's just to remind us:
Parental love is the first and final haven in a person's life. Parents should treat their children with what little strength they have, so that children do not have to spend their lives healing from childhood. Pay attention to your child's mental health, use a healthy childhood ** their whole life, and don't let a belated apology become a regret. All regrets, apologies, and amendations are in vain, because many injuries are irreversible and will affect the child's life.
Parents are the child's first and eternal island of safety
Family Love has a psychology book called "The Family of Origin - How to Mend Your Character Flaws", which literally translates into English as "Toxic Parents". Like Lao Jin and Li Miaomiao's parents, they can be regarded as "incompetent parents" among toxic parents. Children who grow up in such families are emotionally abandoned and have a great lack of self-worth. This type of parents, they do not love their children, but they are powerless to love, so that when the children become adults, they cannot get out of the shadows, and even look for substitutes for their parents, and constantly encounter difficult people, becoming a codependent personality. Rogers, a master of clinical psychology in the United States, believes that for a child, the unconditional positive attention of parents is a crucial growth factor. 
They love Him unconditionally, they don't ask Him for anything, they don't condemn Him, they just love Him and take care of Him because he is their own child, no matter what his shortcomings are. 
With the unconditional and positive attention of parents, children will form a "safety island" in their hearts, and the love of parents is the cornerstone of the safety island. He is very confident in exploring the world, building relationships, and is not particularly afraid of being hurt. Because he is convinced that if he is hurt, if others reject him and do not want him, he can return to this safe island, and his parents will love him and support him. As we age, this sense of security gradually precipitates into a subconscious. With this subconscious, you will trust trustworthy people, just as you trust your parents when you were a child. They seldom suspect the minds of others, but if there is a clear reason to tell him that a person is not trustworthy and unworthy of love, they will resolutely leave the person and do less stupid things. They can also get hurt, but their wounds will always heal relatively quickly. The relationship model between parents and children is the foundation of the child's relationship with other people, and it is also the cornerstone of the child's personality and emotional intelligence, which is more important than knowledge. There is a sentence in this movie: Parents are the first and eternal island of safety for their children. It is to tell us that every person's life, parents are the initial and ultimate "safety island". I hope that every parent can really pay attention to their children's emotions, meet their emotional needs, provide their children with emotional value, and no longer let emotional neglect affect his life. 
So,How to build a good family of origin?Parents and friends need to do the following:1. Respond positively to children's needsSometimes our parents do not refuse our children's "unreasonable" requests, but readily agree, which will make the children firmly believe that I am important, my feelings, and my parents care. When parents are willing to understand their children's inner world through their children's eyes, they will understand their psychological needs. This moment is an opportunity for the parent-child relationship to become closer, and the child's sense of security and belonging gradually increases. Only when parents hold their children's hearts can children feel it steadily. 2. Parents encourage children's frustrationChildren's growth will inevitably go through many ups and downs and setbacks, and the attitude of parents at this time will make children feel the temperature of the family. We always think that belittling, denying, and hitting children is a kind of spur and encouragement, and will urge children to develop in a good direction, but the truth is the opposite. Parents whose children are willing to come close must be able to offer love and support, and put on armor for them, rather than attacking them. Children who come out of encouraging families not only have a more sound personality, but also have a more positive attitude. 
3. Parents love each other and build a warm homePsychologist Susan Foward said, "In the minds of young children, parents are the center of the world."
The way parents get along with each other is the color of the world in the children's eyes, and the love of parents is the warmest home in the eyes of children. Bathed in a family where their parents love each other, children see happiness and look forward to beauty in their hearts. Goethe said:"There are two things that a child should get from their parents—roots and wings."
A good original family never relies on brocade clothes, but it must be integrated with love, so that children can feel the solidity of their roots and the support of their wings at home
Give him a sense of worth and happiness with full understanding, attention, and response;
Give him a sense of security and belonging with unconditional support, encouragement and love;
The home of the joint efforts of parents is the happiest home in the world.
With kindness and a sense of security, children will look forward to their future lives with their heads held high.