The recently popular "News Queen" has gone crazy. Golden sentences come out frequently, and the three views of the protagonists in the play are very **, and it is finally no longer a bloody romance drama dressed in the coat of the workplace. One of them is impressive:"You can't even imagine a dog biting a man, the world of a man biting a dog is not for you, find a man to marry. ”can't help but make the audience sigh: so ruthless!The phrase "find a man to marry" is really ruthless and denies the full value of a person. No wonder he was praised by netizens: he is so good at scolding!However, such words are too direct, and the disgust and dissatisfaction with the other party are put on the surface, except for some occasions that tear the face, such words are rarely heard in reality. And there is another similar uncomfortable phrase that is heard more often and mentioned repeatedly by many people when they were young, and that is -You are fit to be a wife. 
Many girls have heard words like this when they were young, "You can't get married when you grow up like this", "No one dares to ask you in the future if you are like this", "How can you marry when you grow up like you", ......There are countless words like this, and many women have been educated since childhood to be hygienic, polite, able to do housework, gentle and decent, and these excellent qualities are all named "married". When you grow up, if you occasionally show your good cooking skills in front of outsiders, you will not be praised for "yo, your skills are simply a five-star chef", but more likely to be praised by the opposite sex for "you are very suitable for being a wife". Those qualities related to gentleness, good cooking, and financial management are eventually replaced by the phrase "you are suitable to be a wife". @z king should know that it is a high evaluation to be a wife, indicating that you have many good qualities, such as kindness, gentleness, and good treatment of others. Some women are suitable for play, but they will definitely not marry. Seeing such a crooked reasoning, I really want to ask, since I think others are kind, why don't you just praise her for being kind, if you think the other party is gentle, why don't you directly praise the other party for being gentle, and direct praise is so difficult to say that you must say "You are suitable to be a wife" to express your praise?And, when hearing this sentence, most of the people who are praised will feel uncomfortable. So why did this phrase become an offense?@桥本环冰你怎么夸人夸出了一种选妃的感觉. My roommate likes to tidy up and store, and usually after she tidies up my desk, I will come to this sentence: Which kid can marry you is counted as the blessing of his good deeds and virtues in his previous life. If you see it, it's called boasting.
The unpleasantness of being stared at
Berg came up with the concept of the "gender gaze". He pointed out that women are often observed and subjected to the gaze from men, and in the process of gaze, women are objectified and even extended to social rules of unconditional obedience. This kind of gaze carries the operation of power, the entanglement of desires and the consciousness of identity, and is to see the relationship between the superior and the inferior under the skin of the seen. The Gazer sees the Gazer as a "passive, possessed and used prop to please itself". There are a lot of ** stares in life. For example:On the performance stage of some girl groups, the camera moves from bottom to top, and what the audience sees at a glance is not someone singing, but her white and thin legs, and then a little bit to her chest, and finally her face, such a shot is a male gaze shot. It presents a woman's figure, manners, and face from a male perspective, rather than her singing. Another example,In some beer commercials, when the main character of the ad is a woman, then it is most likely sun, sand, bikini beauties and beer. Here the role of bikini beauties is to attract men. And what if the main character is male?Then the ad might be for men who are barbecuing, partying, and drinking, and in this case men are showing that beer is delicious. 
Photo source "Kim Ji-young born in 82".
Behind the scenes of commercials, movies, and various programs that highlight women** are the gaze, which makes the gaze uneasy and brings pleasure to the gazer. Feminist theory believes that based on the shaping of social and cultural customs and traditional concepts of biological sex, society puts forward differentiated role expectations and requirements for men and women through a set of values, institutional norms and cultural customs. In this cultural context, men are often given more power and status as observers and gazers, while women are seen more as objects to be observed and gazed at. The male gaze is not just a visual act, but also a power mechanism. Under this gaze, women are objectified, objectified, and become objects of male desire and power. This gaze embodies the dominance of men in society and culture and the control of women. French philosopher and writer who is considered one of the founders of modern feminism. She analyzes in detail the effects of the male gaze on women in The Second Sex, noting:Women are seen as "other" and adjuncts of men. Staring may make a female ** to be watched, judged, or even violated. This discomfort may stem from women's concerns about their bodies and privacy, as well as fear of the underlying intentions behind the male gaze.
Praise from the superior to the inferior
When judging whether this sentence will make people feel offended, a netizen said this: "How to tell if this sentence is offensive, if you are willing to say this sentence to your leader, your boss, your mother, then it is not an offense. But if you don't dare, then you know it. Here, the boss, the boss, and the mother are all obviously in a relationship with the superior. And the phrase "you are suitable to be a wife" is an obvious evaluation of the superior to the inferior. A superior usually refers to someone who is in a higher position in an organization, company, group, or intimate relationship, etc. They usually have leadership, decision-making ability, command ability, coordination ability, etc., and are leaders, managers, or decision-makers in an organization or group. The superior in an intimate relationship, on the other hand, refers to how one partner maintains or strengthens his or her position in an intimate relationship by controlling, influencing, or dominating the other. 
Photo source "82-year-old Kim Ji-young" power balance theory believes,In any kind of relationship, power is dynamically balanced. This balance is influenced by a variety of factors, such as resource control, decision-making ability, social influence, etc. In intimate relationships, there are often differences in the distribution of power between the two parties, but this difference is not absolute. Over time and as the situation changes, the powers of both sides may change. The superior in an intimate relationship usually asserts his or her position by controlling and manipulating the other partner's actions and decisions. They may use emotional, financial, social, and other means to control each other in order to achieve their goals and desires. But we all know thatIn intimate relationships, everyone seeks equality, and no one wants to be inferior. You may be able to accept the accusations of your leader, but you will never accept the accusations of an unrelated passer-by. And the phrase "you are suitable to be a wife" is to judge the subordinate from the perspective of a superior person, I think you are gentle, you are virtuous, and you are a good cook, so I allowed you to be a wife. But whether you want it or not, it doesn't matter, and I don't want to know. It's like this bird is suitable for a cage and that bird is not. The bird asks why?Answer that it's because your voice is nice and not noisy, and that one is too noisy. The bird asked who decided that if the call was good, it must be kept at homeWhat if I don't want to be in a cage and want to fly in the sky?
Perception of the role of the wife influences our attitudes
If we see that someone's child has particularly good grades or is particularly capable, we may praise him, "This child must be the material of a big boss when he grows up", "This child will definitely become a big leader when he grows up", instead of "Your child must be a part-time worker when he grows up so hard", "It's a pity that your child doesn't do 996 when he grows up so hard", this kind of words will probably make the other party's parents unhappy. Because in our traditional concept, bosses and leaders are equal to the owners of power and wealth, and they are superiors, which are related to strong ability, great power, and wealth, while workers are subordinates in the workplace. In the same way, most people think that the phrase "you are suitable to be a wife" is an offense, and it is also related to our perception of the role of "wife". 
Source: "82-year-old Kim Ji-young" Role cognition refers to the process of individuals recognizing and understanding the roles played by themselves and others, as well as the relationships between these roles. It involves many aspects of an individual's cognition, values, role behaviors and role expectations of themselves, others and society. In our traditional view, the role of the wife is to be responsible for the daily care of the family, including cooking, cleaning, shopping, and caring for the familyResponsible for the upbringing and education of the child, including caring for the child's physical and mental health, as well as guiding the child's behavior and values;Responsible for maintaining relationships between family members, including establishing and maintaining good relationships with the husband's relatives and friends;Participate in important family decisions, including family planning, financial arrangements;Helping your husband with work matters, providing emotional support and encouragement, etc. It is true that not everyone can be a good wife, and from a certain point of view, "you are fit to be a wife" does have a positive meaning for a person, but at the same time, the wife is not easy, even hard, so not everyone wants to be a wife. In such a situation, most people will think that "you are suitable to be a wife" is an offense. So do you want to know your place in the emotion?Enter the [Solution X] applet to take a look at this test [Free].
Write at the endHow can you tell if the phrase "suitable to be a wife" is offensive?X-chan believes that this problem cannot be generalized. The main thing is the opinion of the recipient of this sentence, which depends on the other person's definition of "wife". Similarly, whether "suitable to be a husband" is offensive or not also depends on the other party's definition of "husband". When the other person thinks that the word represents the meaning of praise, then it is naturally a compliment, and if the other person thinks that the word is complex and does not like it, then it is an offense. Author: Bert KenniniTypesetting: Berg Kennini