Fourteen years after the flash marriage, my husband filed for divorce, and my husband had no feelings, and I fell in love with her beauty at first
Marriage is a major event, and when entering into marriage, both parties should think carefully, and do not rush into marriage due to impulsiveness, hasty union without deep understanding, resulting in hasty marriage.
Hurried marriages mostly end in unfortunate endings.
At the mediator's desk, the helper, Zhenzhen, expressed deep concern.
She said that she has been working with her husband for more than 14 years and has a son.
He is fully absorbed in the workplace and does not care about family chores except for financial support.
The growth of the child is undertaken by her own hard work.
In order to create a good environment for her children to grow up, she has made countless sacrifices. However, she firmly believes that it is all worth it, and that as long as the family is harmonious, her personal future is not so important.
When the child grew up, the husband immediately changed his behavior. He began to resort to cold violence, became yin and yang in his speech, and even used various means to force her to divorce.
When she heard her husband file for divorce, her whole body seemed to be struck by lightning and fell into deep contemplation. She began to question her past thoughts and sacrifices for her family. She used to think that it was worth it to give for her family, but perhaps to others, it was just a joke.
Her heart was full of mixed emotions, and she felt very lost. She was not reconciled. Why does the husband file for divorce at this time when the family is gradually getting better?Why didn't you bring it up more than ten years ago?She felt like she was being used and then thrown away.
She asked herself if she was sorry for her husband, and she didn't control him too much. He's always been at ease. Why is he so ruthless?
He became like a stranger.
Before, their relationship was very good.
Now, the husband has moved out and the two are separated. It is clear that he filed for divorce deliberately, not on the spur of the moment.
She asked him why he wanted to get a divorce, but he wouldn't tell why.
Her purpose for asking for help is very clear, hoping to untie the knot in his heart, not to divorce in a hurry, and to live well together. If he insists on a divorce, at least give an explanation so that she can die of this heart.
In order to get to know the truth of the matter, the mediation team went with Zhenzhen to her husband, Mr. Zhang's residence, to meet with Mr. Zhang.
Faced with the mediator's inquiry, Mr. Zhang quickly began to blame Zhenzhen for all kinds of faults, and he believed that the two were in the current predicament completely caused by Zhenzhen herself, and had no regrets.
The reason for the separation of the two, he said that Zhenzhen would not be clear in his heart!
If it's not unbearable, who will easily leave the warmth of their home and rent a house outside!
He recalled the day she had kicked him out of the house.
was chased by her and asked, as if he was a psychopath, whether he had a relationship with a woman outside, and whether he was unfaithful to her?
He didn't bother to pay attention to this nonsense, even if it was useless to explain, she didn't want to listen to it at all, and only cared about talking to herself.
Unable to get a satisfactory answer, she became furious and continued to press.
He replied aloud, denying everything, but not explaining in detail, knowing that explanations would not help her, but would only make her more entangled, so he simply went about his own business, and left her to express her suspicions.
In the face of her suspicions, he ruthlessly said no, but did not elaborate too much on the explanation, thinking that it was up to her to believe it or not.
She got angry and insisted that he was perfunctory.
So, she announced that he should leave, let's go, there is no need to come back.
If he hadn't said that, he might not have chosen to leave home.
Zhenzhen's face is full of grievances, her anger is not out of nowhere, and the suspicion that he is not unfounded, but because he is having an affair with someone else. In her opinion, having friends of the opposite sex is a matter of course.
Keeping a certain distance from friends of the opposite sex is a necessary principle, and you can't do something out of bounds. However, the husband paid no attention to this, turned a deaf ear to her advice, and often played with his friends of the opposite sex without any sense of proportion.
Some people even think that these friends of the opposite sex are his lovers!
In addition, some small conflicts in the family are always provoked by him first, and he indulges his temper to point fingers at her. Once she retorted, he said that she had a big temper and did not mean to tolerate her at all.
Hearing this, of course, she would be angry, and the two got into an argument.
When she says something angry, she asks him to leave, but in reality she doesn't really want him to leave.
In the past, when the two had an argument, she was so angry that she ran away from home, and he didn't try to coax her. Eventually, she came back on her own because she was worried about the children at home.
For Mr. Zhang, he didn't see anything wrong with it. He gets along well with people, he has a lot of friends, whether they are of the same sex or the opposite sex, everyone usually plays together and chats, which cannot be regarded as ambiguous.
In his opinion, what age has it been.
Zhenzhen is considered by him to be making a big fuss, his heart is too small, and he doubts this and that all day long, which is really tiring.
In the absence of any evidence, she slandered him for transgressing the line with other people, which made him feel very unconvinced.
He believes that why admit what has not been done, there is no need to explain it to her.
Zhenzhen once again emphasized that she would not doubt people for no reason, and everything that made her suspicious was the fact that she saw it with her own eyes.
Whenever he gets off work, has dinner, is not at home with her and the children, and always goes out to wander.
It may not be surprising that a person acts alone, and she usually does not make much judgment.
The problem was that he was on a motorcycle, carrying a woman who was around his waist and wandering around together.
The intimate behavior of the two, is this a normal relationship?
As a person with a family, he should not have such an intimate act with the opposite sex, and anyone who sees it will feel that the two are having an affair.
Especially on weekends, he doesn't need to take a break from work, which makes the situation even more excessive.
If you empathize, if she also has a similar behavior with her friends of the opposite sex, hugging someone else's waist, can he accept it?
Without thinking too much, he would have jumped out and blamed her a long time ago.
Mr. Zhang did not see anything wrong with his behaviour and insisted that it was a very normal thing.
He thinks that these people are just friends, and even some are colleagues, and they need to maintain a good relationship, and they happen to be in the same direction, just a free ride.
He thinks it's just a drop by.
Helping others and maintaining relationships is also good for work.
He felt it was a good deal.
This is a society dominated by human feelings, and one day he may need help from others!
As for carrying, safety is the most important, and others hug his waist to ensure safety.
If Zhenzhen also wanted to take a ride, he wouldn't object.
Zhenzhen knew that she couldn't win anything, and he wouldn't admit his mistakes, so he had to say that he would put aside the riding for the time being and talk about other issues.
He sent a red envelope to a friend of the opposite sex, and it was a 520 red envelope, how can this be explained?
520 is not an ordinary number, as we all know, it is a unique number between couples or couples and cannot be easily used on other people.
He used this number to send red envelopes to friends of the opposite sex, which seemed to be ambiguous.
If she just sent an ordinary red envelope, maybe she wouldn't have too many opinions.
The other party accepted such a red envelope, which is obviously without proportion.
If they really didn't have anything, she couldn't believe it.
If someone of the opposite sex sends her a 520 red envelope, she will resolutely refuse, and will seriously tell the other party that this behavior is inappropriate.
If it weren't for the record she stumbled upon on his phone, he would still be in the dark right now!
Mr. Zhang admits that he did send people a red envelope of 520, but in his opinion, 520 is just an ordinary number and has no other special meaning. Different people have different understandings of numbers, and he thinks that 520 is just a number and has no ambiguous meaning. What's more, at that time, everyone drank too much at the party, and everyone was a little drunk, joking, and coaxing red envelopes.
He didn't think it through, so he sent it out, and it just so happened that the friend had helped him before, and it was natural to send a red envelope to express his gratitude. He just pressed a few numbers casually, and he didn't pay much attention to it, it happened to be 520, and he didn't care.
He had long forgotten about this matter, and even if he was asked to recall, he couldn't remember the details at all. If he really cared about it, how could he forget it?
He had nothing to say about her suspicions. Anyway, the two of them are going to divorce, and if they don't explain, it's actually not necessary at all.
The mediator believes that whether they reconcile or separate, he needs to keep a certain distance from the opposite sex and not get too close. Even if he has no other meaning in mind, it is easy to cause unnecessary misunderstandings. If he doesn't care about it, it will be difficult for him to deal with similar problems in the future.
Mr. Zhang nodded his head and agreed with the mediator. In these matters, he will reflect later.
Seeing that her husband still insisted on divorce, Zhenzhen no longer argued with him about his relationship with friends of the opposite sex, but just asked him, why did he want to divorce?Over the years, even if she hasn't made much credit at home, she has also put in a lot of hard work. How could he treat her like this?
The mediator was also confused, why
Mr. Zhang turned his head and she hadn't been to work since she gave birth.
For more than a decade, he has been taking care of his children at home.
He felt that she had clearly not done a good enough job of fulfilling her role as a housewife.
According to common sense, a qualified housewife should be able to do all the housework, from laundry and cooking to mopping the floor.
She didn't even buy vegetables, he had to go to the vegetable market every day after work, and he had to cook for her and the children when he came back.
He often wondered, did he really have a wife?There is no difference between why there is and what is not.
Gradually, he became more and more confused, unclear about what his wife meant to him. Earn money, he earns it alone, and he does housework alone.
Although the male protagonist and the female protagonist are the family division of labor that they agree on, he did achieve the male protagonist and was responsible for earning money to support the family, but she did not fulfill the responsibilities of the female protagonist.
The family responsibilities that should have been taken on by her ended up falling to him alone.
Her life seems to revolve only around children and does nothing else.
Working outside the home is already tiring, and you have to deal with menial household chores when you get home. Although these things may seem trivial, they drain his energy unconsciously.
It is ironic that the people in the vegetable market know him, but they don't know anything about the housewife Zhenzhen.
Zhenzhen explains that it is not her fault that she does not buy groceries!
Since he got married, the money earned by her husband has been completely in his own hands, and he has not given her a penny.
She has no household on hand, and she has to take care of her children, so she can't go out to work, where can she get the money to buy ingredients.
Since he has the money in his hand, of course he will buy it.
She thinks that she has done a good job, her husband does not pay his salary, she does not complain, and spends her life with him with peace of mind.
At home, their division of labor is very clear.
Initially, they discussed at length and finally came to an agreement.
The husband said that she did not need to worry about the household chores at home, because it was not her task, and he was willing to take care of it all. She only needs to focus on taking care of the child, educating the child, assisting the child in Xi, and trying to train the child to become an excellent person, and this is enough.
Although he had said so at the beginning, he had changed his mind and started to find fault with her. Mr. Zhang sighed, and it seemed that communication was hopeless.
She always emphasizes her own efforts, but blames him for the problem, believing that everything should be improvised. Although he admits that he said such things at the beginning, he also thinks that according to the actual situation of the family, how can she really not participate in housework?At the very least, the two should share the responsibility together, rather than leaving him solely responsible.
He felt very tired and thought that the thoughts of the two were not on the same channel, and that continuing to be together would only torture each other, and it was better to be okay with each other. In his opinion, they are just together to make do with their lives, and no matter who leaves, life will go on as it is.
Before their separation, they also communicated very little and basically did not speak. Such a life is not in line with the happy life he wants. He hopes that the family will laugh and laugh, and his wife and children will be filial. His ideal life is to be able to eat a hot meal every day when he comes home, and his wife is caring and considerate, asking if he feels tired after being busy today.
Zhenzhen didn't even do the basic greetings. She said that every day when he came home, she would greet him and ask about his dinner. It was he who didn't want to answer her question, so she didn't say much. Moreover, he should know that the two of them have similar personalities, both are introverted and don't like to talk, and they are not very good at expressing emotions.
Blame her for not being able to provide emotional value, but never think about himself and not giving her emotional support.
Moreover, he didn't dislike her before, and it took more than ten years before he began to complain, apparently because he felt that she had lost her usefulness.
When the child was young, he did not dare to criticize her openly.
When the child was young, she was responsible for eating and bathing.
When the child is sick, she also sleeps all night to take care of her.
Considering that he had to go to work during the day, she did not ask him to take turns taking care of the children, and even advised him to rest early. Taking care of a child is not easy, and he should understand her hard work.
Mr. Zhang sneered and said that no family has children, some families even have three children, and the woman can take care of three children at the same time, and she has not complained about being tired.
For her, just taking care of a child, but complaining about tiredness, obviously her ability is limited.
Moreover, other people can take care of the children and go to work at the same time, she is only responsible for taking care of the children, how can she be embarrassed to say that she is tired?
For children who are sick, he thinks that this is a common problem, and every family will have a time when a child is sick, and it is a matter of course to take care of the child, and there is no need to take it out.
In addition, when the child was sick and went to the hospital, he asked for leave to accompany him and take the child to the hospital with her.
The mediator believes that they have all contributed to the family and there is no need to argue about who pays more.
Mr. Zhang insisted on a divorce, and no amount of persuasion helped.
In fact, although they have been married for fourteen years, they have a weak emotional foundation.
Because, they were married in a flash at the beginning, and they got married in a hurry without knowing enough.
After marriage, problems gradually surfaced.
Frankly, he didn't have much affection for her, and he was just impulsively infatuated with her beauty and got married.
Although beauty is attractive, it cannot be eaten as a meal, and it will depreciate, and he now values character and ability more.
He likes optimistic and cheerful people.
These words made Zhenzhen's heart feel like a knife, and she said sadly that she was attracted by his honest and honest appearance, coupled with his passable appearance, so she agreed to the proposal to get married.
Looking back, she deeply felt that she had made a mistake in her judgment at the beginning, marriage needs to be carefully considered, and a hasty flash marriage is not reliable.
At that time, they had only known each other for two months, and their understanding of him was very limited, only superficial.
In the face of such heartless words from the other party, Zhenzhen no longer held on and reluctantly accepted the proposal for divorce.
As for the children, both parties said that they would fulfill the responsibilities and obligations of their parents, and they would not neglect the children because of the divorce.
Hurried flash marriages are often impulsive.
In pursuit of a happy marriage, it is best to avoid choosing to get married in a hurry.
It is more beneficial for both parties to get married after a deeper understanding and mutual consideration.
No matter which party you are, you should maintain your dedication to your work after marriage, because only financial independence can add confidence to your actions and have the courage to end an unsuitable marriage.