The wisest way to live in the second half of your life is to be polite to outsiders, to be kind to y

Everyone's interpersonal relationships are like a criss-crossing web.

And there are no more than three types of nodes on the Internet: yourself, your family, and outsiders.

Life in the world is nothing more than playing these three types of roles well and mediating in these three types of roles.

Treating different roles with different attitudes and treating others with an appropriate attitude is the premise for keeping this net strong and orderly for a long time.

People live for a lifetime, the most important thing is comfort, and the attitude of treating people and things determines the comfort of life.

The wisest way to live in the second half of your life is: be polite to outsiders, be kind to your family, and be generous to yourself.

Be polite to outsiders

Writer Sanmao once shared one of her experiences in "The Story of the Sahara".

At that time, she and Jose lived in the Sahara Desert, and at first, the door was not always open according to the principle that "gentlemen's friendship is as light as water".

But as the days went by, someone always came looking for her, and her door had to open and close.

And often in the morning, as soon as her door opens, a crowd of women and children pour in, their lifestyles and daily utensils are clearly visible.

As a result, the neighbors began to ask her to borrow things in a steady stream.

My brother said to borrow a light bulb. ”

My mom said, ask for an onion. ”

My dad asked for a bottle of gasoline ......”

And these things are basically gone and there is no return.

Among them, what makes Sanmao even more unbearable is a girl named Guka, who is also the girl who has the best relationship with Sanmao.

One day, Sanmao was going to a drinking party, and when the clothes and jewelry were put on and he was ready to put on his shoes, he found that the leather heels that had been on the shelf were missing.

She scanned around the shoe rack and found a pair of black and dirty pointed-toe desert shoes, which were Guka's shoes.

Sanmao immediately understood what was going on, she ran to Guka's house to ask where her shoes were, and Guka said calmly

"My sister wore it out to play, but now she doesn't. ”

By the time Guka returned the shoes the next day, they had been destroyed to the decorum of shape.

Not only did Guka not realize the mistake, but also thought that Sanmao was making a big fuss.

Sanmao couldn't bear it anymore and had a big quarrel with Guka, and the two had a mustard because of this.

In life, we may have all met such people.

They came without recruiting, didn't know that they had caused trouble to each other, and they didn't ask for themselves, which invisibly caused a gap in their feelings.

Without measure, forcibly interfering, in the name of friendship, committing offense.

In the book Man and Eternity, it is written:

"There are boundaries that cannot be crossed in all interactions, and all troubles and conflicts arise from an unconscious desire to break through them. ”

To strangers, it is respectful and courteous; For friends, it is close and distant.

Always retain three points of politeness, which is the best interpersonal state.

Be kind to your family

I once saw a sentence:

"A good temper outside may just be a tactfulness in the world;

A good mood at home is the cultivation that really goes deep into the bone marrow. ”

Writer Xie Kehui once shared her own story.

For a while, she was extremely emotionally unstable because of her work.

When she was eating at home, she didn't allow her parents to say a word to her, so her parents tried to say as little as possible at the dinner table.

But she was still a little unhappy, so she dropped the bowl and ran into the room, sulking alone.

In order to alleviate her mood, the mother, who usually bargains for three or four cents, bought her 98 pounds of cherries again and again.

But to no avail, she still ignored her parents.

It wasn't until she got through that dark period that she realized her mistake and apologized to her parents.

Her father told her that during that time, her mother often cried at night.

Every time they treat their family members, they are impatient, bored, and cold-hearted, which is a layer of ice and snow on their hearts, which hurts people deeply.

And the greatest kindness to family members is not to bring bad emotions home.

Li Da, a wealthy businessman, was riddled with debts and difficulties during his entrepreneurial period.

In order to pay off his debts as soon as possible, he went out all day to socialize, and this difficult day made him almost collapse.

However, every time he came home late at night, he would take a deep breath at the door, adjust his mood and enter the house.

No matter how bad his mood is outside, he always treats his family calmly and with a smile.

Of course, he eventually survived the difficult period, saw the light of day, and became rich.

Home is an eternal safe haven, and we are always used to being wronged outside and venting our emotions on our family members.

The attitude is as cold as ice, and the words are loaded with guns and sticks, hurting the loved ones.

The most hurtful words are the words of relatives, and the sword from family members is the sharpest ** in the world.

As William Bernard said in the Harvard Family Motto:

"Don't think they won't mind, it's like nailing a nail in a fence, the injury will leave a mark forever. ”

As the so-called "family and everything is prosperous", a group of harmony can make everything go well.

A person's blessing is first of all kindness to his family.

Be atmospheric to yourself

I agree with the saying: "Pleasing yourself is the best reverence for life." ”

We often live for others and forget to be kind to ourselves.

There is such a middle-aged lady in the TV series "Thirty Only".

She was weathered, dressed plainly, and walked into the jewelry store with a grocery bag on her shoulder.

After looking at all the jewelry in the store, she ordered the most expensive set, worth millions.

Before swiping the card, she told the salesperson her story.

It turned out that the 1 million was the divorce compensation given to her by her ex-husband.

She and her ex-husband are self-made, and they have had a hard life in the past and have developed a habit of frugality.

Later, when her career was successful, she still liked to wear cheap clothes and squeeze into the vegetable market to buy vegetables.

Until one day, her husband led a well-maintained woman with a famous brand to her and wanted to divorce her.

Only then did she realize that the money she was reluctant to spend in those years was spent by her husband on others.

Saving food and frugality for decades has not been cherished by the pillow people.

Now that love is gone, and her home is gone, she finally woke up to the fact that loving herself is the first thing.

There are too many such people in life.

They wear clothes bought at a low price, and they are reluctant to change them when they are torn, and they buy famous brands for their children without blinking;

They like to go to small restaurants and eat cheap home-cooked meals, and invite colleagues to eat but always choose high-end restaurants;

They use cheap daily necessities to save money, and they can save money when they give gifts to friends.

They are always accustomed to keeping the best for others and the worst for themselves.

But life did not treat them favorably, but gave them a lot of sadness and white eyes.

Time is rushing, and saving money is important, but don't forget to feel sorry for yourself.

In the book "The Talmud", the secret of Jewish wisdom, there is a saying:

"The height of your life depends on how generous you are to yourself. ”

Spend money for the mind, in exchange for metamorphosis and growth; Spend money on emotions in exchange for a good mood.

For the rest of your life, be kind to yourself and make life a little more comfortable.

Zhu Guangqian said: "The first thing in life is life. ”

After half a life, I suddenly found that our whole life is just to pursue a comfortable lifestyle.

This kind of comfort is hidden in every little thing in our daily life, and it is also hidden in our attitude towards others.

The attitude is small, but the impact is huge.

Dealing with the world, communicating, has its own set of philosophy.

Different attitudes, for different groups of people, are a kind of wisdom and a kind of cultivation.

For the rest of your life, leave the politeness to outsiders, leave the kindness to your family, leave the atmosphere to yourself, treat yourself well, and bring comfort to everyone around you.

May we all weave our own network of interpersonal relationships, live comfortably and calmly in a comfortable rhythm.

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