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Text: Emotional expert Yan Yu Yi Butterfly.
In life, do you often start to think crankily and restless because of other people's unintentional glances and words? Because of a small mistake, he fell into the whirlpool of self-blame and couldn't extricate himself; Or they are easily swayed by their surroundings and depressed for trivial things.
If you always feel this way, it means that you are emotionally sensitive and belong to the "highly sensitive group".
The famous psychologist Imi Lowe said: "Being highly sensitive is an innate trait, not a 'disease'!" ”She has written about her observations over the years in her new book, Your Sensitivity Is Your Talent.
In this book, she combines investigation and research, sharing many tips for dealing with sensitive personalities.
After reading this book, you will realize that the root of much of the suffering is actually in the heart.
Sensitivity is a gift, and a soft person can find his or her own strengths once he learns how to live in harmony with it.
The writer Chekhov once wrote a story about a civil servant who disturbed a general in the front row with a sneeze while at the ** opera.
Although the general said "it's okay", the civil servant felt the indifference in the general's tone and suspected that the general still had a grudge in his heart.
The civil servants apologized to the general one after another, but the general impatiently shouted: "Sit down, I want to listen to the play!" ”
The civil servant turned pale with fright.
In order to make up for his image in the eyes of the general, the civil servant ran to the general's office the next day to apologize.
However, the general angrily shouted and ordered him to get out.
The civil servant returned home in a daze, collapsed to the ground, and died shortly thereafter.
As extreme as the story sounds, it sheds light on the inner journeys of many people in real life.
No matter what happens, the relaxed description of other people's words has become a suspense blockbuster in his heart: "Why did he show me that expression?" Does he hate me? ”
I've been feeling something wrong lately, is something bad going to happen? ”
Should I do this or not? Will I get the desired results after doing it? ”
Forcibly fitting into social interaction does not bring true happiness, but rather leads to inner exhaustion and exhaustion.
Instead of struggling to cater to others, turn your sensitive tentacles to yourself and focus on your own growth and exploration.
Albert Einstein, a world-renowned physicist, was less interested in social activities and relationships, preferring to immerse himself in his own thinking and research.
Although he kept a certain distance from the outside world, his outstanding achievements and outstanding contributions still received widespread recognition and praise.
Relationships and social interactions can sometimes be a drag on self-growth.
When we focus too much on external recognition and praise, we lose inner peace and true growth.
On the contrary, people who are full of hearts do not need to ask outwardly, they are able to find fulfillment and strength from within.
Such people are more focused on their own growth and development rather than relying too much on external affirmation and praise.
Many sensitive people are easily influenced by the emotions of others, and their own emotions are often affected and infected by others.
Your Sensitivity is Your Talent" mentioned in the book "People with strong empathy are good at listening, but they are also easy to fall into the emotional whirlpool of others and become the "emotional trash can" of others.
The result is often that after the other party has finished talking, he has fallen into depression.
This is because they focus too much on the needs and feelings of others and ignore their own.
If a person always neglects his own needs and feelings, then he can become an emotional burden to others throughout his life.
Before we can care for others, we need to be kind to ourselves.
How do you avoid allowing yourself to be "overly empathetic"?
Focus more, immerse less. This in turn makes us more motivated to help others. Establish your own boundaries and allow yourself to "take a step back". You can record your "empathy boundary chart" to identify which boundaries make you uncomfortable. Once the other person crosses the line, you can tell them directly or stay away for a while.
Maintain a sense of boundaries and isolate yourself from the emotions of others to give yourself breathing space.
Learn to take care of yourself and get rid of the empathy dilemma. People who are overly empathetic because they have unprocessed emotions or complexes in their hearts.
When you encounter a similar situation, you will not only experience the emotions of the moment, but also those emotions that have not been dealt with inside.
No matter what emotions and feelings you experience, remind yourself that this is my emotion and that others may be similar to me, but not exactly the same.
I don't need to be responsible for other people's emotions, and no one else needs to take my emotions.
Drawing personal boundaries and enriching one's own strength is an effective way to reduce spiritual internal friction. Psychologist Adler believes that everyone has their own problems, which can only be overcome and solved by themselves.
Highly sensitive people tend to cross the line and worry about things they can't control.
We need to actively filter external information and stimuli, focus on controllable things, and gradually change to reduce internal friction and improve action and sense of achievement.
By establishing boundaries, we can better respond to the uncontrollable and make a positive impact.
"The Courage to Be Hated" says: As long as you don't pay attention to anyone's dynamics, don't speculate on anyone's thoughts, don't imagine something that didn't happen, be simple, dull, and slow, you will find that you are very comfortable.
Your Sensitivity Is Your Talent" mentions that there is an interesting point called the "orchid and dandelion" theory.
This theory stems from the long-term research of educator Thomas Beuys and his team, who have taken an in-depth look at how children grow.
According to their findings, about 80% of children behave like dandelions in the wild, they are not sensitive to the outside world and are able to thrive in a variety of conditions.
However, the remaining 20% of children have an "orchid" trait, they are very sensitive to the external environment and may sometimes show fragile emotions in the face of adversity.
However, it is worth noting that these children with "orchid" traits tend to be extraordinarily gifted and talented.
With the right support and guidance, they have the potential to surpass the seemingly tougher "dandelions" and show higher achievement.
Sensitive is not a pejorative term, on the contrary, it gives highly sensitive people a unique insight.
They can see the extraordinary from the ordinary, and love the arts, such as **, literature and painting.
They are intuitive and creative, like Princess Diana, the former American ** Lincoln, Einstein and others, are all representatives of highly sensitive people.
As the writer Pearl Sai said, true creative thinking often comes from people who are gifted with extraordinary sensitivities.If you have an unusual sensibility, then I want to congratulate you, because you have a talent that most people lack.
Aristotle once said that those who act according to their gifts are most happy.Using our talents can not only make us feel more happy, but also enhance our self-confidence and meet a different version of ourselves.
Your Sensitivity is Your Talent is a masterpiece that provides an in-depth analysis of sensitive character, leading readers to explore self-worth and inner strength.
With her extensive experience and insight, author Emi Lowe helps readers understand the uniqueness of sensitivity and provides tips for living in harmony with sensitive personalities.
This book is not only suitable for highly sensitive people, but also for readers who want to understand their own psychological needs and those of others.
By reading this book, you will gain a new understanding of sensitive personalities, learn how to play to your strengths in a complex world, and live your true self.