I thought that if I grew up to be a cool adult, I would have the freedom of the New Year.
Who knows that when I grow up and celebrate the New Year, I don't have time and space at all.
Helping with child-rearing and housework, and being a good mascot among relatives is the destination.
Female college student
It became an artifact with a baby
Some female college students who went home for the New Year,Unmarried and childless, but already has "postpartum depression".
Source: Sina Weibo
They woke up early in the morning to the spell, "Baby, let's go see if Auntie is up?" "You go to call your aunt to eat" "The baby goes to play with my sister".
The day is spent coaxing the children.
I was exhausted at night, and secretly vowed that I would never be the "child king" again tomorrow. As a result, I was deceived by the big cake and was dizzy - "You are her aunt, she will buy you a big g when she grows up".
can't escape it, but can't earn it, the New Year's holiday finally became a treasure mother experience camp:
She is a beautiful college student at school, and she has become a "mother" when she goes home.
Source: Internet
As a result, the gold content of the graduation profile has risen: 20-year-old unmarried and childless, and has 10 years of experience in raising a baby - now, no one can tell the difference between a female college student and a gold medal confinement wife.
Of course, it's not just college students who suffer.
During the Chinese New Year, aunts, aunts, cousins, cousins. Most of the unmarried women who can go home to reunite are forced to become the "main force with a baby" and start a life of hellish difficulty.
Collectively, they have a new name:
"Dehua. ”
Source: Internet
Dehua is not a male star, but a corner in the high-scoring TV series "Parents' Love", the younger sister of the male protagonist "Jiang Defu" - "Jiang Dehua".
In the play, she is hard-working, diligent and capable, although rude but wittyOne person helped his brother and sister-in-law raise five children, with a kind and simple personality, he has gained a lot of love.
Source: "Parents' Love".
People used to have fun, but now they look in the mirror.
Returning home for the Chinese New Year is equivalent to Dehua's post.
It was the sister-in-law who gave birth to the baby, and it was Dehua who was depressed" became a bitter secret word.
Fragments of "Parental Love" were salvaged.
In the play, my brother and sister-in-law kept giving birth to babies, and Dehua shouted out his heart for all those who were "forced to be mothers":"You're still not letting people live! I'm tired of it! ”
Source: "Parents' Love".
"Dehua" has not only become a noun, but also developed into a "profession".
Some college students took this opportunity to earn their first pot of gold: "Although I don't want to take a baby, they really give too much. ”
Source: Sina Weibo
College students have found the code to get rich.
And the child's parents are also happy about this, after all, "Dehua is more cost-effective than nannies".
Source: Sina Weibo
It seems to be a win-win situation, with one side contributing money and one side contributing, each taking what it needs. The world has become a huge nursery, and the whole network is playing "Dehua Terrier".
But her sister took this opportunity to talk about it, which was drowned in Douban 92 points of praise and a lot of hustle and bustle in the -
The real Dehua.
Everybody's in Quadwar
But no one wants to be her
Dehua in the play is hard-working, and most of the audience commented——
With a lifetime of children, I have reaped the greatest happiness", "the best aunt in the world", "the most kind and simple".
But her sister watched this drama back, but she was not moved at all.
If you take Dehua's perspective, you will find how vicious this character and what happened to her are.
Dehua's life is a hellish difficulty at the beginning.
Source: "Parents' Love".
He lost his mother at birth and was widowed after marriage.
There is no news of her husband going to be a soldier, and the people in the village still ridicule her, and even her mother-in-law bullies her.
When Dehua finally escaped from the countryside, it seemed that he had changed his life, but first he changed his name.
In her brother and sister-in-law's house, her living habits were too sloppy, her language style was too vulgar, and even her real name "Dehua" was not looked down upon.
Source: "Parents' Love".
She easily lost her name and became a non-stop toiling machine.
At his best years, Teckwah did the work of others for several lifetimes.
With children. From one, to the second, to the third, to the fourth, to the fifth.
Source: "Parents' Love".
Wash diapers, hold children, "milk" children, put them to sleep, and play with them.
Other people's five babies, she took them from babies to teenagers until she watched the doll in her arms go out of her hometown.
Outside of childcare time, I am also busy all the time.
The kitchen is her space, year after year, day after day, changing patterns to feed the few mouths in the house.
Source: "Parents' Love".
It was her duty to be clean, to wipe down the furniture, to tidy up the house, to wash a lot of clothes.
Source: "Parents' Love".
When the children grew up one by one, the Jiang family no longer needed her so much, and Dehua had his own marriage.
But her marriage is also "licked" and disliked.
Lao Ding didn't look down on her, but he enjoyed her dedication with peace of mind, Dehua didn't know his wife's name, but he suffered from his wife and worked hard for the Ding family's housework for several years.
Source: "Parents' Love".
Lao Ding couldn't find another wife, and finally half compromised and half impulsively agreed to the marriage.
But who would have thought that on the day of the wedding,The snail girl finally got her husband's approval, the man who disliked her, his attitude changed greatly and he was overjoyed.
It's just because she's still a **.
Source: "Parents' Love".
So, Dehua finally became a stepmother to four sons, gave birth to a daughter, and grew old while taking care of three grandchildren.
In his lifetime, he raised ten children.
The first half of his life was the Jiang family, and the second half of his life was the Ding family.
But in the end, she has no name and no home of her own.
After Lao Ding died, everyone said that he should be buried with the original partner who was married by Ming Media, and there was no part of Dehua.
After several twists and turns, the cemetery was changed to a "family of three".
The sons are not biological, the daughter will eventually get married, and in the end she returned to her brother and sister-in-law and waited for the end of her life.
Source: "Parents' Love".
Looking back now, I find that the "good woman" on this monument has been only altruistic all her life.
Happiness is built on the exploitation of others, and it exists only to fulfill the love and reputation of my brother and sister-in-lawThe marriage with Lao Ding also seems to be a forced match for literature - he is still a feudal man with a ** complex.
How cruel. Why did the screenwriter and director create such an unreasonable, detached from human nature, suffering but happy woman?
Because there is no Dehua in Nakamoto.
In the original world without Dehua, all those labors were undertaken by An Jie alone.
Source: "Parents' Love".
In other words, Dehua, the equivalent of An Jie's cow and horse clone, is her tired version of her personality.
And this is also the reason why the romantic narrative of "parental love" can be established.
The so-called love, falling into life, cannot escape the wear and tear of housework, childcare, firewood, rice, oil and salt.
And the truth is that often those good marriages that are envied, romantic love that is still fresh in the marriage grave
The essence of it all involves the transfer or sharing of reproductive labor such as childcare, housework, and caregiving.
It is not only Dehua who suffers
Female college students are tormented by parenting and are so sad that they can't afford to hire a nanny, but it's that Dehua who goes home for the New Year is more cost-effective.
Source: Douyin.
Zhen Dehua in "Parents' Love" has been squeezed of labor value for most of his life, and he is even more cruel.
You see, my mother has always been fully engaged in the work that most people take for grantedIt is so onerous and unreasonable to fall on someone who is "not a mother".
Source: Douyin.
In addition, we can see that most of the tasks such as housework and childcare are transferred only within women.
From the mother's hands, to the sister, sister, aunt, aunt. Hands.
Source: "Parents' Love".
And when it comes to the time to welcome the New Year, Dehua and the baby are only the tip of the iceberg, and it is not only this group of college students who suffer.
Labor will come to everyone randomly.
The same goes for workers.
You think that after a year of work, you can finally have a relaxing holiday, and when you get home, you know that it is another kind of disaster.
It is said that it is a legal holiday, and there is no idle day.
Mom and Dad are like NPCs in the game, and new quests will be triggered as soon as you get close.
Purchasing, dishwashing, storage, cleaning. The chores are never done.
Source: Internet
During this time, as a child, I relied on housework to maintain my precious family relationship with my parents.
Source: Douyin.
After a few days, it will be difficult to maintain basic decency even for housework.
Far fragrant and near smelly", this truth about the Chinese parent-child relationship, you and I will taste it again and again in addition to labor.
Source: Douyin.
After Chinese New Year's Eve, going to a different relative's house every day to pay New Year's greetings begins another kind of spiritual labor.
Rack your brains to say a basket of auspicious words, and maintain emotional stability when dealing with fancy cross-examinations by relatives.
I used to think that if I grew up to be a cool adult, I would have the freedom to celebrate the New Year, I wouldn't be embarrassed by my relatives, and I didn't have to be instructed to work anymore.
Source: Douyin.
Who knows that when I grow up for the New Year, I have my own time and my own space, and there is no one at all.
Helping with child-rearing and housework, and being a good mascot among relatives is the destination.
Source: Internet
The body and spirit are all working, and the Chinese New Year is really more tiring than going to work.
It is foreseeable that after fighting like this for a few days, all the housework that should be done has been done, the relatives who should have been seen have been met, and the large bags and small bags of luggage have to be dragged and hurriedly embarked on the way back.
And the years that I have been looking forward to for a long time have passed like this.
When I woke up in the morning, my eyes were full of children, source: Internet.
In the past few years, we have been complaining that the taste of the New Year is getting weaker and weaker, and the New Year is not like before.
I can't sleep satisfactorily, I can't have fun, and the more I rest, the more tired I get.
However, we also know that those who want to go home will still go home without hesitation.
According to official estimates, the number of people traveling for the Spring Festival this year will reach 9 billion, which may hit a record high.
Source: Weibo
The heavy snowfall and freezing rain in the south, the suspension of trains and the delay of high-speed rail did not stop everyone from going.
Going home for the Chinese New Year is still an obsession in the hearts of many people.
At the same time, we also know that every Chinese New Year, the ordinary and extraordinary lights of thousands of homes that strangers yearn for are lit up by labor that is difficult to see and measure.
Therefore, when college students are seen with their babies, when Dehua is seen, and when more heavy labor is seen during the Chinese New Year, it is actually a good thing.
Source: "Family with Children".
Maybe from this moment of seeing, you and I can become a part of the labor and lighting the lights in the next step.
During the Chinese New Year, the family holds hands and goes to the next journey together for a new beginning.
May the new year be better than the old one.
May you meet all the best in the new year with the people you love the most.