Do you still remember the girl Zou Yaqi who was on the hot search in Beijing by pretending to be a celebrity for 21 days?
If "Instant Ownership" allowed her to make a small appearance, then this time "Heavy Money Seeking Mother" is more like a tide after becoming famous.
via.Zou Yaqi social**.
"The daily salary is 3,000 yuan, and the perfect mother is hired", the boo is so big that you look crazy.
Sure enough, as soon as the topic came out, the whole network exploded.
People don't actively care about the delicate and sensitive nature of art, they only question that girls are fighting for fame in the way they use it as a show, and the so-called mothers are just actors who are invited to cooperate with the acting.
In their eyes, the world is a huge grass platform, and this social experiment is the biggest "conspiracy" to earn traffic.
However, we don't want to dig into the creative purpose of young artists, but the topic itself is really worth it.
——The mother-daughter relationship has always been the most secret lightning point for East Asian women, and it is about to explode at the first touch.
I can't ask for a mother with a lot of money
Mother is different from other characters in the popular perception.
It is more like a vocation with its own sacred meaning, which is natural and irreplaceable.
Why find someone to play mom? ”
With this sense of separation, trying to find that explanation on Zou Yaqi's personal social platform is not unexpected.
24-year-old Zou Yaqi was born in a typical East Asian family
The father is the "center of power" in the family, and the mother is beautiful and virtuous but lives by attachment; There is a younger brother who is 10 years younger than himself and is favored.,The one who is always ignored.。
via.Zou Yaqi social**.
When I was in kindergarten and a little boy fought, my mother would stand on each other's side;
After the younger brother was born, the nickname of the mother's social platform was changed to "younger brother's name + mother", and he watched his ownership being divided like an outsider but could not do anything;
The younger brother owned his own piano at the age of four or five, and the guitar he taught himself was secretly bought by himself with New Year's money when he was a child.
Zou Yaqi is so eager to get a stronger maternal love, she chose the perfect mother among nearly 400 resumes from 20,000 private messages.
But when she got along with her first mother, Zou Yaqi may not have figured out what she wanted to get out of this experiment.
She would kneel on the ground and arrange the skirt of her mother, who was 5 years younger than herself, trying to exchange flattery for maternal love.
via.Zou Yaqi social**.
Maybe Zou Yaqi didn't realize that she didn't know how to love, and she had long been disciplined by the role of a daughter in the traditional sense.
After that, she just wanted to try to do things in front of her fake mother that she would never dare to do in front of her own mother.
For example, show your own femininity
Because he was questioned and suppressed by his mother since he was a child, he has long learned to hide himself in a fat and ugly school uniform, and he will deliberately lower his voice to make his voice rough.
This time, Zou Yaqi changed into a ** bikini, posed ** to show her curves, and asked her mother to help take pictures.
via."Heavy Money for Mother".
also designed a bold part of revealing **, she took off her clothes one by one in front of the fake mother and introduced her mature body.
She looked through the *** head on the fake mother's head, and imagined a conversation with her own mother:
This should be the first time you've met me as an adult woman, so you must be very unfamiliar. ”
I don't belong to you, my youth is not exchanged for your youth, and I don't owe you. ”
Mom, don't be afraid, and I won't feel guilty anymore. I hate your mother, but I love you too. ”
via.Zou Yaqi social**.
For another example, let go of the well-behaved image and use "dirty words" to express -
Now scolding people love to use their organs to scold people. ”
Why is everyone scolding xxx, the mouth and it are all one kind of organ. ”
Zou Yaqi and the third mother designed a small swear talk, which did not usher in the condescending accusations of the fake mother.
On the contrary, he will not only talk about "swearing" with his daughter, but also share his love details with his daughter frankly.
via.Zou Yaqi social**.
This is taboo in the traditional mother-daughter relationship.
I always thought that Zou Yaqi wanted to find another mother's love model, but after watching **, she came out, what she wanted was to try to find her own mother's understanding and answer from the fake mother.
Unfortunately, she didn't find it.
After filming the relationship with the four mothers, Zou Yaqi temporarily stopped, and she wanted to find her own mother when she reached the seventh mother.
But Zou Yaqi flinched a little, she hadn't thought it through yet, and she didn't want to hurt her.
Caption: What the second mother wanted to say to Zou Yaqi's mother.
What's more, Zou Yaqi and her mother have long been cut off.
After filming the second mother, Zou Yaqi showed her mother a clip of "** monologue".
The mother seemed to be frightened, and her first reaction was "you can't show it to your relatives", repeating repeatedly the words "how others think of you when they see it", and as for those heart-to-heart monologues, there is no response.
It's going to be coded, Mom. ”
But her sister understands Zou Yaqi's mother's reaction, and most mothers must be like this, just like this message in the comment area:
Source: The comment area of station b
"Perfect mothers" only need to love their daughter's "flash", but what mothers need to accept and even be responsible for is their daughter's "bad".
But the mother-daughter relationship in East Asia is like this, it is divided and twisted, and if there is something to say, it will not be good to say, and both parties have to show their love with a layer of hard mouths.
We have lived in this shadow since we were children, subject to discipline from our mothers and society, trapped in a cage called our daughters, and dare not go out of line.
Rebellion, born of repression.
In the name of love
In the secular definition, a mother is a dominant and superior character.
Some time ago, a paragraph **:
A 14-year-old girl made a table of lunch, called her mother to eat, but was beaten down.
Is it to praise you? You and I cook so many dishes, how can we eat them? ”
I don't know for what purpose, my mother posted ** on the Internet, and was judged by netizens like a storm.
The next day, the mother went to ask her daughter again: "Many people on the Internet say that my mother is not good and say that I am not worthy, do you think I am worthy of being your mother?" ”
I asked again and again, until I got a positive answer from my daughter.
Source: Sohu News Weibo
This ** is suffocating to watch, the daughter is full of joy and just waiting to be counted, and the only pleasure of manipulation in the name of love is infinitely magnified in the deformed state of getting along.
What's even more terrifying is that there is no shortage of such suffocating cases on social platforms.
Someone brought a bouquet of flowers home on Mother's Day, and all they got was a "not practical" grievance;
Some people were deliberately ugly by their mothers when they were students, because the mother was worried that her daughter would be entangled with the boy and fell in love;
Even a preset word "love you" in a children's watch will make the mother nervous and like a great enemy.
Source: Zhihu
But this kind of narrative is too extreme. The delicate mother-daughter relationship in more East Asian families will be hidden in more delicate and ordinary corners.
When you were young, you were always taught to be well-behaved and obedient, to keep your nails very short, and to meticulously pull your hair behind your head, otherwise you would be out of line;
When you put on a beautiful hair ornament and go out, you will receive a half-joking tone from your mother questioning whether it is early love;
When studying in the house, my mother never knocked on the door and broke in, never closed the door when she went out, and walked outside the house from time to time.
They will even look through your bag and journal when you are not at home.
Once you resist, you will unsurprisingly get the answers of "for your good" and "love you, worry about you".
via.Douyin netizens.
It seems that the identity of mothers allows them to intervene in any corner of their children's lives as a matter of course.
When I was a child, I always thought that "it would be good to grow up", but when I grew up, I ushered in an endless cycle of "no matter how old I am, I am a child".
Later, when you finally grew up and ran away from home, your mother came to your rental house to see you, from pots and pans to a random ornament, she didn't like you and wanted to take care of you.
via.Xiaohongshu netizens
Is it an exaggeration? But this is really not the state of a mother and daughter getting along, it is almost a portrayal of East Asian mother and daughter.
This incident is so insignificant that before he can explain it clearly to his mother, this matter will "pass".
Mothers are always good at using the concept of "mother and daughter" to blur the boundaries of privacy, and those wrapped motherhood rights are often soft and harmless.
This kind of sting is insignificant but protracted, and will eventually become a scar on the heart, ugly, distorted, and quietly eating away at your relationship with your mother.
It's not that East Asian girls haven't thought about getting rid of this kinship control that is always in the name of love, it's not that they don't want to, but they can't.
via.Xiaohongshu netizens
There is such a complaint on the Internet, netizens said that they have been strictly controlled by their mother since they were young.
I'm 27 years old this year, and I still remember when I was out of junior high school, my friends and I walked in front of us, and I looked back and found my mother following me from afar, I was like an object being controlled, and a series of emotions of shame, anger, and helplessness entangled me. ”
Because she is afraid that the malice that may exist in this world will cause her daughter to be hurt even the slightest, the netizen's mother will search for all clues about her daughter like Sherlock Holmes, and even follow her to and from school.
Netizens tried to push their mother away with a tantrum and thought they would get a moment of respite, but in fact, a little relief would be overwhelmed by her tears and self-guilt.
I knew that her purpose must be for my good, and as a woman, she understood the situation too well, so she could only treat us in this almost torturous way, and plunge our relationship into the ice cellar with her fragile nerves. ”
I have also thought about reconciling with my mother countless times, telling my mother in an adult way that I have the ability to protect myself.
But in her mother's voice, "No matter how old you are, you are my child", she dispelled this idea countless times.
Caption: Chizuruko Ueno talks about the relationship between mother and daughter
As Chizuruko Ueno once said when talking about her mother in the book: I have always wanted to try a conversation between women and women, not mothers and daughters, but I never had the opportunity.
Contemporary women dare to challenge all power.
But only in the face of the control of maternal love, this sharp knife wrapped in soft love, will you be powerless to fall into the emotional kidnapping in the name of love, unable to resist.
Mutual grievances
Chizuruko Ueno wrote in "Beginning with the Limit": The daughter is the mother's fiercest critic and the most fanatical advocate.
Healthy mother-daughter relationships are an issue that East Asian women need to solve throughout their lives.
In Zhihu, a netizen asked "How can I have a mother-daughter relationship that doesn't bother me", she said, "The most common thing a mother says is 'not worthy of being her daughter'." ”
via.Zhihu
Mothers don't know how to express it, let alone how to love, and if they don't pay attention, they will distort their love into control and suppression, so East Asian women have never been able to find a way to get along with their mothers in a healthy way.
So in this intergenerational cycle, they fail to learn how to love, whether it is for their mothers, their daughters, or for themselves.
Almost every adult East Asian girl tries to inspire her mother with new ideas, instilling in her the idea of "don't give up your life for me" again and again.
But mothers have never been able to give up self-sacrifice and be willing to suffer.
Stories can be seen everywhere on the Internet, all of which tell the story of a mother's dedication:
I accidentally saw my mother's shopping records, and my mother bought herself 50 sanitary napkins for 6 yuan 5. ”
When I was with my mother, I saw that my mother's meal was fermented with bean curd mixed with noodles, and then I couldn't hold back when I looked at my fancy rice. ”
I chatted with my mom before, and she casually said that she didn't divorce my dad because she wanted me to have a complete home, and I have always been haunted by it. ”
After graduation travel, I shared with my mother what she took on the plane, and she would suddenly say, "You are chic, we are living hard days", and instantly extinguished her enthusiasm into guilt. ”
Send a movie ticket to my mother, and what I get is my dad's unloading **.
via.Xiaohongshu netizens
This may be the suffering education of East Asian mothers, but they don't realize that this kind of goodness that is almost self-giving is a grievance, a debt, and another form of demand in the eyes of their daughters.
Therefore, the last thing that daughters can see is that their mothers are wronged because of themselves, because it will inevitably see a projection in their mothers.
This projection can be summed up in the words that most East Asian women who are widely circulated on the Internet will feel physiologically uncomfortable after watching it:
The three things I am most afraid of in my life are that I am afraid of marrying a man like my father, I am afraid of becoming a woman like my mother, and I am afraid that my children will live a life like themselves. ”
Under the fear and suffocation brought by the projection, it is difficult to achieve the separation of the subject The daughters choose to use their grievances to fight against their mother's grievances.
As a result, "not talking about love, only complaining about grievances" has become the biggest mode for mothers and daughters to get along in contemporary society.
For example, the "Mother Literature" that has become popular on the Internet during this time: "Mom, it's really hard to make money" and "Mom, is life so hard?" "Mom, we're like two windows in one room, I open mine and you close yours. ”
The daughters tried to offset the guilt with the same grievances, but this outburst of emotions only allowed her sister to see a sad truth, whether it was a mother or a daughter, two generations of women seemed to be suffering.
Mother and daughter, the closest people in the world, were pushed to the farthest distance by different surnames, and the light of suffering and fate formed the intertextuality of the times.
Source: Sina Weibo
In fact, in a patriarchal society, the roles of mothers and daughters have long been prescribed. Motherhood is synonymous with giving, and daughters should be born well-behaved.
Women's every move is shrouded and judged by an invisible framework, and the mother-daughter relationship that complains about each other's grievances is actually an aftermath of the patriarchal background.
East Asian women are fully capable of breaking free from the constraints of prescribed functions and getting along with each other in a different way. Maybe then there will be a more harmonious solution to the problem of mother-daughter relationship.
via.Zou Yaqi social**.
I am waiting, may we all be daughters and mothers in a non-patriarchal manner.
"None of our lives should be so heavy. ”