When it comes to winter vacation, parents are particularly prone to anxiety. It's not that the child doesn't do his homework, or he holds his mobile phone and plays non-stop, urging him again and again, only to get the child a sentence: wait a while.
I never thought that it would be a few hours to wait for a while, so that my parents couldn't help but start the "Hedong Lion Roar".
Why can other people's babies get up early and go to bed early, study self-discipline, and reasonably arrange their holiday time, why can't they get to their own babies?
Many parents said helplessly: It's not that I don't want to have a good relationship with my child, the child is too annoying, too disagreeable, I really can't help it.
I can understand the crazy feelings of parents, because my children are also the same playful children, but I get along well with my children this winter vacation, and the reason why I can get along harmoniously with my children is because I followed these three sentences:
Emotionally stable parents are the prerequisite for getting along well with their children.
The reason why many parents and children are jumping is because the parents' emotions collapsed first, either angry or reprimanded.
This winter vacation, I did not have quarrels and conflicts with my child, not because of how self-disciplined my child was, but because I adjusted my emotions in time.
For example, if I don't get up in the morning, I don't get angry or noisy, but I just push him every 20 minutes and ask softly: Do you want to get up? The first three or four times, the child will generally say, "Wait a minute."
Anyway, when you can't afford to scream, don't get angry, call a few more times, and another point is "just ask if you want to get up", and don't say anything else.
In the same way, this kind of emotional control also applies when the child is not doing homework. One of the key points is that parents are only responsible for reminding, but not nagging, let alone getting angry or breaking out into a "war".
A harmonious parent-child relationship is the first step to motivating children.
Children can feel the care and care of parents for their children. The most important thing is to exchange patience and tolerance for children's gratitude and understanding, so that the parent-child relationship is a virtuous upward cycle.
Parents have a very interesting stereotyped thinking: children are good at other people's families.
When I look at my own children, I always stare at the shortcomings of the child's lack of learning, self-discipline, and hard work, but automatically ignore the shining points of the child.
In fact, every child has their own shining point. If you compare the child's shortcomings with the strengths of other children, you will be psychologically unbalanced, and then unconsciously project your resentment onto the child, so you will have a strong idea of "hating iron is not steel".
Only by looking at children with an appreciative eye can we see more advantages in children.
At this time, children will not only feel the affirmation of their parents, but also increase their self-motivation and self-confidence.
You know, there are no children who don't want to be better, but they just lack affirmation, and simply run away and mess up.
Children, like adults, need to be appreciated, affirmed, and respected.
Parents who know how to respect and appreciate their children will also become better and more transparent.
People tend to turn a blind eye to the good around them, and miss the good things of others.
Especially parents have high requirements for their children because they love them deeply. As a result, many times parents only see the shortcomings in their children, only focus on academic performance, and only focus on how much homework is written? How much did you read?
It is only when the child is not doing well, but not when the child is doing well.
This kind of selective neglect will also make the child slowly become silent, estranged from his parents, and unwilling to speak out when he has something in his heart.
It's not that the child is unwilling to confide, but after speaking out, not only is he not recognized, but he is either facing the preaching of his parents or accusations, and he does not empathize with the child at all, let alone empathize with the child.
In the final analysis, it is still the parents' desire to "hope that their son will become a dragon" or "hope that their daughter will become a phoenix" is too strong, and when they are too anxious, they can only see the child's shortcomings and selectively ignore the child's excellence.
Sometimes, a look of approval or affirmation from a parent will give a child great encouragement and warmth.
When parents control their emotions and treat their children with appreciation and encouragement, they can become good teachers and helpful friends for their children, and children can slowly move from negativity to self-motivation.