"The so-called parents are the people who are constantly happy and sad at the back, and want to hug back but dare not say anything. ”
Everyone is like a lonely traveler, carrying the life given by their parents, slowly moving forward in the journey of life. There are countless moving chapters woven between him and his parents. "Dear Andre" delicately shows the deep love between mother and son through the letters between Lung Yingtai and his eldest son. The value of this book lies precisely in the fact that it subverts the traditional respectful and orderly, confined education and parental communication model in Chinese families. Its words are like a beacon that illuminates my innermost emotions and resonates with me, which is why I am so attracted to them.
It made me think about my own parents, and it was also a benchmark for what I would do as a parent in the future.
The book deals with a lot of ideas, such as Andrei's belief that education in Germany is related to his own country, and that many teenagers are addicted to drugs and alcohol. This is rarely the case in China. Ms. Lung Yingtai believes that this educational difference is not caused by the country, but by the parents' perception of free-range. The root cause is that the German people do not have as high expectations for their offspring as their Chinese parents.
These profound questions, at first glance, may seem alien to the relaxed atmosphere of homely letters, but the opposite is true. In his letter to Andrei, Long Yingtai did not treat him as a "baby" who needed to be cared for, but as an independent thinking and in-depth individual. She not only cares about Andrei's daily life, but also delves into his inner world and explores his unique insights into life and the world. Such in-depth communication made the emotional bond between mother and son stronger, and at the same time, Andre felt his mother's respect and trust in him.
On the other hand, in the families around me, most parents will manipulate their children with one hand. The school from elementary school to university, the adult love partner, when you get married, and even when you have children, you may be controlled by your parents, and even manipulated. "I wanted to cry, but I didn't have tears. I wanted to escape, but I didn't have feet. I wanted to roar, but I didn't have a voice. André describes this as a way we get along as a family.
In the process of this kind of interaction, the child will subtly treat his own children in the future. Parents will say that their children are rebellious! My own children don't study well! My own children are not as good as the children next door! However, parents also need to think about whether they are controlling themselves too much, and whether they are restraining their children too tightly. Children are first-time children, and parents are first-time parents. Be considerate of each other and don't embarrass each other too much.
Andrei wrote in the letter: "The so-called home is a place where you can be lazy, dizzy, crazy and relaxed. "This is also a kind of expectation I have for my family.
This book can't just be boring education, but also some meaningful and thought-provoking stories about their mother-son lives. Lung Ying-tai was a university professor at the University of Hong Kong, a prestigious Asian university at the time. Both the mother and the child are highly educated people, and from their letters, I feel that Andre has three points of cynicism, two points of black humor, and five points of seriousness; The mother has eight points of seriousness and two parts of intellectual skepticism. The son laughed at his mother, and the mother studied her son seriously.
This book contains a lot of things, not stereotypical dogmatism, not everyday boring conversations, and not the simple pampering of mothers. "I'm afraid that every generation of young people is much more complex and profound than their parents imagined. Adults are locked in their own habitual thinking and have the power to set the rules of the game, so they are too easily self-righteous. ”
I see when an independent child, with his own thoughts, with his own freedom. The mother is a friendly mother and a mother who enlightens her children, not to solve problems for her children immediately, but to prompt Andre to let him discover and grow by himself. With wisdom and patience, she guides the child to move forward steadily on the road of life. She never imposes her will on her children, but encourages them to develop freely and pursue their dreams. She knows that children's lives are their own, and they need to explore, experience, and grow on their own.
She is the mother of every child and a role model for every mother.