Text|Zhu Shenyong.
Many customers are at a loss in the face of their husbands engaging in extramarital affairs:
"My husband is deviant, as soon as I mention his deviance, he ignores me, the oil and salt don't enter, I really can't do anything about him, I don't know what to do. ”His purpose in doing this is very clear, which is to bring you to your knees, to extend his anger, to express his displeasure, to release his hatred.
He can neither get love nor feel love from you, but he feels full of love from San'er, feels youthful vitality, and dead wood is spring.
You let him break up, you let him fall out of love, you make him lose the joy of life, and he also wants to make you feel this pain and make you submit to him.
In the face of your husband's face, how can you win back this game?
My husband ignores you, what is he thinking?
That's what he ignores you for:
"I can't solve this problem, I'm going to work against you, I want you to obey me, I want you to change. ”You have to tell him:
"You are cold, you don't want to end the marriage, but you also don't want to solve the problem, confront me, make me submit, and acquiesce to your threesome. ”If you speak your husband's heart, he will feel that you understand and he is willing to speak.
You still don't want to pay attention to you after speaking, he thinks that you are just complaining, and will not take practical action against him, you have to continue to talk to him:
"You are cold, you are trying to force me to give up my property, you want to make me feel hopeless in my marriage, and make me take the initiative to file for divorce. ”How to get him to take the initiative to end the Cold War?
Let him take the initiative to end the Cold War, you have to show him how serious the consequences of the Cold War really are, and you have to make him realize that the consequences of the Cold War far outweigh the benefits.
"Your cold war, in fact, you want me to stop interacting with you, maintain this zombie marriage, maintain the shell of this marriage. ”Your husband's Cold War will have consequences, you will have consequences, your children will have consequences, and your family system will have consequences, and you will have to tell your husband all these consequences.
Clause. 1. Tell your husband that you are in the cold war now.
You have to make it clear to your husband that the current state of your relationship between husband and wife is in a state of cold war.
You have to tell him:
"Husband, you're in a cold war with me. ”You tell him bluntly, don't talk so much nonsense.Husband, we are in a state of cold war between husband and wife. ”
Clause. Second, you have to talk to him about the consequences of the continued Cold War.
Husband, you have a cold war with me, and now you can win me, and when you develop the habit of cold war, it will be too late. “
You are cold, you are also very depressed, you are under a lot of pressure, and when you face me, you don't know what to do. ”
If you internalize all the negative energy of confrontation to yourself, you will lose your temper and even your blood vessels will become clogged. ”
It may have a cerebral infarction, and as soon as you lose your temper, these may blow up. ”
Clause. 3. You have to tell him about the impact of the Cold War on you.
I will despair of you, I will be disappointed in the marriage, even I don't want this marriage, I feel cold-hearted, it doesn't matter anything. ”
I will also feel incompetent and helpless, I will also think of a new way out, I will wonder if I want to deviate? Am I going to end my marriage? ”
In the future, if you get divorced and marry a new wife, you will also use the Cold War model, because you have benefited from the Cold War. ”
Clause. Fourth, you should also talk to him about the consequences of the Cold War on your child.
Our child is in your cold war, he will always worry about whether his parents will blow up all at once, and he will become a little adult to help us thread the needle. ”
He begins to suppress himself, and he will be anxious about whether our marriage will end. ”
He will feel cold, he will feel lonely, he will feel loveless, he will yearn for someone else's family. ”
Children who grew up in Cold War families often fall in love very early, because there is no love between their parents, and the parents are frozen, frozen, cold, and biting. ”
A large number of children who are in early love, in fact, they are not going to fall in love, but looking for psychological warmth and attention.
Children of Cold War families often learn the Cold War pattern, which is an innate acquisition, a subtle acquisition.
He felt the warmth of home, so that he would not continue the cold war.
You have to agree with him partially, you have to agree with his point of view, you have to agree with his feelings. Turn off his defenses and lower his attack on you.
He said you were too strong, and you replied to him:
"Husband, when you say that, I really feel a little strong, I'm really strong in so-and-so, I want you to obey a lot, right? ”He puts the fault of the deviance on you :
"If it weren't for you, would I have gone off the rails? ”You have to identify with him, including his hurt, you say
"Husband, the driving force for your deviance is really that there is something wrong with the model between our husband and wife, so you go outside to have an extramarital affair, you actually want to take a breath, right? ”If you agree with him, it doesn't mean that you did something wrong, because you did it unintentionally, what is wrong, you do it, change to a man, he may not have this reaction.
You don't have to apologize, you don't have to admit your mistakes, don't say that I will change, don't say that I will correct, but if you always have to tell him to correct and admit your mistakes, the problem will be very serious.
If you partially agree with it, you won't blame him for his mistakes.
Stop the cold war with a hot war.
To sum up, he is cold, he is silent, he lies in that place, ignores you, speaks coldly, ignores you.
He's in a cold war with you, what are you supposed to do? One is cold and the other is hot, you are hot with him, you are hot, and he knows that his cold is useless.
You have to fight hot, disturb him, make him jump up and down.
The hot war is not one crying, two troubles, three hangings, four going back to the mother's house and five forcing divorce, no, the hot war lies in a hot war.
Heat is called enthusiasm, love, warmth, war is fighting, all kinds of fighting, never stopping, never tolerated.
Wonderful recommendation:
Husband and wife are getting colder and colder, it's not that they don't love each other.
Deviant men often use this sentence to hit their wives and teach you to fight back.
Before a marriage breaks down completely, there will be these 4 signs.