The original intention of life is never to be alone, on the contrary, every life desires to live itself and be loved in relationships.
In recent years, I often feel that the passage between my heart and the outside world is dark, and I can't hear my own heart, so my heart is suffocated, my face is numb, and my body is stiff.
I started reading books about spiritual growth, hoping that they would solve my problems.
Wu Zhihong's "Have a Life in Your Hands" is by far the most accessible book on psychology I have read. It doesn't have a lot of abstract truths, nor does it have a lot of "how do you want to be", it is like an experienced old man, telling the story, so that you can see yourself and understand yourself in one story after another.
For example, the author talks about one such case in the book:
There is a young man who has not been able to get along with the same sex since he was a child, and even a little annoying and hating. He was very puzzled by this? Later, in the process of consulting with the author, he found that when he was a child, his father beat and scolded him, trying to control him, and as long as his father did not go well at work or in life, he would become his father's punching bag, but he had a very good relationship with his mother, so he also handled the relationship with the opposite sex well when he grew up.
Actually, seeing this, maybe everyone can understand a little. The relationship that a person establishes with the person who raised him in the first place, internalized deep inside, forms the person's character. Character is formed in childhood, and it affects the fate of a person's life.
On the other hand, in childhood, my father was short-tempered, my mother was hardworking and capable, and she was also a person who often complained. The house is often filled with gunsmoke, and I desperately try to be "sensible". Therefore, since I was a child, I have been praised the most for being "sensible".
I also remember that I once hoped that my parents would stop arguing under the bright moon, and I once wrote on a small note, "I doubt that I am not their child, because they only care about quarrelling, but no one cares about me".
Growing up like this, I was really sensible, but I also became more and more invisible to myself; It doesn't seem to be close to anyone, and even to his own children will feel as if they are separated by something; No matter how lively the environment is, I still feel that my heart is cold and lonely.
In the process of reading this book, I often put down the book, take a pen to write my own story, and look at my heart. After reading this book, it seems that there is a slight crack in the channel between my heart and the outside world, and light gradually penetrates.
Now, I understand:
Good relationships nourish you, and bad relationships wear you down. There is no such thing as a simple life. If a person wants to find himself and discover himself, he must actively establish a relationship with the world, and only in the relationship can we touch the most authentic self and then reinvent ourselves. It is never the outside world that makes you afraid, because fear is only the result of your inner projection into the outside world. Don't worry that you're a narcissistic person who shows his claws to the world from time to time, that's human nature. You have to live as yourself, even if you are an unhonorable person. Love someone with dedication, do one thing with dedication, and happiness will come! You're good enough, even if no one loves you, it's not your fault, you have to learn to love yourself well! I am grateful to have met, and my heart has lit up little by little! I believe that there may not be a ** house in the book, but there must be a better self!