Many people sigh that when people reach middle age, the two have become brothers sleeping on the top bunk, and I am afraid that the lack of temperature of each other is a problem faced by many families.
Writer Zhou Guoping said: "When people reach middle age, some people have a good marriage; Some people have turned their marriage into a terrible hell. ”
Among them, there is a phenomenon in life that is worth **: sleeping in separate rooms.
Don't look at a small way of life, but there are complex and profound marital problems hidden behind it.
And the reason why couples choose to sleep separately is basically unable to escape these 4 inducements:
The problems with each other's personality differences are gradually magnified
When in love, lovers can see each other's advantages, in the state of moon halo, we will exaggerate the goodness of lovers, and even make up for each other's goodness.
But after dating for a long time, especially after entering the marriage, everyone's roles have changed, and the requirements for the other half are naturally different, at this time, not only began to let go of the disguise, no longer catering to each other, and we all focused on ourselves, not each other.
In other words, with the marriage relationship anyone will change.
When people reach middle age, there are many things that are already worried, and the double pressure of work and life, coupled with the emotions that are not wrong, also exacerbates each other's dissatisfaction.
In fact, if this stage is also the fundamental core that eventually leads to the breakup due to this reason, after all, there is love, and the other party is worthy of sacrificing and suppressing changes, everything will be gratified, on the contrary, it will intensify in eating, continuous dissatisfaction and anger.
Changes in the body
As we age, our living habits and physical changes are very obvious and irreversible, such as snoring, grinding teeth, and talking in dreams, a series of behaviors will appear on us differently from person to person, so it will greatly affect the quality of sleep, plus both parties have already worn out passion and patience in daily life, at this time it is more important for you to sleep well than sleeping with a person who is not very satisfied.
The estrangement of the heart
The root of the act of sleeping in separate rooms actually means that there is an emotional rift.
Separation is not necessarily just because of the quality of sleep, more or the heart and heart began to move away, behind this move, is a silent counterattack, either do not know how to communicate, or try a variety of ways to be ineffective, simply "away from you" The idea has become a way to make yourself feel better.
To put it bluntly, this is a symbol of the gradual estrangement of the heart from the heart, after a long time, getting used to it, numbness, and it is irretrievable.
There's someone out there
Although this reason is not necessarily 100%, it is indeed one of the probabilities, whether it is mental derailment or physical derailment, there is already a sharp contrast to the shortcomings of the lover at the moment.
Whether the warmth outside is true or not, the behavior of the legitimate lover in front of him is unbearable, and he may not leave because of the children, or even because he is worried that the family property he has accumulated will be divided, so he endures it, but it is a little unacceptable to sleep together.
Husband and wife sleeping in separate rooms cannot be the standard for judging the quality of marriage, but it does reveal the problem of relationship to some extent, perhaps it is impossible for people to still ensure passion in middle age, but they must remember to maintain respect for their lover and learn to communicate limitedly, so that marriage can become their own help, not a cage of torment.
Text: Emotional Transit Station.
Author: Xiaoyu, psychological counselor, focusing on the emotional field).
The webmaster is good at the recovery and repair of romantic relationships, marital conflicts and differences, and the healing of psychological trauma caused by the original family. Lonely life journey, listen to your grievances and pressures, help visitors improve their skills in getting along with the sexes, win back their lovers, manage their feelings, and strive to find a better self.