There seems to be a sense in a certain perception that geniuses are all pathological, and that people who are slightly unbiased say that those people are special"Nervousness", yes"Neuropathy"Something.
For example, we know the ancient sculptor Michelangelo, the modern painter Van Gogh, and the modern Steve Jobs.
When I was obsessed with reading biographies, I learned about the lives of these geniuses almost in order, and found that these people almost without exception experienced ups and downs in life.
These people have a bad temper, a short temper, and are extremely sensitive physically and mentally, and they are criticized by the people around them, and some of them have encountered them"Good times", exerted their talents, but some were depressed and miserable for half a lifetime.
There is a saying"Genius on the left, madman on the right"This is a phrase about patients in psychiatric hospitals.
But in fact, this sentence also applies to ordinary people, because in this book "High Sensitivity is a Gift", it is said that this high sensitivity will create geniuses, and around us, one out of every five people is a highly sensitive person.
In today's world, today's society respects"The strong"Those with exuberant energy and extensive networks are surrounded by people who are engaged in all kinds of activities and all-night eating, drinking, and merrymaking.
Others, especially some introverts, feel more or less about themselves: they are very shy, they care too much about what others say, they are very anxious, they are afraid of communicating with others, they have low self-esteem and fragility, and they feel that they are out of place in this society.
I read this book with the intention of understanding myself, and I have always thought that these personalities have bound me, and I have always regarded them as shackles, and I have locked myself firmly. And the author of this book, psychologist Ils Sander, is the same person, she used to think that this kind of people were a minority, but later found out in the process of continuous research and ** that there are actually many people in society who are like this.
These people are more susceptible to the influence of their environment than the people around them, and even suffer from it, but the author believes that they also have amazing potential that has not been explored.
Speaking of which, it is not easy to discover any amazing potential, but this book may lead us to find the source of happiness, improve personal happiness, and make ourselves less depressed and miserable"Genius"Be happy""Crazy", in this life, it is enough to be benevolent.
People with high sensitivity are prone to low self-esteem, and these people's behavior is inconsistent with the cultural values of the society in which they live, which leads to their own blame, which further exacerbates their inferiority complex. This is also clearly shown in China's education, and the particularly popular TV series "Little Shede", in which the rice peach should be a typical case.
When we were children, we were all shared by our parents"Someone else's child"After making a comparison, it may be fine for some people with large nerves, but for those with high sensitivity, the damage is far-reaching.
High standards are a compensatory strategy for individuals with low self-esteem. Therefore, the more a person thinks that he is not worthy of love, the more he will try to follow some high standards so that he can be worthy of love, but high standards are not easy to achieve, so it will lead to frustration and make people with high sensitivity feel inferior, and so on.
In addition, highly sensitive people can perceive more information, and belong to a type of people who can be highly empathetic, and some people also have a strong sense of responsibility, and even want to save the world (Jobs, Van Gogh are such people), they generally have a richer inner world, so these people are more likely to be tired.
In addition, having high standards, pursuing perfection in doing things and even being harsh on oneself leads to extreme self-confidence and low self-esteem sometimes, which is a rollercoaster of emotions and a serious internal friction behavior.
This kind of internal friction seriously affects people and traps them in a vicious circle, and breaking this vicious circle can start by removing negativity.
The reason why people are negative is because there is nothing to make people optimistic, so they do something less tiring, set some small goals that can be achieved, and gain some sense of accomplishment to make people optimistic about themselves, slowly develop self-confidence, and let themselves fall in love with themselves.
If you want to have more fun, you have to create space for yourself to do something useless.
For example, find a weekend, take the city bus, sit from the starting station to the last station, and then sit back; Or take the subway, without a purpose with the train to send yourself anywhere, this is a very good way to recharge yourself, my most common way is to take a walk, do not have to deliberately choose the environment, simply enjoy the walk, the mind can get a strange feeling.
For the empathy of high-sensitivity people, we need to learn to empathize, stop being entangled, and find an outlet to pour out our own demands and feelings.
For those who really care about and understand their loved ones, or especially good friends, you can talk to them directly, or you can write a diary and write letters to friends. Regardless of what others say, who still writes letters or something in modern society, sensitive people need to be less concerned about others, be brave enough to say no, and make their lives easier.
In fact, high-sensitivity people prefer non-verbal communication, so it will be a good way to make an appointment with a friend to quietly watch an art exhibition, or to listen to a classical ** performance.
You're not weak, you're not vulnerable, you're just"Highly sensitive"That's it, love yourself and accept your unique talents!