Author: Wolong Xinshu, Senior Psychological and Emotional Counselor:
In the face of urging marriage, we should deal with it rationally, because the people who urge marriage are the people who love us and care about us.
I have many relatives and friends, as long as the festival is over, they will be urged to marry, and in the face of the urging to marry, I first feel pain, followed by anxiety, and finally turn into helplessness.
I really hate urging marriage, and I hate it to the point where I don't want to go home for the New Year when the Spring Festival comes.
But after the Spring Festival, after my relatives and friends left, I suddenly found that my side was quiet, but there was also a lack of care and care that I hoped to receive.
Human nature is selfish, we walk on the street, or we are in the workplace, we will find that there are too few people who really care about us, most of them are busy struggling for themselves, and they have no time to care about us.
It is true that we are not qualified to ask others to care for us, but should we be grateful to those who take the initiative to care for us?
They gave us the care and care we wanted, and they made us understand that there are still people who love us in this world.
We are used to indifference, we are used to selfishness, and we are used to conspiracy and calculation. We are used to seeing the ugliness of human nature, and we are used to seeing the coldness of human feelings in the world.
There is little left of our passion for life in the face of the ugliness of human nature and the reality of society.
When I returned home during the Spring Festival, I was greeted by the smiling faces of my parents and the worries of my parents about our marriage afterwards, as well as those relatives and friends, whose smiles also hid worries about our marriage.
How long has it been since you felt this happiness of being cared for and cared for?
If I were you, I would definitely consider myself the happiest person. Because, at least in this world, there are people who really care, care, and love us.
Let's think about those orphans who have no relatives and friends, they live in loneliness, they are cold and lonely during the Spring Festival, how lonely should their hearts be, how eager should they be to be urged to marry by their parents and relatives and friends?
Being urged to marry is not a bad thing, and we cannot respond to the urging of relatives and friends in the same way as we treat our enemies. We should not resist, we should be grateful.
My parents told me, "You're 30 years old and you're not married, when are you going to wait?" ”
There was anxiety and hatred in my words, and I also had complaints in my heart, and I felt that my parents did not understand me.
My relatives told me, "Don't pick, keep picking, no one wants you." ”
I felt uncomfortable, unconvinced, and even disgusted, and I felt that my relatives did not respect me at all, did not approve of me, and were looking down on me.
My friend told me, "We're all married, and you're the only one left, waiting to drink your wine." ”
I felt helpless and bitter in my heart, and I felt powerless.
I really want to say to those people, "Don't I want to find a partner, don't I want to get married?" It's not that I don't want to, it's that I can't find it. No one else looks down on me, what can I do? ”
I've talked about it before, but I won't talk about it later, because after I said it, I was even less understood.
Sometimes I'm really angry, I don't want to go home, I don't want to celebrate the New Year, and I even think about the Spring Festival.
But when I saw through this world, I found that those who love me are urging me to get married, and those who don't love me are watching coldly.
Friends must have heard of the idiom that good medicine is bitter, and the words of parents and friends are extremely difficult to swallow, but this medicine contains the love and care we crave.
At the moment, when I face my relatives and friends who urge me to get married, I will say: "Marriage is a big thing, and finding a partner is also a big thing, but a big thing is also a small thing, because the more anxious the big thing, the easier it is to make mistakes, not to mention that this is a big event in a lifetime?" Therefore, we should treat big things as small things, not talk about anxiety and anxiety, and focus more on ourselves. I know you care about me, and I understand your intentions, and I will work hard to let you eat my candy next year. ”
Relatives and friends may not understand, but my sincerity and sincere gratitude, they can sense it, they are very satisfied, and they do not urge marriage again, but occasionally tell me "don't pick, just live a good life with you".
Happiness in helplessness, happiness in bitterness, this is my truest feeling at the moment.
Spring Festival Hit Guide We are all children who are loved, we are all adults who are loved, and this feeling of being loved is really happy.
Talking about this, I hope that friends can realize that being urged to marry is also a happy thing, and we who are urged to marry are the happiest people.
Don't resist, don't resist, don't use the same way you treat your enemies against those who care about us and love us. We may hurt people who truly care about and love us because of our actions.
After the Spring Festival, we will go our separate ways with our relatives and friends, we should cherish them, we should cherish this good time.
Pain is a little painful, but happiness is also real.
Friends, when you are urged to marry, please tell yourself: they care about me, they love me, I should follow them, I should thank them for their care and love for me.