I, Wang Gang, am a project manager in a foreign company, and although I am very busy with work, my parents still urge me to think about getting married. Through a relative's introduction, I met a girl named Zhang Li, and we made an appointment to meet at a café.
At first glance, I noticed that Zhang Li was very beautiful, with delicate facial features and a good figure. Looks like a good girl, and I secretly hope that we can talk and this family affair can be done. But when she made those requests, my heart immediately tightened.
Less than a minute after Zhang Li met, she first proposed that she ask for a bride price of 500,000 yuan. Not only that, but she also said that she hoped that I could take over the support of her younger brother Xiao Ming, because she was worried that Xiao Ming would be bullied if he was alone outside.
When I heard these requests, alarm bells rang in my head. Zhang Li and I were just blind dates, and it was only the first time we met, and she put forward such a condition, which was obviously too far from my original imagination, and I couldn't help but be wary in my heart.
After listening to Zhang Li's various requests, I was silent for a while, and then opened my mouth to ask her"According to your request, if I marry you, I will not only give you a bride price of 500,000 yuan, but also be responsible for supporting your brother, so what am I, a husband, in your heart? Have you considered my interests and feelings? "
As soon as my question came out, Zhang Li was stunned and didn't know how to answer it dumbfounded. She probably thought I would gladly accept her terms, but now she was immediately speechless when I asked. I could see that she had apparently not considered the reasonableness of these demands from my point of view, and had made them wishfully.
After Zhang Li was stopped by my question, it took a while before she explained:"I didn't mean to make these requests, I just wanted to marry into a good family and live a more decent life. My brother always worries me, that's why I want you to take over his care. "
Hearing her say this, I can also understand that Zhang Li actually has a relatively simple idea - she just wants someone who can give her a stable life. But I still said to her seriously:"I understand that you want to live a good life, but the marriage relationship can only last if it is based on the equality and willingness of both parties. Your wishful thinking is still a bit unfair to me, so let's discuss mutually acceptable terms on an equal footing. "
Hearing me say this, Zhang Li lowered her head and pondered for a while, and then said with some shame"Thinking about what you said, I shouldn't have just based on my own thoughts and didn't consider your feelings, it's really not fair to you. In the marriage relationship, it is very important for both parties to have an equal dialogue, and I am too anxious. "
Looking at Zhang Li's attitude, I no longer dwelled on her previous requirements, but patiently said to her:"I don't think it's wrong for you to make a request, but I just think we need to discuss it on an equal footing to see what conditions are acceptable to both parties so that the marriage can last. Let's get to know each other better, shall we? "
Zhang Li nodded, agreeing with my idea. I saw that she had a sense of reflection, so she didn't dwell on the front anymore.
After our in-depth communication, Zhang Li finally realized that the marriage relationship really needs to be an equal dialogue between both parties, and not just consider herself. She said to me with a red face"I just made those requests, which are really not interesting. If you persuade me to talk on an equal footing, it is actually good for me, which will make the marriage stronger. In the future, I will correct this problem and listen to the other party's thoughts before making suggestions. "
Seeing her sincere reflection, I can't bear to continue to embarrass her:"Now that you're aware of the problem, start over. Let's learn more about it first, see if the two sides are really suitable, and don't rush to discuss the conditions, okay? "
Zhang Li looked at me gratefully and said sincerely"Thank you for your accommodating and understanding. I will re-examine myself and strive to become a more mature and considerate woman. I learned a lot from this experience, and I take every word you say to heart. "
Although Zhang Li and I still failed to reach the final step of marriage, this exchange was a rare growth experience for both of us.
Through this blind date, I learned that I should not judge a person based on first impressions alone, but also understand the real thoughts of the other person through communication. Zhang Li also realized that the marriage relationship needs to be based on equality and mutual understanding.
Although we didn't become husband and wife, this encounter has made each other's hearts more mature. When parting, I sincerely wish Zhang Li to find a more suitable other half for her as soon as possible. She also smiled gratefully and said that she would remember my every word and strive to become a better woman.
I believe that we will all take this experience as a precious treasure in life to guide our future emotional path. This fate, we have not wasted it in vain.