Since the founding of the People's Republic of China, equality between men and women has always been a hot topic, and now many families have accepted the concept that boys and girls are the same, and many parents prefer to have a girl.
Others would say that 20 years from now, families without sons in rural areas will still face three major problems. What are the three major problems? Is it really different to have a boy and a girl?
1. Traditional concepts and realities in rural areas.
In the traditional concept, giving birth to a boy and a girl is different, a daughter is like water spilled after being raised and married, and the son is different, and the son can pass on the family and let the incense continue.
In the early days of the founding of New China, many families would call their daughters' names "Zhaodi" in order to be able to give birth to sons, and backward areas even blamed their daughters-in-law and wives for not being able to give birth to sons.
This suffocating operation did not get much better until the state vigorously promoted gender equality and women were able to hold up half the sky.
With the popularization of the nine-year compulsory education, people's minds have enriched their knowledge reserves, have a certain concept of gender discrimination, and have a basic understanding of medicine.
More open-minded families don't mind the gender of their children, and some families prefer to give birth to girls who want to give birth to children, unlike naughty and angry boys, daughters are well-behaved and cute, and daughters can also be dressed up as beautiful little princesses and dolls, realizing the live-action version of the "Barbie" dress-up game.
There are those who really like girls, and there are also hypocritical slogans of "preferring women over men", under the slogan that giving birth to a daughter is good for the elderly, raising a daughter is less stressful than raising a son, and it is not easy to discipline a son.
This can be seen in the domestic population data at the end of 2023, there are more than 30 million more men than women, and the ratio of men and women is seriously imbalanced.
Especially in rural areas, if there is only a daughter in the family and no son, it will be criticized and ridiculed by the villagers, and the daily conversation will imply that it will be bad in the future without a son.
Because in rural areas, there is a natural divide between families with sons and those without sons, which is difficult to bridge and has many problems in the future.
2. Problems faced by families without sons in rural areas.
The first problem is the issue of pension. Families without sons wait until their daughters grow up, and they will face their daughters getting married, living with their sons-in-law, and becoming "other people's daughters".
After the daughter gives birth to grandchildren and granddaughters, more time is spent on the next generation, and there is no time to take care of the elderly.
If the daughter marries far away, it is even more rare to come back several times a year, don't marry abroad, you can't come back for a few years, and the usual correspondence is online chatting and playing
In the past, when the daughter was at home, she could often be full of laughter, but now after the daughter is not at home, the home has become "empty", the elderly have physical problems, no one around them to take care of them, and no one to accompany them to the hospital.
There are also daughters who will let their parents move in together and take care of their parents, but the son-in-law's family is comfortable, and a series of problems come down, which is also the most concerned problem in the hearts of many people who say "daughters are better to raise", afraid that there will be pension problems because there is no son, especially in rural areas with inconvenient transportation and imperfect medical security.
When facing the problem of providing for the elderly of their parents, the most important point for families with only daughters and no sons is to increase their income**, so as to reduce the burden of providing for their parents.
When entering the society and making money to support the family, plan the parents' pension funds in advance, and after discussing with the parents, formulate a good pension life.
The premise of allowing parents to experience a rich and happy old age is that there is no financial burden and economic pressure, and in addition, the parents' retirement life is more concerned about the care and care of their children.
For parents who live alone at home, daughters can always care about their parents' lives, not only holidays and Chinese New Year, but also in their leisure time.
The second challenge is criticism. In many rural areas, whether the family is young and strong is the biggest evaluation of the family, but daughters often do not belong to this category, just because they are daughters. Nowadays, there are still many rural customs that prohibit women from showing their faces, simply because it has been passed down from generation to generation by the older generation.
In the past, a family without a son would be discriminated against by the whole village, and the daughter could not even go to the ancestral hall to worship her ancestors.
This kind of discrimination in the whole society to pursue equality between men and women has not disappeared, and families without children will be bullied by others because of this, and they will also be talked about behind their backs.
For the mental health problems of the elderly, let others stop talking about it is only a superficial solution, in essence, it is to transform this criticism, so that more people can see that families without sons can live well, and criticism will slowly disappear.
You can usually use the accumulated pension to buy various benefits for your parents, pay attention to your parents' physical health, stay away from criticism and conflicts, take your parents out to play, and travel all over the great rivers and mountains, so that your parents can get out of the haze and build a good and healthy psychology.
The third challenge is the issue of inheritance. In some rural areas, because of traditional concepts, many daughters receive very little when inheriting their parents' property, and what is worse is that there are serious situations such as eating out of households.
Families without sons are often coveted by others, and when their daughters grow up and their parents are old, their daughters are not guaranteed to inherit property, and they have to face a large group of jackals, tigers and leopards. When faced with property being coveted and embezzled, the first thing is to collect evidence and use the law to protect one's legitimate rights and interests.
The local government should also vigorously crack down on this vulgar culture, change the thinking and concept of preference for sons over daughters in rural areas, improve the status of local women, carry out legal popularization and propaganda for legally blind villagers, understand the definition and provisions of the law on property inheritance, and protect women's inheritance rights.
The three major problems are still fundamentally patriarchal, women's equal rights are not properly protected, and some rural areas ostensibly agree with the view that both boys and girls are the same, but secretly still think that it is better to have a son.
3. Preference for sons over women is not advisable.
Giving birth to boys and girls is the same, the traditional idea of raising children to prevent old age and passing on the family generation is not conducive to the progress of the times, and women can also achieve success in their careers. Gender difference is not the original sin, but inequality under gender discrimination is the greatest evil.
In 1993, an American historian named Rositt proposed the Matilda effect, and Matilda was a 19th-century American female writer who wrote the book "The Inventor's Daughter", which later fell into Rosit's hands.
The Matilda Effect was born, as a way to indicate that women who were ignored and denied because of their gender were "forced" to disappear in the long river of history, they did not have a complete name, a complete life, or even a complete record, and some only Mrs. So-and-so remained.
For thousands of years, the status of Chinese women has evolved from being a vassal of men to having an independent personality and independent status, and they can freely breathe the air of any land in the world, and they can also participate in work and political elections.
Lin Qiaozhi, who has delivered more than 50,000 babies personally, is a pioneer in China's women's medical career; He Zehui, the first female academician of the Chinese Academy of Sciences, was the one who discovered the elastic collision phenomenon, and China's first X-ray astronomical satellite "Huiyan" named it and commemorated her;
Princess Pingyang Zhao, the daughter of Li Yuan, the founding emperor of the Tang Dynasty, founded the Women's Army, and the city she guarded was named Niangziguan, which was a woman who used military rites and funerals in ancient China.
The status of women today was created by the brave, intelligent and resolute female predecessors in the road of blood and tears.
In psychology, there is a famous book effect, the leather Marion effect, as long as you are full of expectations and believe that things can go well, it will definitely go well, on the contrary, it will not go well.
The same is true for the birth of a boy and a girl, the experience faced after giving birth to a boy and a girl is the same, when the daughter is born, keep encouraging the daughter, motivate her to grow, and teach her the truth of life, in the future, the education of the daughter can also become a towering tree, so that the family without a son will no longer have three major problems.
However, the reality is still cruel, the concept of preference for sons over women still exists, and more should strengthen the propaganda of the concept of equality between men and women, improve the status of women, and protect women's rights, which is not only what individuals should do, but also the state and ** should continue to work hard to change this situation.
On the other hand, it also reflects that the basic security of the elderly in rural areas has not been perfected and sound, and there are many problems, only by implementing and solving the problems one by one, so that the dilemma is no longer a dilemma, the status and power of women can succeed in this battle, gender equality is no longer an empty talk, and having a boy and a girl will no longer be a slogan.
Epilogue. 20 years later, the three major problems faced by families without sons in rural areas are a warning to everyone, and the problems are challenges and opportunities, starting from improving the welfare of the elderly and ensuring the pension life and welfare of the elderly.
Daughters should also pay attention to their parents' retirement life, so that it is no longer a pity to have no son, and no daughter can live a happy old age.