Hello everyone:
Welcome to the 100% funny collection to make you (high) laugh all day!
Today, the goddess of my crush suddenly asked me on WeChat what I am good at, I thought about it for a while, and then replied: "Below." “
Below? Wow
I saw that she sent a hooligan emoji, and I sent a 'snickering' emoji to try her reaction, but I found that I was blocked!
I don't understand, as an otaku, I learned more than 100 ways to eat instant noodles, isn't this a specialty? What's wrong with girls now?
Below? Below? You just say instant noodles can't work? 」
I fell in love with a sales lady in the mall downstairs, but I was always introverted and reserved, and I never dared to confess.
She replied at the time: "Beef noodles." ”
At that time, I was embarrassed and shouted to the owner of the counter: "A bowl of beef noodles!" “
I really want to find a hole to get into, it's too embarrassing!
Not yet old, want to be subsistence, young age, distressed and distressed
There is no safe haven The balance is a safe haven
I have a doctor friend who is a proctology doctor. At a party, he was asked why he chose such a department, and his buddy sighed and said: "At that time, I was still changing departments, and once I had dinner with a few old doctors in the hospital, I asked which department in the hospital made more money, some said surgery, some said orthopedics."
At this time, a respected old director of the hospital said: "Fart! Ophthalmology is the most profitable! ”
So my friend thought to himself, "Look at **, so looking for money?" In the end, he chose the anorectal department, and only then did he know that this old director was the famous machine gun of the hospital - he spoke very fast!
I had the opportunity to go on a business trip with a very punctual female colleague in the company. In the evening, I found a hotel, ready to stay, when I entered the door and asked the boss that there was only one room, so I found the next one, and I said to the boss: "Open two rooms......He winked vigorously at the boss ......The boss looked like a smart person, and said regretfully: "I'm sorry, there is only one room." ”
I pretended to be helpless and said to my female colleague, "There is only one room, what should I do?" ”
The female colleague was a little embarrassed and said, "Then open one, you can ......."”
Without waiting for her to finish, I hurriedly said, "Don't worry, I'm a decent man ...... gentleman."”
The female colleague then said, "Can you go to the hotel just now ......?"”
Yes! What an operation! I want to cry without tears, woo! 」
It's useless for people who are not on the same road to go together
The heart and stomach are very small, so I can't make do with what I like and eat
When class started, the teacher didn't come for a long time, so I secretly played with my mobile phone for a while, so I told the students in the back and said, "The teacher is here, you kick my bench." (There is glass at the back door, so you can see the teacher passing by.)
As a result, in less than two minutes, he kicked my stool hard, and I hurriedly stuffed my phone into my desk, and looked left and right for a long time without seeing the teacher.
I asked him wonderingly, "What about the teacher?" ”
He actually said, "Oh. I didn't come, I just rehearsed the line. ”
I picked up the book and smashed it on his head, saying, "Rehearsal your sister, you are really wonderful!" ”
Today, I went to my cousin's house to eat, and my cousin asked my cousin to cook when he saw me coming, and my cousin reluctantly got up to hand the child to my cousin, I rushed to reach out and hugged it, but the child who had just finished drinking milk sprayed me...
My cousin hurriedly hugged the child, handed me a tissue, and muttered to me, "I'm sorry, the child can't help but vomit when he sees you..."”
I'll go, my cousin said this, is it hinting at me something? My face suddenly stiffened a little!
If you like it, pay attention....Pay attention!