Hello everyone:
Welcome to the 100% funny collection to make you (high) laugh all day!
I went to the supermarket last night to buy a new toothbrush, but I didn't throw away the old toothbrush, so I put it in the basin to clean the razor.
This morning, because I got up a little late, I quickly got up to wash, brushed my teeth and spit out mouthwash, I found that the bath was full of hair, which scared me at the time, I picked up my teeth and saw that I was still using the old toothbrush before.
Hey! You're a fucking talent! 」
There was an old classmate who built a group, and I was also pulled in, but watching them chat about work, I was embarrassed to interject, I silently watched them chat, and I felt that the old classmates were mixed very well, but I didn't dare to speak, in the afternoon, someone said in the group that they were going to get together once, and they planned to organize a trip to Beijing to see, I was thinking about leaving the group, but I was not embarrassed to leave the group directly. Suddenly, I had a flash of inspiration and changed my WeChat name to "someone", so that when I left the group, the group message became "someone has quit the group chat", which was low-key, humble and friendly, and did not cause trouble to others.
Just as I was wittily laughing, a classmate chatted privately and said, "Why did you quit the group chat, they are all old classmates, what's so embarrassing!" “
Ah, I just remembered, I** didn't cover my ears and steal the bell, no wonder my IQ can only be mixed with a security guard.
Brother, you are so talented! You are the real-life version of "Covering Your Ears and Stealing the Bell", but I like it, I must give it a thumbs up! 」
3. You don't have to accommodate everyone because in the world of crows, swans are also guilty
4. Sunrise is free in spring, summer, autumn and winter
A few days ago, my head hurt a little and I was in a trance during the day, so I went to the hospital for a check-up.
The doctor said to me, "Go back and lie down." ”
I nervously asked, "Doctor, don't you need to prescribe medicine or anything?" Are there any taboos or anything? ”
The doctor said, "Eat whatever you want." ”
As soon as I heard this, I sat down on the chair with my feet limp in an instant, thinking that this time was over, and I guess something big had happened.
Then the doctor told me: "You have holiday syndrome, you sleep too late at night, just recuperate for a few days." ”
My mother, it turned out that this was the case, and I was almost said by the doctor''Eat whatever you want'Scared to faint! 」
Two years ago, I was walking on the road thinking about things, a handsome guy was walking his dog next to me, and when I walked between people and dogs, the handsome guy shouted: "Come here." ”
At that time, I walked with the dog as soon as my brain pumped. I'll never forget the complicated look in his eyes!
Chatting with my cousin **, who is in his senior year, I asked him if he had a girlfriend, and he replied, "No." The orientation has not been determined yet, for fear of harming other girls. ”
I was shocked! For such an important matter, he must tell his parents that he is an only child.
The grumpy uncle immediately beat the ** and scolded him, and I only heard him roaring angrily in the ** on the side: ".I'm talking about where to go! Whereabouts!
My sister thought".Kindness? Orientation? Whereabouts! Who calls you pronunciation is not standard
Keep the heart** someone waiting for you to resonate
Keep your heart clean and the people who live in it comfortable
invited the goddess to eat, and offered the goddess a piece of meat, but I didn't see it clearly, but it was a piece of ginger. I was so embarrassed, but the goddess said: "I really should give Jiang the best imitation award, put the meat like meat, put the fish like fish, put the chicken like chicken ......."It's okay to be steamed, but you can't tell the difference between the braised ones! ”
February** Dynamic Incentive Program
If you like it, pay attention....Pay attention!