1 Today's exam, the one next to him is a scumbag, he won't know anything, after the exam starts, this goods took out five slips of paper and put them on the table, and grabbed lots.
The invigilator immediately came over when he saw it, and the teacher was very strange: everyone else is four, why are you five?
This thing came lightly: and the other one is to do it again.
2The two dumplings got married, and after sending off the guests, the groom returned to the bedroom and found a meatball lying on the bed! The groom was shocked and hurriedly asked where the bride was. Meatballs said shyly: I hate it, you don't know people when they take off their clothes!
3 Valentine's Day: The old man watches the sky at night, the hotel and guesthouse must be full tonight, and there will be countless girls who have lost their virginity. Happily, lying on the bed is someone else's future wife. The tragedy is that your future wife doesn't know who is lying in bed. What's even more tragic is that she lost her life in a hotel for 40 yuan a night, but today she asked you for a house of 10,000 yuan a square meter before she was willing to marry you.
4 "Do you like the face of my angel, or the figure of the devil?" ”
I just like your sense of humor. ”
5When I first learned to ride a bicycle, I took a classmate out to play, and when I encountered a big hole, we fell a lot and injured our foreheads. Afraid of being scolded, he cut his bangs with scissors to cover his forehead. As a result, I couldn't cut it evenly, the shorter it was, the shorter it was, the shorter it was, and then I cut the bangs bald!
6. Two business owners chatting together. Boss A: Alas! It's not easy to make money now! Business is getting harder and harder!
Boss B: Yes! My business is also getting worse now!
Boss A: In the past, I used to take my female secretary with me on every business trip, and I often asked her to be my wife!
Boss B: "And now?"
Boss A: Now, I can only take my wife with me on business trips, and let her be my secretary!
7 and daughter-in-law began to fall in love in the second year of junior high school, and broke up in the middle, it is now the twelfth year, I got married in May this year, I went to my mother-in-law's house two days ago, and my mother-in-law asked my daughter-in-law to wear a more earthy dress, and the daughter-in-law said: This is worn by the old lady (we are talking about married women), and the mother-in-law said leisurely: You think you are still a big girl......My brother was holding back internal injuries at that time!
8 colleagues live in the upper bunk when they go to school, put a small table to read at night, get up in the morning the table is gone, get out of bed and see the paste on the face of the lower bunk, quickly pick it up, the nosebleed is also dry, the eyes are also blue, the lower bunk classmates actually did not wake up! I called him up and asked him, and he replied: I felt something hit my face last night, and I was too lazy to wake up! Too lazy to ......Awake!
I really envy the quality of this sleep!
9 I knew a man, and I dated several times. I went to the movies today, we both wore 3D glasses, and I saw him secretly texting: Mom, I'll take a girl home tomorrow for you to see. After watching the movie, I reminded him when I said goodbye: "Is there anything scheduled for tomorrow?" He said, "I have something to do tomorrow, so I'll contact you the day after tomorrow."
When I was 10 years old, I loved to watch TV, and my grades have not been very good. Once, my father half-jokingly said to me: If you can come back with a top 10 exam at the end of the term, you will be able to see enough in the future. I listened to it, worked hard, and finally finished third in the class in the final exam. When I came home with my report card, my dad was surprised and delighted that I really had the potential to study, so he locked the TV!
11Teacher: Xiao Ming, you have been looking around since the beginning of the exam, are you invigilating for me?
Xiao Ming: yes.
Teacher: You don't take the exam, just proctor for me, I have to thank you?!
Xiao Ming: Teacher, no, I'll invigilate the exam for you, you can take the exam for me!
12 Nope! There is no need to extract teeth here, just pull the skin.
A woman's tooth hurts terribly. She had planned to go to the dental clinic, but she didn't want to stumble into the office of a well-known lawyer. She pushed open the door and saw a young girl typing.
She asked the girl, "Is there a tooth extraction here?" ”
No! The girl replied dryly, "There is no need to extract the tooth here, just the skin." ”
13 Just after eating, my father accidentally provoked my mother, and was reprimanded by my mother for a while, I saw that something was wrong, and walked out with a bowl.
My mom shouted: Stop!! Where are you going, it's not me talking about you, how old are you, 28 years old, and you don't want to find a man to marry, do you want to eat me!