I wanted to write about the old yard where my family used to live, and I wrote the title, and the emotions I wanted to express were brewed. But I just couldn't write it, because every sentence I wrote, I didn't feel good enough, I couldn't express my feelings about it. Suddenly, I felt a sense of lack of ability, or a sense of helplessness that I had more than enough strength to do so. Why do you want to write about the old yard? Because when I read Shi Tiesheng's work "Me and the Altar of Earth", I wrote well no matter how I read it, and I felt a sense of impact in reading. It's not that kind of resonance, but a real emotion that really belongs to the world. He recalls his childhood kindergarten, the fate of his grandfather's life, and the acacia tree left to him by his mother. Every memory is so real, through the portrayal of his own life, it reflects the feelings of the times, heaviness or longing. I wonder how it can be so poetically expressed, and each article is entrusted with the thoughts and feelings of the past, as well as the understanding and transmission of love. So I also think of the old yard where I once lived, and I also want to express my feelings about the changes brought about by the development of the times, and I also want to express my mother's emotional sustenance for her grandmother and my grandfather's two generations. But I'm afraid that I can't write well, I can't express myself well, I'm afraid of distorting this precious emotion, my writing ability is really too poor, and I don't deserve this sincere and heavy emotion.
A good article should be brewed, the emotion is there, the story is there, but how to write it? Does it start with the history of the old yard, or the story that my mother told me, or the unforgettable story that happened in the old yard? There are always many unforgettable memories that happen there, although they are only left in the memory, but when I recall the story there, when I recall my mother's tears because of the story there, I always feel that although time is changing, and a new life is continuing, there are some things that have passed but have not passed, and it has happened, but it does not mean that it has ended. I have found that no matter what kind of life experience we have, it is a gift from God, even if it is not an outsider, but it can always give a heavy blow to the philosophy of life and death. The more painful and sad it is, the more shocking it is. Even if the story begins, how do you write the details of the story? Is it difficult to remember the details of the story at that time, and you need to rely on your own imagination? Even if the details of the story are thought out, how can you express important emotions? Is it the way the story itself is told that expresses emotion, or is it extracted from the plot of the story? I suddenly found that it is really difficult to write a good article, I respect Mr. Shi Tiesheng very much, his article is really wonderful, let me see a huge gap, and let me know for the first time that a good article is not necessarily unfathomable, but it always inadvertently moves you and hits you.
I couldn't tell if it was the words or the stories. The first impression must be the story, the plot development of the story mobilizes people's thinking, triggers the feeling of life, and definitely the twists and turns of the story can move people more. But when I just read Shi Tiesheng's words, yes, just out loud, my eyes were already moistened. You may not know how the story goes, but the stimulation of reading the words is just moving. Is it a writer full of emotions, and every word he writes contains deep emotions? This made me even more afraid to write, and it made me think about every word again, and writing became a very difficult thing. I'm also trying to observe my thinking process and record it, which can be called the reason why I don't dare to write a story. I think it's important to accumulate more emotional words, starting with stories that don't have a lot of emotion, and gradually building up a little confidence before writing.
Can't you write it? Why write it? Isn't it okay to go every day? When a person puts aside the utilitarian factor to insist on one thing, the onlooker cannot feel the suffering he has experienced in the process, and he cannot experience his feelings about life. And I'm sticking to something that seems meaningless to others. If you put the importance of life in the process, then insisting on something that is not easy to do is itself adding excitement to the process. I don't know if this notion of "relativism" is correct, bitter and sweet, sad and happy. You can try to think about an assumption, if life is all sweet, then there is no concept of bitterness, sweetness has no meaning, there is no need for the keyword sweetness, just like stones, it is just an objective thing. In the same way, it doesn't matter how happy you feel without the concept of sadness. It is precisely because of sorrow that joy is so precious. The ups and downs of life have their own value, just like the powerlessness of racking my brains to write a good story, which will give me a sense of accomplishment in writing such an article from thinking itself. Maybe that's the essence of life!