Many parents around me are puzzled:
The child has excellent grades in primary school and is a veritable primary school bully. But after entering junior high school, the child's grades showed a "cliff-like decline" and gradually became a "scumbag".
The current situation of children's learning has made many parents worry about their children's future. Coupled with the anxiety of the current "high school entrance examination diversion", parents are anxious to become ants on a hot pot.
Many times, a child's problems are not formed in a short period of time. Under the "fermentation" of time, the problems are like a snowball, accumulating bigger and bigger.
Parents can figure out the reasons behind their children's declining grades in order to prescribe the right medicine.
The child's internal drive is destroyed
I have seen such a news on the Internet.
At a school's fall sports day, some students shouted slogans during the march that were shocking:"I love to learn, and learning makes my mom happy, my mom happy, and the whole family happy."
Under the eye-catching slogan, it actually reveals the helplessness of the child. Children who lack internal motivation think that learning is something to work hard for others.
In the long run, the impact of external forces from parents on children's performance will do more harm than good.
An educational study in Portugal found that:Even for children who are just starting elementary school, internal and external drives can have a significant impact on their grades.
The results of the experiment show that:
From the first to the fourth grade of primary school, the stronger the internal drive, the better the grades, and the two are highly correlated.Facts have proved that those children who have been supported by external drive for a long time will not be able to sustain their forward energy, and sooner or later they will encounter backlash.From the first to the third grade, external drive was not correlated with grades, and had no significant impact on grades.
However, by the fourth grade, the external drive became negatively correlated, i.e., children who experienced more external motivation had worse grades.
As stated in the book "Children's Emotional Intelligence":
"Many times, children don't have the motivation to do things, in fact, because we adults use excessive external thrust, hurting their internal drive. ”
Solution: Let go and give your child some autonomy
Many times children have no internal drive, which comes from the control of their parents, hoping that the child will follow their own preset script, but invisibly destroying the child's internal drive.
To awaken a child's internal drive, parents need to give their children a certain amount of autonomy. Give your child back ownership and control over their learning.
Once the child's internal drive is stimulated, there is no need for too much supervision and arrangement from the parents, and the child can do well.
For example, in life, within the scope of children's ability, give children more opportunities to make decisions. What color school bag to buy to start, what extracurricular books to choose, and the choice of destination for vacation travel, etc.
When you get home from school, do you write your homework first or play first, and let your child arrange it by himself.
Let the children make their own specific learning plans, and constantly optimize and adjust them in the process of practice.
Your child has problems concentrating
Children's concentration problems make many parents feel like they are facing a big enemy, and they are tired
Desertion in class, looking around, most of the teacher's lectures did not listen;However, if the child's attention is always unable to concentrate, the subconscious is uncontrollable, and the subjective mind is obviously very much wanted to study seriously, but the mind is always uncontrollable and cannot be concentrated, there will still be no good learning effect. Those top school kids have super concentration.I can't sit still while doing my homework, I will drink water and go to the toilet for a while, play this and touch that;
I read the question back and forth several times, but I still don't understand what it means, and it is difficult to get into the state;
The top student in the college entrance examination, he fought back all the way, from middle school students to top students, relying on the habit of concentration.
"I'm not the smartest person, but I'm the most focused person," he said. ”
His concentration is manifested in all aspects of learning:
High concentration of attention during lectures;Talking about his learning efficiency, the head teacher praised:"The amount of what he learns in one day is equivalent to the amount of two days of study for a student who is not very efficient. ”When doing homework, never look left and right;
When revising, never think about irrelevant ......
As we all know: at the primary school level, there are relatively few courses. If the child is not attentive enough, does not understand in class or does not know how to do homework, and there is parental guidance at home, the gap between children will not be very large. But.
In junior high school, the number of learning subjects increases and the learning tasks are heavier, and those children with poor concentration and low learning efficiency will naturally gradually decline and plummet.
Over time, the gap between children gradually widens because of the level of concentration.
The prefrontal cortex is part of the frontal lobe of our brain and is responsible for a range of important functions, including executive function, memory, attention, and emotion regulation.
If parents help their children exercise the prefrontal cortex through a series of exercises, then the child's concentration level will also be better.
Failure to develop good study habits
Good habits are like building a house and laying the foundation. A good house can only be built if a solid foundation is built.
The first few years of primary school are the best time to develop children's study habits. The older a child gets, the harder it is to develop good habits.
Mr. Ye Shengtao said: "The essence of education is to cultivate habits. ”
Solution: Pay attention to children's habit formation from an early age
A mother who sent her child to Peking University shared her education experience:
"When I first started elementary school, my child couldn't sit still and his homework was sloppy. In order to help him develop good habits, I have to accompany my child to complete his homework every night, carefully point out the problems and shortcomings, and correct the mistakes before allowing him to play.For example:Accompany the child to do homework every day until the end of the third grade of primary school, the child has developed good study habits, most of the homework is completed in school, home is extracurricular reading, physical exercise and leisure and entertainment, and I basically no longer care about homework. ”
Let children learn to plan their study and play time reasonably;These habits and details are essential for children's future learning and growth.Let your child maintain a correct posture for reading and writing;
know how to preview and review, and organize the wrong problem set;
Insist on reading outside of class and so on.
In the process of cultivating children's habits, the difficulty of the initial habit should not be too high, which is easy to make children fearful, and in the process of children's persistence, provide more positive feedback to children, so that children can experience a sense of accomplishment, and children's habits can be more stable.
As education expert Yin Jianli said
In the process of cultivating habits, if the child always creates initiative and a sense of achievement, he will form a good habit in this regard.
If the child is constantly asked to feel unfree and guilty, he will form bad habits in this regard. ”