The Book of Rites says:"At the beginning of the husband's ceremony, the beginning of the diet". It means that all etiquette in society begins with eating.
Dinner is often encountered in our daily work and life, the table hides the flavor of life, not only the ups and downs, sometimes the turn of fate, but also "the wind rises at the end of Qingping", which is closely related to the dinner.
Towards the end of the year, all kinds of annual meetings and gatherings will take turns, and the dinner and wine party is a game that every member of our society can't avoid, either at the dinner or on the way to the dinner.
If we are lucky, we can make some useful connections at the dinner, add an effective stroke to our work performance, or talk to old friends about our inner sorrows; But more often than not, people are staggered, always saying some flattering words that they can't believe, or scene words, and the sweetness of the mouth does not mean that the heart is not bitter.
Some people say that the dinner is full of rivers and lakes, and the wine glass is full of human feelings, and some dinners will not only not help your work and life, but may also bring you troubles and losses, so don't go if you can.
Everyone knows the story of "Hongmen Banquet", and the banquet from the enemy is often ill-intentioned. We are in the workplace, shopping mall, there must be competitors, when your competitors invite you to dinner for no reason, you must have a snack.
There is a saying that peers are enemies, this sentence is very right, if your peers inexplicably want to invite you to drink, then it must be an impure purpose. Don't believe the hypocritical words of your opponent who say that you can turn hostility into friendship or have multiple friends and multiple paths. Adults' dinners, sometimes, are not clear in a few words, and things that cannot be reconciled at work are eager to be solved at dinner, which is simply a fantasy.
This society is very realistic, and in order to paralyze competitors, some people can do anything. Once you have drunk to your heart's content, you may accidentally talk about your business opportunities, and you will regret it and suffer a big loss.
In life, between men and men, for the future of the career of the open and secret fight, between women and women, for love and marriage jealousy, between enterprises and enterprises are to do their best to compete for the market, it can be said that competition is everywhere, so, how do we face competitors? The best thing to do is to choose to ignore and not force even the superficial peace on people and things that make you feel uncomfortable.
There is a saying in psychologyIt's that your attention is on, and your achievements are on, because when people's attention is focused on one point, other information is filtered out.
A person with a big picture, when facing competitors, will focus all their attention on self-development, rather than spending too much time and energy on competitors.
Bezos, the founder of Amazon, noted"Don't pay attention to your competitors because they won't give you money. ”
The Tao Te Ching also says:"If it is indisputable, the world can not compete with it. ”
When we don't compete with others, we don't have anyone to compete with. In the face of the invitation of competitors, instead of being cautious and vigilant, it is better to decisively refuse to choose not to participate.
There must be benefits in the dinner, and there must be something in the organization. The dinner is defined by many people as the golden key to ask for help, so it will also become a stage for some people to plot against others.
There was a question on Zhihu:Which person are you most afraid of suddenly talking to you?
A high praise answered:I am most afraid that those who have not been in touch for more than ten years will suddenly renew their old feelings with you later. Most of them don't value the relationship, but ask for you.
It's true that some friends don't keep in touch with each other on weekdays, and it may not be so simple to suddenly invite you to dinner. There's a law here:In interpersonal relationships, whoever takes the initiative is more demanding of each other.
People get along with others, or seek material things, or seek emotional value, in short, people who react strongly often have higher needs. Even if it weren't for you, going to those unfamiliar dinners would only make you embarrassed.
A netizen once asked for help and said that he went to cram school with his classmates, and he didn't have much contact on weekdays, but when he graduated, his classmates suddenly invited him to attend a dinner, and he was actually not very familiar with the teachers and other classmates inside, but he wanted to accompany this classmate a little, so he was very hesitant to go, and finally he went for the sake of face.
I thought that friends were from unfamiliar to familiar, and I could make some new friends when I went, but I regretted it, first of all, the surprised eyes of the teacher made him a little embarrassed, and then I saw that everyone was chatting together and only I was like an outsider, which seemed a little redundant, and some people even whispered and asked him who brought him over, how could he only know that he couldn't even talk when he ate.
The Round Table PieThe dinner is the best place to see the character.
We must not only know how to "talk openly" at dinner and express our true selves, but also pay attention to distinction and maintain the boundaries of the relationship. The dinner between acquaintances is to catch up, and if an unfamiliar friend calls you to eat if it has nothing to do with interests, then it is very likely that it is just a favor. Such a dinner may not be intended to invite you at all, or it may be that someone else just asks casually, at this time, you will only put others in an embarrassing situation if you agree.
For dinners between friends who don't know each other well, you can only be a foil if you go, and don't go if you can.
Xu Zhimo once said:"If you want to open someone's heart, you must first open your own."
As we grow older, the more comfortable people are in society, the more we understand that "socializing is a mutual interaction, not a one-way choice".
We often say that the circles are different, and there is no need to be strong, which is the truth. Some people say that private banquets are the key to breaking through the circle, but the upper class society only strengthens the group's self-identity by organizing "high-end dinners", and if you choose to enter the circle at this time, you are likely to embarrass yourself.
High-end dinner in a set of strict form to be realized, seating, drinking, toasting, circle have strict attention, a good dinner, the beginning and turn, step by step, like a movie, hearty, long aftertaste, without rich practical experience in the wine field and profound life experience, it is impossible to control this situation. If the low-level people take the liberty to participate in high-end dinners, they will only expose their basic humanity in front of the high-level people and put themselves in a very embarrassing situation.
In the hit TV series "Flowers", Section Chief Jin said a sentence when he was advising his apprentice Xiao Wang:When doing things, the heart can be hot, but the head must be cold.
Actually, it's the same with socializing. In the interaction between people, it is inevitable that there will be many passionate moments. But the more you are at this time, the more you must understand that no matter how much you want to communicate with the other person at that moment, you must be calm-headed.
People who are truly like-minded will know how to accept and appreciate you because of your beauty, not because of your flattery and deliberately lowering your posture, so you will be included in the list of contacts, the circle is not to beg, but to attract, so don't try to achieve a counterattack in life through a dinner.
Fowler once said:Those who go to the feast all day long do not have a good meal.
A meal is a bureau, not just a meal. There are many meals to eat in life, and there are many meals to participate in, but there must be a choice to participate in the dinner, not every meal must be participated, and the life that knows how to do subtraction can be transparent and light.
Today's topic discussion: What other dinners do you think you shouldn't attend?
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