Bottom parents choose poverty and not enlightenment? The way to choose under the pressure of reality!
Why some parents at the bottom of the pyramid would rather have poor children than raise them"Highly educated"These three considerations are very realistic.
This situation has caused a lot of discussion online. Especially short-lived"Reunion"After the holidays, many college students feel that going home has become an ordeal. Parents and relatives are also inevitably talking about some cliché topics, such as marriage, salary issues, etc. It's a very boring phenomenon.
It is worth noting that those who did not achieve significant achievements in their studies and work were able to stay in their hometowns for a long time, have dinner with their parents every day, and even live with them. This fact seems to have strengthened the conviction of some elders"It is better to educate poor children than to educate highly educated children"This maxim.
The reason behind this statement is much simpler than that. The authors found that parents, often from the most disadvantaged households, were most likely to support this view.
Some parents would rather raise poor children than raise them"Good student"There are three practical aspects to this.
In this era of depreciation of academic qualifications,"Kochi"The meaning of the term is naturally different from what it used to be. This doesn't mean that finishing college is the same"Highly educated"Rather, you need to have at least studied at a better institution and be able to use what you've learned to improve your qualifications. However, some parents are not interested.
First, raising the level of knowledge requires greater investment in education, which inevitably leads to the redistribution of limited income expenditures. Funding is one of the most difficult and pervasive challenges faced by families at the bottom.
At the same time, as parents, the level of importance and energy invested in their children's education is also very different. In fact, many parents are reluctant to lower their standard of living too much for the sake of their children.
For example, a former colleague of the author, whose father could spend $200 for a drink with a friend, spent $50 on extracurricular books, but this was considered to be"Useless and wasteful"。
Second, the social class of the parents usually determines their perceptions and styles; Parents with less education may not see the need to raise their children into intellectual elites.
Even for highly educated people, parents may think that they are too much as long as the students are enrolled in a post-secondary institution"Educationalization", because they have little contact with highly educated people in their social circles. Or, some parents deliberately avoid families with higher levels of education and prefer to compare them with families with less education.
If the above behavior is more or less unconscious, then the third reason is even more helpless and distressing. It turns out that some families have made it clear that they simply do not want to raise a cultured offspring.
Highly educated, highly talented children are often unwilling or unable to stay in their relatively unassuming small towns. What's more, the better your grades and the more prestigious the university you go to, the farther away you will be.
They may choose to go to first-tier cities or even foreign countries for development, and do not return home for a long time. However, due to the cost of living and the reality differences, most of the time, it is not convenient for them to take their parents over. Parents may feel that their children have been raised in vain, and may even worry that they will not be able to support themselves after their careers are successful.
Because of this concern, some parents do not intend to seriously educate their children in the first place. Conversely, children with poor academic performance usually stay with them honestly. On the other hand, they have a limited education and a similar social circle to their parents, resulting in similar behavior and language communication between the two generations.
Different families raise their children in very different ways, regardless of the student's choice"Free"Still"Get educated"There is no clear answer to what will be most beneficial to them.
Some people believe that a good learning environment should be provided for their children at all costs, and that their children's future should not be hindered by their own negligence. However, there are also those who believe that academic qualifications are not important, especially in today's world where it is increasingly difficult for college students to find high-paying jobs.
Admittedly, some parents get caught in"Hope that the son will become a dragon and the daughter will become a phoenix"complex mindsets. In the seventies and eighties of the last century, some parents were worried that their children would be admitted to Tsinghua University"Don't have children"This mentality still exists in other forms today.
From a life point of view, children are unable to choose their own parents and do not have the ability to decide whether their parents are willing to raise themselves seriously or not. As a result, they often have to accept reality. However, even more frustrating is that some parents are caught in conflict.
In the early stages of a child's life, they may be reluctant to invest too much energy and resources in their child's education and learning, and they may not pay much attention to their child's grades and education. However, when they see other students doing well, they may in turn criticize their own children"Too mediocre"。
They just don't see the quality of their parents, and the amount of money and resources they spend to improve their children's grades and nurture their children's interests. In their later years, they may hear about the success of their relatives and neighbors' children in their careers in Beijing, or they may hear about another person's children traveling abroad with their parents.
At this time, they may complain that their children are not as capable as others, and they can only stay in this small town, and they can only rely on it"Harvest grain"。But they completely forget that it is actually the result of the way they choose to educate their children as parents.
Epilogue] The student went away from home and was jokingly called"Wasting parents"；The child pitifully stayed around, called"Useless cumbersome"。In fact, sometimes people tend to feel dissatisfied after getting parenthood.
Children are our continuation, and their present and future are also the result of our educational process. Hopefully, these parents will see their children more holistically, whether they are poor or highly educated.