1916, June. There is a moon in the sky, and there are people in the room, one old and one young.
Futian (Ma Yifu's young name), my life has come to an end, but you still have a long way to go. It's been more than ten years, and if Yi'er knows under the spring, she won't be relieved to see that you have been alone. You ......Really don't think about remarrying? ”
Ma Yifu's father-in-law Tang Shouqian was silent for a long time, and Ma Yifu said in a low voice: "Father-in-law......."You know. In this life, I'm sorry for Tang Yi. She went, and I didn't have that kind of mind, so it was not good to delay other people's good daughters. ”
After hearing this, the old man sighed, but he didn't know how to persuade him for a while.
In fact, as early as a few years ago, he mentioned to his favorite son-in-law that he would marry his third daughter as a continuation.
At that time, this son-in-law also refused without hesitation.
Ma Yifu married a wife at the age of 16, and his wife died three years later, after which he never married.
Everyone in the world says that his son-in-law is a seed of infatuation, and only the old man knows the reason behind this in his heart - Ma Yifu has a deep affection for Tang Yi, but more than that, he is actually ashamed.
In 1883, on February 25 of the lunar calendar, the fourth child of the Ma family was born.
Ma Yanpei, the head of the Ma family, has the knowledge of helping the people through the world, and has also been the magistrate of Renshou County, Sichuan Province.
Ma Yifu, who was born in such a family, was materially and spiritually rich, and at the same time inherited the good genes of his parents, who were smart and studious, surpassing ordinary children.
Ma Yifu was able to compose poems at the age of eight, and recited "Chu Ci" and "Anthology" at the age of nine.
Even his Mr. Enlightenment, who was too gifted to teach him anything, ran to his father to ask for his resignation.
Most geniuses seem to follow this path, and it doesn't make a difference.
At the age of 16, Ma Yifu was a high-spirited young man, and participated in the Shaoxing Township Test with Zhou Zuoren, Zhou Shuren and others, and won the first place in one fell swoop.
On the day of the release of the list, there was a lot of noise in front of the Gongyuan, there were candidates who watched the list, people who ran errands from large families, and squires who hid in the carriage thinking about "catching a son-in-law under the list".
Among them, there are Tang Shouqian and his beloved daughter Tang Yi.
Tang Yi, who is over fifteen years old, is born with bright eyes and bright teeth, with the dignified and elegant beauty of everyone's ladies, and the shyness and subtlety of a little daughter.
Tang Shou took a fancy to the most conspicuous Ma Yifu in the crowd at a glance, he opened the curtain of the carriage a little, pointed at Ma Yifu, and smiled at his daughter: "Look, that is the fourth young master of the Ma family, do you like it?" ”
When Tang Yi heard this, her face turned even redder with shame, her head was buried lower, she was embarrassed to look over there, and only whispered back: "Daddy's vision is always good, and the daughter is all up to her father." ”
Tang Shouqian heard this, stroked his beard, and laughed: "Okay! Then I will be the master of this for you! ”
Tang Shouqian didn't know that his daughter, who looked shy and introverted, actually liked Ma Yifu, a young man.
Long before watching the list, when the axle of the carriage ran over the morning light on the bluestone slab, the spring breeze in the south of the Yangtze River stole the curtain of the girl's car.
There was a small voice outside the window, and the young man in the green shirt was holding an oil-paper umbrella, and his handsome and elegant face was gently pressed under the paper umbrella, only to give her a glimpse.
The person who was pointed by her father just now, she peeked at it, and it turned out to be the young man who passed by.
Therefore, fate is really unspeakable.
God favors him, and the person he meets is his sweetheart, which is Tang Yi's luck and Tang Yi's calamity.
The ancients had clouds, and there were four joys in life: a long drought and nectar, a foreign country to meet an old acquaintance, a candle night in the cave room, and a gold list inscription.
17-year-old Ma Yifu experienced two happy events at a young age.
In the second year after the township test, under the arrangement of his family, Ma Yifu completed his life events.
On the day of the wedding, he was poured a lot of wine, and the originally cold young man was also a little confused by the wine, and then he staggered into the new house.
At the end of the Qing Dynasty, when the red hijab of the sedan chair was opened, the young boys and girls were all bright.
Tang Yi saw the light of the sky, but Ma Yifu saw the bride as bright as the light.
The men and women in wedding clothes were a little restrained, silent for a long time, and looked at each other without saying a word.
Seeing that the young man was in a hurry, the girl smiled boldly, and her teeth were like jade, and she saw that the young man was dazzled.
The red tent is warm, the happy candle is extinguished, the sky is bright, the love of children is long, and there is a pair of young couples made in heaven in the world.
Tang Yi was originally satisfied in her heart, thinking that her husband was a genius in the sky, maybe it was still what people often said in the sky, and it was impossible to say that the stars in the sky would be down, otherwise how could he be the top of the list at a young age.
It's just that what Tang Yi doesn't know is that this heavenly immortal has the dawn of life in his heart, but he may not be able to pretend to be a child relationship.
Simulation of the new house at the end of the Qing Dynasty was only a month later, and Ma Yifu packed up his bags and prepared to go to Shanghai to continue his studies.
Tang Yi folded his clothes for him, afraid that he would be cold, and his winter clothes should be as thick as possible, for fear that he would not be entangled enough, and the coins would be rich enough ......He put away two pairs of shoes made for him by himself, and tears could not help but fall.
Qu Xing in the sky, Ma Yifu on the ground, the immortal's heart is the common people, and Ma Yifu's heart is the feelings and ambitions she can't understand. His parents, his country, and the new ideas that have been in the thick of the recent uproar are all important to him.
And she, Tang Yi, to him, is only a very small existence.
After Ma Yifu left home, Tang Yi was not without thoughts in her heart.
But Tang Yi's upbringing in the past ten years has allowed her to quietly suppress this thought, her family is a big family, she has also been educated by the virtuous and virtuous lady Boudoir since she was a child, she knows that even if her husband is not there, she should also honor her in-laws, love her sister-in-law, and keep this house for her husband.
In addition, according to the teachings of her husband when he left, he learned to read and write.
That person, who is a nerd himself, said to her: "Can't read, it's better than being blind, can't read, it's better than being blind." ”
But it is clear that what this world says is that a woman is virtuous if she is not talented. Illiterate ladies abound.
The old photos of everyone's ladies at the end of the Qing Dynasty can be married to him, and her husband is Tang Yi's sky, and her husband's will has become her will.
While serving her in-laws, she also devoted herself to studying, and wrote to her husband Ma Yifu from time to time to report her study progress.
They are a young couple, but they are like classmates and friends, and the correspondence and exchange of learning experiences is a small interest between their husband and wife, and they promote each other like classmates. Sweet and bitter, Tang Yi also felt sweet.
When spring came, the Ma family, which had always been calm, became chaotic.
Ma Yifu and his sister (first from the right) family in Hangzhou Yanding Lane apartment in 1900, Tang Yi was only 17 years old, watching her father-in-law paralyzed and unable to speak, the second sister died of a sudden emergency, and because of the early death of her mother-in-law, the eldest sister was married.
can only rely on Tang Yi alone to support a huge family, so busy that his feet don't touch the ground, he can't sleep at night, and he has no time to take care of his physical discomfort.
Ma Yifu also wrote a few times during his period, and Tang Yi thought that he was busy running around for the new ideas and trends in his mouth, while he was busy studying, and at the same time preparing for the monthly magazine "Translation World" with his colleagues, he really didn't want him to be distracted by family affairs.
When I wrote to him, I always said: With me at home, don't worry.
If it weren't for the rapid change in his father-in-law's condition, Tang Yi would not have called Ma Yifu home.
When I received a telegram from Tang Yi about my father's illness, spring was almost over.
Ma Yifu saw the contents of the telegram, his mind went blank, he couldn't care about anything else, and took the train home overnight.
When he returned, it was late at night, and when he hurried through the door, he was met by a figure as thin as tissue paper.
She is still as pretty and gentle as a year ago, but she is so thin that she can't look good, her face is pale and sunken, and she looks a little fragile with vicissitudes of life, just like a delicate glass cup, she can't stand reaching out to touch it, but I'm afraid that it will shatter when I touch it.
She muttered for a long time, swallowed many unfinished words, and said: You are back?
He stopped a few steps away from her, crushed the moon in the middle of the night under his feet, and choked up: Ayi, I'm back.
It's been a year since I handled my father's funeral.
This year, Tang Yi became thinner and thinner, always coughing, but nothing happened in front of Ma Yifu.
He didn't know that she was terminally ill, and a few days after her father was buried, he looked at her and said, "Ayi, I'm leaving." The home is entrusted to you.
Tang Yi snuggled in his arms, her body stiffened imperceptibly, and all kinds of bitterness welled up in her heart, but she couldn't say a word to stay.
Just because she knew that he had to go back to Shanghai, where more people needed him, where he had ambitions and ideals that far exceeded the personal feelings of his children, and when the situation was turbulent, he was trying to find a way to save the country, studying day and night, and running around to participate in the revolution.
If she left him on her own, it would only make him miserable.
The Gold Powder Family stills the women of their time, with their husbands as the sky, virtuous and virtuous are things born in their bones, and the education they have learned is just that as a woman, they should sacrifice for men.
Therefore, this time, Tang Yi still didn't say anything to save it, even if she knew in her heart that this parting might be the separation of yin and yang, and the yellow spring was gone.
When winter comes, everything is depressed.
Nineteen-year-old Tang Yi instructed her maid to move her a reclining chair and sit in the garden to bask in the sun.
The winter sun is precious, and my pale cheeks are a little reddened by the sun.
It's just that my body still feels cold, even if I have worn a very thick winter coat, I can still feel the heat passing away from my body little by little.
Tang Yi knows that it is not only the popularity that has passed, but also her few lifespans.
Half-asleep and half-awake, she instructed her personal maid: You send a telegram to the fourth master and let him go home......Let's just say ......Let's just say ......Alas, forget it......He's too busy, too busy......
She muttered, her eyelids sinking even more, and she looked at the red plum tree under the moon gate in a daze.
I thought to myself, the plum blossoms are so beautiful, and there are always beautiful ...... in this world
The eyelids fell, the world fell into darkness, and the heat of the body was completely gone.
The telegram that Tang Yi didn't let was sent finally arrived in Ma Yifu's hands.
Holding the telegraph with the heat of the typewriter, Ma Yifu's fingertips began to get cold.
Looking at the few words on the telegram, he was as smart as a horse and turned into a fool who couldn't think.
The mist in his eyes gradually accumulated, and it became crystal and fell on his pale fingertips, and he couldn't hold back after all, but the 20-year-old young man slowly squatted down, buried his head in his knees, and cried silently and grieved.
The paper in his hand fell to the ground at some point, and it read:
The fourth wife is gone, and the fourth master will return quickly. ”
In just two years, Ma Yifu has lost almost all his relatives.
Kneeling in front of Tang Yi's coffin, Ma Yifu did not eat, drink, or speak, like a shell that had lost his soul.
The scenes in front of me are all Tang Yi's voice and smile before his death.
On the night of the candles in the cave room, she was as gorgeous as a flower and as shy as grass.
When she stayed up late to warm up her books, she added fragrance to her red sleeves, and she also read the dawn of the autumn night, and did not forget to add a coat for him.
Sending him away, obviously reluctant, but he still looked up with his little face and pretended to be strong, turned around and left first, but quietly hid behind the pillar and looked at him, tears wet his clothes.
Privately, she loves to call him Shiro.
Shiro, don't worry about the family, everything has me. That's what she always says in her letters.
Shiro, I've finished reading some books recently, and you'll take the exam for me when you come back, okay? Occasionally playful, the little daughter attitude revealed is also cute and cute, which makes people laugh.
Shiro, if you are studying in a foreign country, if you have any difficulties, you must write to me and let me know. After losing his mother at an early age and marrying a wife, he realized that the taste of someone in the family was so sweet and sad. ”
After that, there is no such vivid person, knowing his warmth and coldness, sharing it with him, making him sweet and sad.
Thinking about the past three years, the husband and wife have all gathered less and separated more, and if you think about it carefully, it is her forbearance and dedication, and it is all his contempt and disappointment.
The guilt and self-blame were like a tide that began to spread from the soles of his feet, drowning his whole body little by little, until he drowned his facial features, making his heart ache so much that he couldn't breathe.
Ma Yifu's personal photo was not until his father-in-law Tang Shouqian came to comfort him, and Ma Yifu fainted weakly, at this time, he had not eaten water and rice for three days.
When he woke up, he only saw his father-in-law Tang Shou sitting on the edge of his bed sighing, his face full of sadness and grief, seeing him wake up, his eyes were complicated and indescribable, there were complaints and pity.
After those contradictory emotions changed several times, Tang Shouqian said: "The deceased is gone, you don't have to be too sad, the days to come are ......."It's just weird, the two of you have a thin relationship, and maybe you'll meet a better ...... in the future”
"Father-in-law! It couldn't be better! Ah Yi is the best woman in the world! ”
Tang Shouqian was taken aback by Ma Yifu's sudden raised tone, and forgot what he was going to say for a while.
In a daze, Ma Yifu had already struggled out of bed and got off the ground, and knelt down with both knees bent.
My father-in-law is above, the emperor and the queen of heaven are the proof, I am a floating horse, I will not marry again in this life, in the world, under the Yellow Spring, there is only Tang Yi's wife, if this is violated, the sky will thunder, and after death, there will be eighteen layers of hell. ”
Tang Shouqian was frightened by Ma Yifu's sudden oath, and hurriedly helped the person up, wanting to say something, but he really couldn't think of anything else, so he could only sigh, looking at the young man with a determined expression in front of him, and didn't know how to move for a long time.
Time flies, decades go by.
Ma Yifu is no longer the elegant and handsome young man he used to be, and he has reached the twilight of his old age.
In 1965, 82-year-old Ma Yifu sat in a messy home, with clear fingerprints on his face.
The young man who copied his house had long since fled without a trace, and he had been high all his life, and for the first time he opened his mouth to ask for help, but in exchange for a merciless slap.
After sitting on the ground for a long time, Ma Yifu muttered, "Ah Yi, maybe soon, I will be able to accompany you." ”
In the past 60 years of Ma Yifu's later years, he fulfilled his oath with actions, and never married a wife since Tang Yi, but devoted himself to various studies, he was called the "Three Sages of Neo-Confucianism" by later generations, in addition, philosophy, literature, Buddhism, and calligraphy are all refined.
Maybe it was Tang Yi's death that took away his mortal heart, so that he would have no selfish desires for the rest of his life.
He said: Selfish desires together, people and I are burning, and I go to the ghost cave.
Tang Yi is his only selfish desire, Tang Yi goes, he can't afford his selfish desire, and he will no longer be ruthless and disturb his mood for the rest of his life.
Some people say that Ma Yifu has no regrets, so Tang Yi never married after his death.
But I feel that Ma Yifu has more regret and hatred for Tang Yi than love.
regretted that the love of children was as light as a feather than him, but he still married her and let her stay alone in the empty house for many years after marriage.
What Ma Yifu hated was that the world was impermanent, and he didn't have time to give her any compensation, but she suddenly died, leaving him alone, with this remorse, guilt for life.
Zhou Guoping said that cherishing is fate, and fate is cherished.
Life cannot be as first seen, and memories and hometown are far away.
No one knows which one turns around is a lifetime, and which regret will have to be made up for with the rest of his life.
Cherish the warmth of every ray of sunshine, cherish every meeting and separation, and cherish every moment together.
We don't have much, but a lover who is by your side at every moment of the moment.
Don't wait for this to become a reminiscence, cherish the present and have a clear heart.