After the quarrel, my husband's words made me happy and sad, and I learned to accept my fate.
After a long wait, I was finally able to write some stories about family conflicts. Someone might suggest to me that I don't always write that long article and don't always focus on describing my partner.
In the dead of night, I often wonder, what should I write? Write Dong Yuhui? Write Andy Lau? Or write about Ukraine? I'm just a rural chicken woman, not old enough to be a mother-in-law, and I'm not a fan of Andy.
Ukraine is too far away, and I don't know anything about it. I ......What should be written? Looking around, in addition to the chickens, ducks, geese, pigs and dogs in my family's 100 acres of barren forest, there is only the "husband" who calls the world around.
Oh yes, and a young and ignorant son......My life revolves around them every day. My joys, sorrows, and sorrows all stem from their ......Just like the twentieth day of the lunar month, it was a good day, and the sun was shining!
But I went toe-to-toe with them, triggering a family war that cried and laughed. This war is not for money, for business, and not for the so-called agricultural ......In the morning, my immature son racked his brain to express his desire to look at his phone.
Musk once said, "Short** is eating children's brains." I don't know if Musk is right, but there is a lot of truth to that. However, the son who failed to do so could only express his anger in a troublesome way.
In the past, I would definitely use my deterrent power to hold him back. But now, with my husband, who can only raise chickens and feed pigs, I have also begun to comprehend his thoughts and be a patient person.
The first emotional confrontation of the morning, I held back. I ignored it first, and then persuaded me with good words to soften my son's little emotions. At that moment, I was proud of my patience.
After an interval of 1 hour, the second battle of the son broke out again. This time it was my husband's soft voice, and I thought that my old father had already stepped forward and that I didn't need to intervene anymore, so I thought of myself as a bystander.
However, I overheard a sentence, "Dad's phone is for work, or you should check on Mom's ......."This sentence instantly broke my previous calm, and I walked into the room and began to harshly scold my son who was sitting in my husband's arms.
Under such circumstances, my son's emotions instantly lost control, he cried and screamed, and my voice and I argued with each other. And the man in my house was looking at us with a faint smile at this time.
At that moment, I wished that he would stop this conflict, and that he would take this opportunity to educate his son. However, instead of the harsh language I expected, he said to his son in a kind tone, "It's not right for you to do this......”
That day, we were eating together at the table, and he smiled and said to me, "You always criticize him, can he not be angry?" My mood was provoked by him again, and I loudly accused him: "I said what's wrong with him, did I say it wrong?" ”
"He just wanted to look at his phone, but he didn't see it," he explained. I yelled again, "You always say this to others, who can stand it?" ”
He suddenly became very angry and said, "You just said that I put up with me, why are you still talking?" "It made me angry, and I thought to myself, every time my child has a conflict with me, you always stand by the child and think I'm wrong.
You always pamper your children, how can you be justified today? I wanted to argue with him, but when I saw that he was really angry, I decided to swallow my anger so that the argument would not escalate.
He was so angry that he didn't want to talk to me, but I couldn't help but retort, and we both started crying as I spoke. I told him that all I had been anxious about for more than a year was to educate him, but he told me not to meddle.
He asked me why I was interjecting and I told him why he didn't lose his temper with me? Our emotions grew higher and higher, until finally he said, "How many times have I told you, you just ignore him when he loses his temper, what are you interjecting when I talk about him today, don't you meddle in anything?" ”
Words like this. I listened to the aggrieved heart, and tears kept falling. He glared at me, as if he didn't know what to do. Finally, I told him that I knew I was wrong, that I would try my best to correct my behavior, and that I would educate my child well and let him know that it was wrong to lose my temper.
He also said that he would correct his mistakes and stop losing his temper with me. While our conflict still exists, we both understand each other's ideas, and this is an important step forward for us.
He suddenly said something that made me very angry: "Okay, since you said that I am nosy, then in the future, your son educates yourself, don't look for me, don't look for me when you eat, drink, and Lazar."
Every time I have a conflict with him, I have communicated with you. Actually, I just hope you can educate him more, but you always praise your son, as if I have nothing to do. ”
He said, "What's wrong with my son, I think he's fine, you have to do the same as I did when I was a child, and make me do what I say." When am I a slave? He's angry just because he wants to look at his phone, it's you, aren't you angry?
Isn't it normal for him to get angry when he doesn't see the phone? He is not allowed to be angry, he must be happy. Anyway, I didn't understand it when I told you, so I didn't bother to tell you. I don't care about it in the future, you can do whatever you want. ”
Then he said to me, "What did you do with me?" Now you regret it? You don't care, he's your son. I can't stand his tantrum for no reason, doesn't he just want me to be obedient?
I can't be as indifferent to him as you are. He continued: "I really think my son is very good, I can't find a child like him. I'm also helpless, if it weren't for the fact that I had to take him with me for the farm, I would definitely be able to take him well.
Do you believe it? I replied, "I do, so I'm anxious, I'm afraid that I won't be able to take him well, and I'm afraid that my personality will affect him." Every time he gets emotional, I'm annoyed, either you sell the farm and take him home, and I'll go to work.
I was relieved. ”
The separation is for a better life, since you think I am not satisfied, then we will live separately, he and I will stay on the farm, and you will go back to the city alone. I couldn't stop crying, and I was so angry with his decision that I flowed again.
Do you really think that's a good thing to split up if you want to? "So do you have any other ideas? You think he's annoyed with me too, and I'm annoyed with you too. ”
I don't have any requirements, I just hope you can tell me not to lose your temper in front of me in the future, it's hard for me to control my emotions. "I can't do it, you go find someone else." ”
I can't find anyone else, you are his father, I can only come to you, if he provokes me, you have to educate. "I don't understand what you're thinking, why are you angry with a little child?
He's young and ignorant, aren't you sensible either? "Yes, you may just think that I am mentally retarded and I am not sensible, but if you can tolerate him, why can't you understand me? ”
My husband laughed angrily at me, and he said, "You guy, I don't know what to say." I ignored him, and he continued: "When I was a child, I also had a bad temper, and everyone in the village knew about it.
But my mom always ignored me, she never spoke when I was angry. I kept thinking that if my mom hit me like you did, I would definitely fight with her. ”
After listening to him, I was stunned and forgot to cry: "It turns out that it is not my education problem, but the genetic problem." I often blame myself for not being too strict with my usual management that caused him to have a bad temper, but now I know that it is your genetic problem, no wonder your family always says that you have a bad temper.
Is your son just like you? I saw his expression, both surprised and helpless: "Now you have found an excuse." What's wrong with me? Is my personality bad? Can't I be filial?
Can't I just be as submissive as your family? I think my son is nice and manly. I stopped talking, and he said with a hippie smile, "Okay, it's all my fault."
Who made me grumpy? Later, I told him not to lose his temper in front of my mother, and if he wanted to lose his temper, he would come to me and lose his temper in front of me. Do you think that's okay? ”
Family conflicts, like a grinding stone in life, are everywhere and everyone will experience them. There is no right or wrong, everyone just wants a better family, a better child, and also wants to find an outlet for their emotions.
However, every escalation of conflict may plunge the family into a greater crisis, and may even ruin this ordinary and beautiful home. Therefore, we should learn to deal with family conflicts calmly, avoid them from escalating, and keep the family harmonious and stable.
Only in this way can we truly enjoy the warmth and happiness of family.