When it comes to finding a partner for children, of course, there must be a car and a house, but this is only a "primary" standard!
If you look at those smart parents, when they think about things, they always ask themselves this question: Can this new person join our family live in harmony with our children for decades? Can they be trusted? If you look closely at the person you introduce with this goal in mind, you will often get surprising results.
Some parents are too hasty in dealing with their children's marriages. After the children get married, they will either have financial difficulties and find it difficult to bear the living expenses; Either the relationship between husband and wife is tense, there are often incidents, and daily irritability. This situation can be completely avoided, as long as parents put a little more effort into it.
Remember these 3 warnings!
First, whether the personality is extreme.
In real life, parents must pay attention to whether the other party's personality is extreme in the process of choosing a partner for their children.
The extremes mentioned here include not only going to extremes when thinking about problems, but also going extreme when dealing with things, and we cannot accept any form of failure.
If you marry someone with this kind of personality, it will be very hard to get married. Maybe they will do something that you can't bear.
For example, some children introduce their parents to their parents and become very excited as soon as they encounter something small. The things they do and say are so extreme that they make people sweat when they see them, or feel miserable in their hearts. People with this kind of personality may not be able to change after marriage, and family life will be very difficult.
In fact, many couples divorce or break up because they can't tolerate the serious character flaws of their other half. Even if both of them have a car and a house, and their income is quite considerable, if they can't stand the personality problems of the other half, it is still difficult to get along for a long time. I hope you will understand and value this issue.
Second, whether consumption is commensurate with household income.
In real life, parents should pay attention to the consumption concept of the young people, as well as the consumption concept of their family. It's really important.
You must know that married life basically revolves around how much money you make and how much you spend. The so-called concept of consumption usually does not change easily, and may even become the main contradiction within the family.
I knew an aunt whose daughter was having a hard time when she got married. The reason is that she inadvertently found that the financial pressure on her in-laws' family was too great. Knowing this, the family should have paid more attention to it in the first place.
The man dressed up quite generously before marriage, and his family was gullible to him, and he felt that there was nothing wrong with him. But looking back, the man's parents don't have any serious careers at all, and the family doesn't have a solid economic foundation at all!
It turned out that the money that the man spent before marriage did not match his family's real income. Isn't that a sign of a lack of vision?
Therefore, parents must be cautious when examining each other's spending habits. Generally speaking, it is better to find the kind of person who is budget-conscious, than to be deceived by the kind of person who seems to be a big spender on the surface. It is estimated that there will still be problems with Korean style after marriage, and it will not be easy to solve it when the time comes.
Third, get to know the other person's nature.
In ordinary life, when young couples fall in love, they don't know much about routines, so they may not see people comprehensively. In addition, falling in love is passionate, and it tends to beautify everyone beautifully.
But in fact, some people don't really fit well. For example, before getting married, I looked at the two of them as talented and beautiful, and they were the right people, but after they got married, they found that the pursuit and values of the two were fundamental. It's definitely not going to be a comfortable day. Marriage
For example, isn't it common for one person to value work development and another person is reluctant to work hard? They are so different in nature, how can life be spent easily and happily?
Everyone understands that in real life, after all, the elders have been in society for decades, and they should have a deeper understanding of human nature. Nagging, look at people more comprehensively, but don't make decisions in a hurry! When you encounter an unfortunate thing, it will be quite troublesome to solve!