Many parents criticize their children, always trying to make them bow their heads and admit their mistakes, and sometimes even criticize their children as useless. In fact, this criticism simply does not work as it should. Experiments and experience have shown that correct criticism is aimed at "correcting mistakes", "building relationships", "passing on friendliness" and "channeling emotions", rather than simply making children bow their heads and admit their mistakes. Therefore, when parents criticize their children, they should pay attention to the following aspects.
1.Be realistic. When criticizing your child, don't exaggerate or narrow down the problem, one is one, two is two, just point out the key points. Some parents criticize endlessly, and even involve other things, and children often get bored and resist when they hear too much. Remember, saying it three times doesn't work.
2.Protect your self-esteem. Some parents criticize their children and never save face, which causes great damage to their children's self-esteem, which deviates from the "friendly" purpose of criticism education. Criticism, we must protect the child's image, not scolding or ridiculing, otherwise it will make the child feel humiliated, and it is easy to accumulate anger and psychological burden. In the long run, you will lose your self-confidence.
3.Don't prophetically deny. Some parents criticize their children, habitually exaggerating the consequences and labeling their children negatively, such as "if you don't study well now, you won't be able to get into college in the future, and your life will be over." In this way, it is easy to cause huge psychological pressure on children, and it is easier to lose the courage to overcome hardships.
4.Don't compare. Another common misconception that often occurs when parents criticize their children is to compare themselves with other children. For example, whose child has good grades, and why can't you do it? This kind of horizontal comparison can easily hurt the child's self-esteem. Some children are not convinced and become rebellious, and may contradict their parents and compare them with other parents. Lu Zhongyi said that parents should focus on the growth of their children themselves, not to be anxious first, but to give their children time to grow.
5.Keep your emotions in check. Whether a child can accept criticism depends to a certain extent on the relationship between parents and children. Children will definitely make mistakes in the process of growing up, and parents must first accept the fact that their children make themselves angry, and be psychologically prepared for this. When you are in a bad mood, never criticize your child. If an angry word is about to come out, pause for a few seconds or circle your tongue in your mouth.
How can parents criticize and children are more receptive? When criticizing education, parents should be gentle and firm. It can express angry and angry emotions moderately, and at the same time carry positive emotions. For example, if a child is delaying learning by playing with his mobile phone, parents can call the child by name, and then say in a calm and clear tone that "this is not advisable", and briefly explain the harm, hoping that the child can correct it. Before criticizing education, it is best for parents to have "rules" to follow for relevant issues, so that the binding force will be greater.
The French educator Rousseau pointed out in his book Emile: "Every man's mind has its own form, and it must be directed according to its form in order that the painstaking effort you spend on him may be fruitful." "Only by grasping the child's personality characteristics and criticizing the child when he makes mistakes can he receive good results. ▲
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Youth education