My brother sent me an old **, telling me**There is a father in it, and asked me to look for it, I searched carefully three or four times, but I didn't find it, my brother pointed out my father's location, I was deeply surprised: it turned out that the fourteen or fifteen-year-old boy in ** was my father, he was also a teenager, from youth to middle age farewell, maybe the difficult years are the most devastating, I have never seen him high-spirited, and once complained and alienated him ......But in the past fifteen years, every time I grew up, every experience of passive growth told me: father's love is silent, and he will accompany him for a lifetime.
He slapped me
I am an ordinary girl, since I was a child, I am not good at words, I am used to being alone, my mother said that I would not communicate with teachers and classmates when I first went to school, and I never recited aloud in school, but just bowed my head and memorized; I didn't have a good academic record, I studied hard, but my grades were always mediocre; I also don't have a great appearance, I have boy's short hair all the year round, wear my cousin's knockout boys' clothes, like the most inconspicuous "ugly duckling", but my father, he is not. Listening to the small talk of the people in the village, he said: "Your uncle and your father, they have high Chinese, they are all spiritual babies in the class when they go to school, and there are few people in our village who are graduating from high school." "Xu is that I did not inherit my father's excellent genes, I have always been dull, especially after going to junior high school, mathematics, physics and chemistry are a mess, and even because of the low grades by the math teacher hit the "bench leg", so when I encountered an insurmountable geometric problem, I thought of asking my father for advice, but when he explained three times I still answered "I won't", he slapped me hard, the slap made my ears buzz, I didn't cry, I only had grievances, I have my own stubbornness, I once thought that it was my stupidity that embarrassed him, and I had to study hard to catch up with his former excellence, and since then, I am more afraid to ask him, teachers and classmates for difficult problems, I will mark all the problems, and after the teacher explains, I will write carefully over and over again until I am familiar with them. Maybe he was happy from the bottom of his heart after receiving my high school entrance examination report card, I saw the smile hidden in the corner of his eyes, and when he was able to beat gongs and drums with several other parents to send pennants to the school, I guessed that I had finally become my father's pride.
Du Kanggou has been turned over for three years
When my uncle took me into the gate of Baishui Middle School, it was my third time in Baishui County. The first time was when my uncle took me and my cousin into the city, we ate steamed buns at the entrance of Dongfeng Primary School, and ate soy milk fritters, for me, it was simply a taste of people's deliciousness, and the second time was when the English teacher took us to participate in the listening competition in the county, and it was also in Dongfeng Primary School, and we went home immediately after the exam, and never stayed. In the three years of studying in Baishui Middle School, I have met very good teachers, and I have also received a lot of care and help from my classmates, but the most profound memory is still the three years of walking through Du Kanggou with my father. From my home to Baishui Middle School about 15 kilometers away, Friday school holiday, if my father happened to be on the day shift that day, he would pick me up at school after work, we walked all the way through many villages, from the county to Shishi Village, Tongji Village, Hanji Village, the road is flat, I sit comfortably on the back seat of my father's bicycle, blowing the wind, want to complete the holiday homework, after the Du Kang Distillery, there is a downhill road, and then a very steep uphill road, that is, Du Kanggou, as far as I can remember, the family said "turn over Du Kanggou", Probably because the traffic was backward at that time, it was difficult to walk or ride a bicycle across that section, so it was said to "climb the ditch". Now, I can often think of the time when I helped my father push the cart uphill, from spring to summer, from autumn to winter, how good the days I could be with, even if there was not much communication along the way, even if he rarely asked about my studies, my life, my teachers and classmates.
Truth belated
The year my father died, I was in my third year of high school. Because of the heavy schoolwork, the family was afraid of affecting my studies, so they concealed my father's illness, during my father's hospitalization, I only saw him once, that day he looked in good spirits, he just said to me: "You hurry up and go back to school with your classmates, I'm fine, I will be discharged from the hospital in a few days, and I will go back to the house .......""However, I was waiting for the news of his death, my uncle took me home, the enthusiastic villagers have arranged everything, my father he became a person on the **, in a trance, I seemed to see him standing in the yard to build a pigsty, he also said: When the pigsty is built, the house will raise pigs. But the wall had not yet been built, my father was gone, he was not a man of his word, he said he would be fine, he said he would go home when he was well, but he didn't. At the moment when my father was buried, I finally understood: I used to have a lot of complaints and grievances about my father, I will never see him again, I have exhausted all means, and my father will never come back......
The fourth father told me: Your father is waiting for you to go to college, and he will wait for his little piglet to grow up and sell it for you to go to school, and he thinks his woman must be good.
My aunt told me that your father wanted to eat the cake from the street before he died, and he went to his grandparents and talked a lot, and he couldn't let go of his father and mother.
My cousin told me that your father was still working in the construction team when he was sick, and you two had to go to school, and it cost money, and someone in the village saw him walking and walking into the canal on the side of the road......
For many years to come, I never broke free from the guilt: Why should going to school be a burden on my family? Why can't you be a person who can read words and emotions and understand and care more about him? Why can't you grow up early and take care of him?
The death of a loved one is not a rainstorm, but a lifetime of dampness, and the pain is not only the moment of losing him, but every moment of missing him. I often think of him: when I got married, I cried tears because without his involvement; I have a child of my own, and I still think of him, but how can my child really feel his mother's thoughts; The joy of having a regular job for me must have been receptive to him. But my gain, my joy, my dedication and return, when I get better and better, I want to share a lot of sweetness with him, so that he will not be in pain.
In my bookcase in my mother's house, I treasure his **, every time I go home, I quietly turn it out to see, ** in which he is always forty years old, always his young appearance, I often count the time: if he is still here, now he is also in his 50s, he will also grow old in our company, and become my brother's old father. The blue shirt in ** is slowly fading, but in my brother's heart, he will always be there.
About the Author
Guo Min, a lover of literature, a member of the middle school, and a native of Baishui, Shaanxi.
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Huashan Literature
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