It has been 9 years since I came to Shandong, and every time I think about my relatives and brothers for a holiday gathering, I will have one less person when I eat. I miss my brothers and sisters, relatives and friends, my parents, and every brick and tile, every grass and tree in my family. The local culture there is always so friendly.
Thinking that I was emotionally hurt at the beginning, "everyone betrayed my relatives and left", I was discouraged, as if I had lost my soul. I tried to escape my parents' grasp. I was alone in this completely unfamiliar place, thousands of miles away. I was tortured and wronged.
The husband is not the most important support for the wife, and the future of the children is not something I can interfere with. I want to give my children a good future, and I want to borrow from my husband. But the reality tells me that there is an obstacle from my in-laws. I wanted to clear the obstacles, but my husband, in-laws, and stepsons merged to fight against me. Besides, the people here are not familiar with the place, and the object of our discussion is bullied but unable to do anything.
My husband is unreliable, my children are not a talisman, my parents have long abandoned me, my younger siblings can't help, my in-laws don't want to count on it, and the people around me will only praise the high and the low.
Trapped by love, you can only be hurt by love.
In order to protect my first love, I gave up my future, and later he gave up on me. I've loved, hated, and resented. Yes, I was so ridiculous at the beginning, how many stupid things I did, how many embarrassments I made, how many times I was secretly scolded by others, I deserved to be disgusted and abandoned.
I blocked the future of others, so he didn't care how much I gave and how much I loved him, and he didn't listen to my explanation, so he decisively deleted and blocked me. I always tell myself that he might be so cruel because he is also for my good.
People are warm and cold, why should I be sad about this. There are so many beautiful things in the world, I haven't experienced them yet!
Seeing my sister-in-law go back to her parents' house, I couldn't visit relatives and friends during the New Year's holidays. I'm sad, but who knows. My husband only knows how to drink, and he knows that I don't like him to drink, so he wants to do it. The eldest sister-in-law still thinks it's okay.
My son's disability and the poverty of my family have made me miserable. People still can't lift my scars.
I don't know what the New Year is all about. It's relatives and friends who tout each other, and occasionally sting.
After the New Year, it is a year older, which does not mean anything.