1. When I was a child, when I saw my parents quarreling, I often wondered whether I should get married when I grew up? It wasn't until I was old enough that I realized: I really thought too much.
2. I read that there are many disadvantages of staying up late on the Internet, and the biggest change for me is that I have changed from staying up late happily to staying up late with fear.
3. Why when eating hot pot, there are little fat cows and little fat sheep, but there are no little fat pigs, because the little fat pigs are all around the table to eat the little fat cow and the little fat sheep.
4. I saw a person who measured his appearance, and he was curious to measure it. I actually scored 97 points. It's so high, you have to go to the circle of friends to show it. I'm so happy! Later, I thought about it, could it be a lie? I can't test it again, so I put a ** of Song Joong Ki. 920 points ......
5. Everyone else looks good when they laugh, but you are different, you look funny.
6. I always thought that I could buy everything with money, but after going through more, I gradually found that my money was not enough!
7. I used to be told that I had small eyes, but I didn't believe it, but finally one day, I was lying on the sofa watching TV, and suddenly my mother came back and turned off the TV, and then silently helped me cover the quilt.
8. Always want to buy things when you are angry, you have to spend money when you buy things, you have to spend less money when you spend money, and you get angry when you have less money.
9. Did you know? I think about you every day, I think about you every night, I think about eating, I think about sleeping, I think about work, and I want to say to you: pay back the money quickly!
10. When I am at home during the holidays, I can't hear how the mobile phone vibrates, but when I go to school, the mobile phone feels like ** when it vibrates.
11. There was a beautiful woman who wanted to be my girlfriend, but I refused. Because I think she has low vision and I don't like girls with too bad taste!
12. I saw a sign in the breakfast shop that said "millet 3 meters 3", I was puzzled and asked the boss, and the boss said: "This is millet porridge!" ”
13. In order to be the rich second generation, I lie in bed every day and encourage my dad not to lie down every day, and to develop his career while he is young.
14. When I just ordered takeout, I suddenly remembered that I was almost 140 pounds, and I slapped myself violently, how could I be distracted when ordering takeout!
15. Dad said that handsome men lie, and Mom said that men who are not handsome will lie, and your dad is a good example.
16. I am a good-tempered person, what will happen if someone steps on my bottom line one day? Then I'll lower the bottom line even more.
17. There are two things that others can't snatch, one is the food you eat in your stomach, and the other is the dream you hide in your heart. So I want to be a foodie with a dream.
18, Xiao Ming: "Dad, am I stupid?" "Silly boy, how can you say that about yourself! ”
19. The TV said that there would be radiation under the pillow on the mobile phone, so I was so scared that I quickly turned off the TV and threw the pillow away by the way.
20. According to the survey, most of the 56 ethnic groups in my country have the habit of singing and dancing after drinking, only my Han nationality starts to brag as soon as I drink too much!
21. I really envy those friends who go out to travel during the May Day holiday, people like us who can travel at any time can't experience that kind of happiness at all!
22, eat buffet, the girl at the back table is too able to eat, I heard her boyfriend say: "Let me eat, let me get it." ”
23. It's time to parting again, and it's time to break up again, I hope you can go down well alone, and I'll take a taxi!
24. I took a shower for ten minutes and forgot to take **, but it doesn't matter ......I also forgot to put the water.
25. What is the pain that can be touched? It's just that I feel hungry, and there is still a lump of meat when I touch it.
26. When you learn to consider problems from someone else's point of view, you will find out what his position is.
27. It was late at night, and the child cried while sleeping. His father decided to sing a lullaby to coax him. As a result, as soon as he sang a few words, there was a ** voice next door: Let the child cry!
28. When I took the highway by car and arrived at the service area, the driver yelled: "If you want to go to the bathroom, prepare in advance!" A buddy next to him asked weakly: "How can we prepare in advance?" Do you take off your pants now?
29. My wife caught a cold and said that she was not feeling well. I said I'd come to make you comfortable, and I was kicked out of ...... bedIn these years, giving people a massage depends on their mood.
30. In the past, the mail was very slow, and there was only enough to love one person in a lifetime, but now the network technology is developed, and 50 people can be green a day.
31. I put a stuffy fart in the elevator, and I shouted "something is mush", so an elevator man sucked my fart clean.
32, the old man accosted the old lady, your hairstyle is so good-looking, you cut it there. The old lady instantly ripped off her hair: Yours is the one who picked it up, and I bought it for a lot of money.