A good relationship between husband and wife does not lie in not quarrelling, but in how to reconcile
A 32-year study conducted at the University of Arizona in the United States looked at the ways of 192 couples who got along with each other. Studies have found that quarrels between couples are not all bad.
In fact, proper quarrels can prolong the life of couples, and at the same time, they can also enhance the relationship between couples. In quarrels, husband and wife know how to communicate with each other, can effectively resolve conflicts, open knots, and find the best mode of getting along with each other.
Therefore, couples who quarrel will have happier marriages.
Although the quarrel is fierce, it can resolve the conflict"In marriage, conflicts and disagreements inevitably arise. There is a question on Zhihu: "What should I do if there is a conflict between husband and wife?" ”
One of the high praisers replied, "Quarrel rationally." "Arguing through communication can help us understand each other's positions, resolve misunderstandings, and achieve a harmonious relationship.
Below, let's take a look at the story of him and his wife shared by netizen @清风. Qingfeng's wife started learning a driver's license after retiring, but Qingfeng has never supported it. Once, they were on their way home from shopping when their car was scratched.
Qingfeng was very angry and accused his wife: "Don't you know how old you are? Don't you know it's dangerous to drive like this? However, his wife decided to quarrel with him and explain her insistence.
She told Qingfeng that the reason why she wanted to learn to drive was to wait for him to retire and travel by car together. This story teaches us that although the quarrel can be intense, as long as we deal with it in a communicative way, we can resolve the conflict and make the marriage more harmonious.
It turns out that in relationships, quarrels are not terrible. Sometimes, by arguing, we can get to know each other more thoroughly. Because the purpose of a quarrel is not to apologize to one party, but to discourage both parties.
Point the finger of the other person at yourself, complain less, listen more, and respond positively to the problem. If there is a misunderstanding, it is not hidden, it is necessary to quarrel and not avoid, what can be quarreled is not true feelings, and what cannot be quarreled is a good marriage.
Small misunderstandings between partners that are not effectively resolved, over time, will form irreconcilable big contradictions. Therefore, at a critical moment, being able to quarrel in a state of communication is a good opportunity to resolve misunderstandings and resolve conflicts.
Ignore her, she has nothing to do at home, she is just a housewife who revolves around me. "The wife was heartbroken by her husband's indifference and bad words, and left a pimple in her heart.
The wife remained silent, just silently gambling in her heart. When she said the knots in her heart through an argument, the husband was shocked, he did not expect that one of his jokes would make his wife suffer for so many years.
In a relationship, sometimes we need to be brave enough to face the inner confusion because sometimes, heart knots only make us miserable. Don't be afraid to quarrel because it is a watershed moment in the relationship and can give us the opportunity to go deep into each other's hearts, understand each other's needs, and strengthen the emotional connection between us.
So, don't deliberately avoid or refuse to argue, but be brave enough to speak your mind so that the other person can understand you better, so as to alleviate the conflict. At the same time, you must also know to cherish those who truly love you, who will give you strength and love when you need it most.
Remember, respecting each other doesn't mean being silent, and sometimes it's time to be straight out and say what is in your heart to make the relationship deeper. Therefore, being brave to face, to communicate, to understand, to love, is what we should do.
Managing a long-term relationship is not about whether you don't fight, but whether you know how to fight effectively. When you have an argument with your partner, don't get angry with your family and don't uncover old scars, which will only hurt those closest to you.
The correct approach is to resolve contradictions on the spot, to deal with them on a case-by-case basis, not to extend them, and not to proliferate, which is the most basic quality of gender relations. Learn to master the skills of effective quarrels and learn to use humor to resolve conflicts, so that your relationship will become more and more harmonious and happy.
Remember, arguing is not about winning, it's about finding a solution to the problem and making each other's feelings deeper.
Li Shanglong once said: "The pain of the past should become the mark of our growth, not the shackles of our lives." We need to learn to take care of it, not to touch it, or even forget about it, so that the wound heals naturally.
This is true love and respect for your partner. Our marriage needs to be cared for with our hearts, not the word "divorce" on our lips all the time. Far from making the partner compromise, this approach can bring the marriage to the brink of breakdown.
As the writer Huang Tong said: "When emotions come in a quarrel, it is especially easy to say nothing, and on the surface it seems to 'win', but in fact they 'lose' each other's emotions." ”
We should actively solve the problem, instead of talking about divorce, so that the relationship between husband and wife will change from face-to-face to back-to-back, and the relationship will change from warm to cold. Let's find the best way to get along in communication together and make our marriage stronger.
Love is a baptism, we find each other's regrets and shortcomings in firewood, rice, oil and salt, and leave negative emotions. Couples who don't quarrel will only let quarrels weaken feelings and break families; And couples who can quarrel know how to communicate, so that the relationship is closer and the family is more stable.
Marriage is not always smooth, and a quiet life can easily make people feel bored and bored. Sometimes, being brave and honest can resolve misunderstandings, untie knots, and deepen the relationship between the two.
It doesn't matter who bows your head first, the key is to keep your heart closer. May our marriage never leave in the midst of quarrels and stay together until old age.
Innovation is our most precious treasure, the symbol of our soul, and the source of our motivation. It is the wings that make us move forward and the secret of our success. ”