Student: Mr. Yang, I don't have a good relationship with my roommates. We are a five-person dormitory, and one of the other four classmates has more time to do their own things, and the other three have a good relationship, usually eating and going to class together. I usually talk a lot, and I will make trouble with each other and joke. This semester, I basically did my own thing, and I didn't meet the other four people in class and dinner. Then most of the time I either spent my confidence in the classroom, reading in the library, and staying at my uncle's house on the weekends (who worked near my university). This is the basic situation of our dormitory.
Then the main problem was that I didn't have regular contact with them, and over time I sensed that they might be unhappy with me, and then excluded me from them. Therefore, I have been a little anxious lately, just like the anxiety when I was looking for you in my first year of high school, although I can control it with the methods you taught, but I always need to control my anxiety, which is really a bit too much for me. At the same time, the quality of sleep is also affected, and it is a little difficult to fall asleep at noon and night.
Mr. Yang, the above question is that I only realized it in the last week, and this semester I have been like this since the beginning of the semester, and I don't talk to them very much, and I don't feel uncomfortable, which is what happened in the last week or so.
About two weeks ago, I had a verbal conflict with the three people who played games together in the dormitory, they played games at noon and played louder sounds, I didn't fall asleep at noon, and when I woke up, they just fell asleep, I deliberately turned on the ball game to turn up the sound of the game, and then one of them asked me to lower the sound, he said they wanted to sleep, and I yelled until I didn't sleep again? Then I didn't turn down my voice, and the person who was arguing with me cursed a few words with dirty words, and went out without sleeping. The other two didn't speak. After that, they converged a lot, but from this day on, I found that my relationship with them was not harmonious, and I became anxious. Then at noon and when I go to bed at night, I always feel my heartbeat, and I feel that my heart is beating harder, and then my brain is always very excited, just like the situation when I couldn't sleep at noon in the third year of high school, I feel that I am under more pressure in the dormitory environment, and my brain is always in a state of alertness, not letting the whole body rest.
There is another roommate, I quarreled with him last semester, he is my lower bunk, the reason for the quarrel is that there was originally a place under the bed where half of the people put things, he accounted for nearly three-quarters, let him clean up, although he said yes, but I said it three times, the first time he said, he took the things away, but after a few days he put them back, I told him for the second time, he took it again, but he didn't take it all, there was something near the bed that was not taken, I quarreled with him for the third time. So I didn't deal too well with the people in the dorm.
And Mr. Yang, I found that my tolerance for noise was relatively low, and I was even a little scared. I mean that the door of our dormitory is louder when it opens and closes, and everyone in our dormitory has a light curtain on their own bed, every night when I go to bed, there is a classmate from Xinjiang among the three people who played the game just now, he slept late, and the sound of him opening and closing the door and pulling the curtains was quite loud, and then he played with his mobile phone after the night and laughed a few times from time to time. And what bothered me the most was my snoring in the lower bunk. As soon as these sounds sounded, I felt that my heart beat faster, and then the blood flow in my brain increased, and my body was still a little shaking, as if it was very similar to the feeling that Teacher A gave me when I was in my third year of high school.
I'm actively coping with it myself. In terms of the relationship with his roommates, although he didn't speak, he walked over and gave way to each other, and he felt a little relieved. Then when I went to sleep, I just interrupted when I was thinking, and as soon as I felt my heartbeat, I interrupted myself not to think about it, and it would be a little better. But the roommate still can't find a way to snore, that is, don't think about it. In addition, as soon as I hear a loud sound, my heart beats faster, and I take a deep breath to adjust, which also has a certain effect. But I don't know all this phenomenon, if the relationship with the roommate is not good, I think the relationship with the roommate can only be face-up, I don't know if the face can work normally in this environment.
Mr. Yang, I am really different from other roommates, so I don't conspire with each other. I don't know if I made the right decision, and I wanted to ask you for advice, but I've been feeling very unwell mentally and physically, so I'm looking for advice.
Yang Yonglong: Different ways do not conspire with each other, and there is no companionship without thinking. So it's okay to get by in the face of unscrupulous roommates, and there's no need to blame yourself. The big husband can bend and stretch, bend means that some small things are difficult to be confused, stretch means that there is a flying and domineering behavior to resist the beating, once the beating is over, no longer regurgitate thinking, immediately put their thoughts and attention into the action of doing things at the moment, nothing to do, let their present time in the action of doing things busy green, so that continue to insist on action, all the disturbed mood will disappear unconsciously. Therefore, at all times, in line with the mentality of "go your own way and let others fool around", build your own studies well, and treat your academic affairs as the only thing in your life and do your best is the key.
Sometimes I have to admit that the relationship between people is very fragile, and if something doesn't happen, if you don't quarrel once, you really can't see it clearly. Therefore, quarreling is also an indispensable practical experience for us to develop and improve our accession to the WTO. No one wants to see something like this happen, but it's just the way it is.
AnxietyYou can use the method of emotional transformation to transform your emotions, that is, when you feel very anxious, please immediately clench your fists, grit your teeth, and loudly hint to yourself in your heart: I am full of infinite strength, I am very confident! Keep repeating the hints many times, and try to experience the feeling of power. Generally speaking, it only takes 1 to 3 minutes to do it, and you will feel that your previous anxiety has been reduced, and a very uplifting feeling will appear in your heart, which will mark the transformation of energy. And what you have to do at this moment is not to care about your emotions, but to do what you need to do right now. If you keep doing it, your anxiety will disappear.
Student: Thank you, Mr. Yang, for your advice [pleasant] [pleasant] [pleasant], then I should be firm in the choice I made, and then continue to follow my own path.