Hello everyone:
Welcome to the 100% funny collection to make you (high) laugh all day!
At the reunion of old classmates, they must have talked about their status at home after marriage, and a buddy was foaming, and finally everyone believed in his absolute authority at home. After a while, this person's mobile phone rang, and he answered**: Wife, our class reunion, well, there are many people, it's lively! ＂
I booed beside me, and everyone understood, and suddenly fell silent, which can be described as silent. The goods were in a hurry: "You guys are talking!" Feed! Wife! I'm really partying...”
Last night, the proprietress called and asked me to go to KTV to entertain customers.
When I arrived, I saw her talking with an eldest sister, with a little white face sitting next to her, and a young girl sitting in a corner.
I thought to myself that the proprietress was so polite, so I sat down next to the girl, put my arm on her shoulder, and said, "Come, have a drink." ”
The girl turned to the proprietress and said, ".Auntie, why am I so ugly?
Take the bus home on vacation, sit next to me is a beautiful woman like milk tea sister, racking her brains along the way to think about how to talk, but I don't know how to speak, seeing that I am about to arrive at the station, I am anxious to sit still, then my sister paper glanced at me and said: "It's about to arrive at the station, don't worry, there is a toilet ...... the station."“
It embarrassed me at the time, and I really wanted to find a crack in the ground to get into
Life was originally peaceful, but when there were more people running, there would be wind, and there were always some idlers chattering and drooling, and there was rain, so you and I spent our lives in the wind and rain.
If you can't get rich overnight, two nights is fine, and a month is acceptable.
I understood too many truths, but I lost the happiness that I should have at this age
Life is to coax yourself, and if you understand yourself, you will understand everything
My buddy Xiao Wu lives with my grandmother, who is old and has a bad memory, and often doesn't recognize me.
On this day, Xiao Wu called ** and asked me to move for him. I rushed over immediately.
As soon as I entered Xiao Wu's house, I picked up the TV and was about to leave, when suddenly my grandmother came in from outside the door and shouted, "Who are you!" Why move my TV? As he spoke, he shouted loudly: "Come on, someone, someone is robbing." “
I put down the TV and said to my grandmother: "Grandma, I am Gangzi, and I am a classmate of Xiao Wu." “
Grandma said angrily: "Yes, you're afraid that you will go to the grave to burn the newspaper - coax the ghost" After speaking, she shouted loudly: "Come on, someone is robbing." “
At this time, Xiao Wu rushed over and said, "Grandma, at this time, my classmate, I asked him to come over to help move."
At this time, my grandmother took my hand and said, "Oh, it turned out to be Xiao Zhang!" ”
Xiao Wu hurriedly said: "Grandma, it's Gangzi, not Zhang Biao." ”
My mom, I was almost caught as a thief! Fortunately, it's his grandmother, if it were his grandfather, I'm afraid I'd be beaten up! 」
I was drunk last night, and I woke up this morning to find that there was a little mud on my lips and a few grasses in my hair, so I hit the buddy who drank together yesterday.
The buddy smiled and said: "You drank too much last night, you didn't say that you were a pleasant goat, lying on the ground to eat grass, and you couldn't pull it!" ”
Talent, really talent! 」
When a classmate and I were about to go to a female classmate, he saw that I was carrying something, and he didn't feel good about it, so he asked me to go to the fruit market with him to buy apples.
He asked the boss, "Boss, is your apple sweet?" ”
The boss said confidently: "Little brother, don't worry, it's not sweet and you don't want money." ”
He said solemnly, "yes,......The boss is hereNot sweet
At that time, the boss was really calm and picked up a few rotten apples next to him and put them up and said, "Child, if the family is in difficulty, if you want to eat fruit, come to Uncle!" ”
It made me laugh at the time.
But what I never expected was that as soon as I entered the door, these two classmates came to say: "Auntie, I was in a bit of a hurry to go out today, I didn't bring anything, I'll make it up for you another day, this is what Xiao Zhang bought for you, I brought it up by the way, do you think it's put **?"
The most important thing is that at that time, my aunt washed the apple to entertain us, and I was embarrassed at the time, but this product was still laughing next to me and saying, "Classmate Zhang,."You must have smashed this apple on Newton's head, that must be very expensive. ”
I wanted to strangle him!
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