Hello everyone, I'm "little him", after reading this article, you can click on it if you think it's good".Attention”。He has material and focuses on funny.
I went to the hospital for a physical examination today to check my stool, and I saw that Xiao ** was very beautiful, so I wanted to tease her.
I ran to the door of the hospital and bought a roasted red department, kneaded it into mud and put it in the box, **I said too much, go and deal with it, I said, don't bother, just eat it with your hands after speaking, Xiao ** didn't even have time to take off the mask, and spit out three mouthfuls on the spot.
At this time, the person next to me patted me on the shoulder: "Brother, you took the wrong one, this box is yours!" ”
Talent, really talent! 」
On this day, Xiaojun took her newlywed husband to a class reunion.
Jun's husband is not very old, but he is very knowledgeable, and he talked about a lot of interesting topics at the party.
At the end of the party, my husband asked, "Wife, how am I doing today?" ”
Xiaojun said: "My classmates say that you are erudite and talkative. ”
Hearing this, my husband was very proud: "I didn't embarrass you!" ”
Xiaojun looked at her husband's thinning hair and said, "Alas, my classmate said in private, after all, you are old and have a lot of experience, and you quietly asked me if you are married for the second time." ”
When my mother saw the fingerprint unlock on the back of my father's phone, she asked my father, "What is this?" ”
Dad said, "You don't have dirt, this is called fingerprint unlocking." ”
My mother asked, "Why don't I have a mobile phone, get one." ”
Dad said, "What can you do with me, you can't do it on your phone." ”
I thought that my mother must be tricking my father to buy her a new mobile phone, but my mother said, "Then you ask our girl to buy me a new mobile phone." ”
I'm just silently watching you chat, and you can all get shot!
Invited a buddy to dinner today, he estimated that he had eaten too much, and he couldn't help but burp three times in a row on the bus:"Uh, uh, uh"A small pot friend sat next to him, sitting on his mother's lap, and said in a milky voice:"The song sings to the sky. "The whole car was laughing like crazy, and I was alone in the corner to the point of internal injury!
Today I took the subway with my mother, next to the mother and son, I was playing with my mobile phone, the little boy slapped my mobile phone away, the little boy's mother said, people are still children, forget it. I hit the little boy with my backhand, and then nestled in my mother's arms, and my mother said, forget it, it's better to be a child.
The wife said to her husband, "Husband, what would you do if I crawled in front of you like a dog?" The husband thought for a moment and said, "I'll close my eyes." The wife asked, "Why?" The husband replied, "Because I don't want to see such an ugly dog in front of me." I think the old lady is ugly, kneel on the keyboard!
My grandmother was my homeroom teacher in elementary school, and no one in the class knew about it, but I often talked back to my grandmother in class, and my classmates admired me. Until one day, I my grandmother, asked me to go home and call my father, and finally kicked us both together in front of the whole class. Dad held his head and begged for mercy, crying miserably.
An old cousin owes me 500 yuan, and he hasn't paid it back, and I'm embarrassed to ask for it, but I can't help it, so I used ten yuan to buy off my eldest nephew and asked him to help me get money.
As a result, the eldest nephew came back with a bag full of delicious food, and said to me with a look of contempt: "Second uncle, you are too stingy, look at how generous people are, I told him, you don't have to pay back this money!" ”
At the class reunion, I saw that the scumbag who chased me back then drove a BMW car with his wife, and his wife was a classmate in the dormitory next door to me, and I regretted it very much. Suddenly lightning and thunder, we traveled back to 5 years ago, the scumbag chased me with flowers in his hand, and I promised him. So, five years later, when we attended a class reunion, my female classmate from the dormitory next door came alone in a BMW.
When my wife came back from shopping, she excitedly said to her husband, "I met a thief on the bus, but I didn't let him succeed!" ”
My husband hurriedly asked, "Is it?" How did you spot the thief? ”
The wife proudly said: "This thief's skills are too poor!" Rubbing around on me all the time, I just hugged the bag tightly and rubbed it with him! ”
My husband covered his face after hearing this, and wanted to cry without tears! Sobbing and saying, "Wife, that's **!" Not a thief! ”
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