Hello everyone, I'm "little him", after reading this article, you can click on it if you think it's good".Attention”。He has material and focuses on funny.
I bought a lot of snacks online, and as soon as the courier arrived, my dad unpacked the spicy fish steak, ate it with relish, and then said to me, "Well, it tastes good, it's not spicy at all!" ”
I ate a small piece and oh my god, it was super spicy, I drank the water and it was still spicy until my stomach. When I turned around, I saw that my father was so spicy that snot and tears came out, and he said to me with a look in his eyes: "Don't say spicy yet, give it to your mother to taste." “
Hey! Your dad is so bad! 」
As a result, my mother was so spicy that tears flowed, and she chased my father and beat me violently!
Eating out, I ordered a green pepper shredded pork. After eating, he felt that something was wrong, so he called the boss over: "What's the situation?" Why did the shredded green pepper meat I ordered only have three or two slices of meat. The boss explained pleasantly: "Green pepper shredded meat, green pepper is the main dish, shredded meat is a side dish, now pork is expensive, you have to eat it." "What's the logic?
The classmate's mail and express delivery has always been land transportation, and does not require air transportation, so it is very slow to arrive every time. I asked him that time: Why don't you fly it? He said righteously: I have never been on a plane, why should it take a courier?!
A: "Scorpion and crab guess boxing, guess for a day or still win or lose!" ”
B: "Why?" ”
A: "It's so frustrating, they keep putting out scissors." ”
In Sichuan, Aunt Li decided to give her family a home cooking class. She tried to make traditional mapo tofu, but accidentally reversed the amount of chili powder and peppercorn powder, resulting in a "super spicy" tofu. The family members who tried this dish burst into tears, and everyone ended up laughing and enjoying this special dinner together.
The society is ruthless, life is cold, it is not easy to find a job when I go out, I have been for a few days, suddenly thought of a trick to find a job, I hurriedly ran to a restaurant, regardless of thirty-seven twenty-one, ordered hundreds of dishes, first a full meal. An hour later, I beckoned to the waiter: "Waiter, check out." ”
Hello sir, do you use a credit card or cash? ”
I wiped my mouth: "Is it okay to brush the dishes?" ”
The daughter-in-law is four months pregnant and chatting in bed.
My daughter-in-law said I had to be nice to her because she had a hostage in her hands.
I said, "What can you do with him?" ”
The daughter-in-law said, "I don't let go of my fart, I hold it, I stink him..."Stinks him...."It's too ruthless!
A colleague brought up a new car. Get off work in the evening and get ready for a ride. When I got into the car, I had an upset stomach and let out a fart. I hurriedly said, "The smell of new cars is big!" My colleague said faintly, "Fortunately, my ears are not blind, otherwise, I would really think that the smell of new cars is too big." Another colleague who hitchhiked opened the car door at this time. "I'll go, are your leather seats made of shells? ”
At the top of Bauhinia, in the battle of the sword blade, Ximen Fuxue and Ye Gucheng drew their swords and stood up, staring at each other for a long time, but they didn't make a move. There was a commotion among the onlookers, and someone shouted: Hey, why don't you fight yet? What are you doing? Ximen Fuxue and Ye Gucheng smiled heartily, and said in their hearts: How do mortals understand, we are grinding foreign workers and waiting for work.
Today, my girlfriend called ** and asked me to come over for dinner after work, and I agreed at that time.
After work, I arrived at the agreed place, looked at the decoration style of the store, and I leaned over to my girlfriend and said, "How much does this cost?" ”
The girlfriend said: "You don't have to worry about this, anyway, Miss Ben won't let you pay!" ”
In the middle of the meal, my girlfriend kept playing with her mobile phone, as if she was chatting with someone, her face gradually turned cold, and I hurriedly asked her: "What's wrong, your face is so ugly?" ”
The girlfriend said hesitantly: "Okay, he is coming, but he was released into the pigeon." ”
I asked, "Who?" ”
My girlfriend said, "It's an online chat." ”
I was surprised and asked, "Could this meal be his appointment?" ”
The girlfriend just nodded and didn't speak.
After a while, my best friend said to me, "Xiaoli, I don't have enough money on me, can you take the account first?" ”
I immediately called the waiter, and the waiter said that a total of 888 yuan was consumed, and I looked at WeChat and it was not enough, so I called ** to borrow a little.
Before leaving, I said to my girlfriend: "There are a lot of unreliable men now, be cautious next time!" ”
Hey, my girlfriend wants to find a big boss to pay for every time, but I became the big boss this time, woo!
February** Dynamic Incentive Program
If you like it, follow me, more hilarious clips will make you happy every day! ◆
Dear laughing friends, if you make your laughter out of control, laugh, I hope you can share your laughter in the comment area! >
Thank you to every reader! Thank you to every fan! Thank you!