Author: Nguyen Nguyen Kee (Author of Fu Shu).
There was a "fairy family" on the Internet, which received 2w+ likes from netizens.
*, a little girl accidentally breaks her violin, and parts of the violin are scattered all over the ground.
She blamed herself and kept saying "I'm sorry". But instead of scolding her, her mother hugged her and comforted:
It's okay, it's okay, Dad is repairing! "What if it can't be repaired?" "If you can't repair it, you can only change it, how much money do you have for your private house?" "Two or three thousand......At this time, the caring brother said: "I sponsor 20!" Grandpa also said generously: "I sponsor 2000!."At the same time, he didn't forget to tell his younger brother to be careful.
Every member of the family is either comforting my sister or solving the problem, without a single accusation or complaint.
This made many netizens recall their experience of breaking a bowl or breaking a toy and being scolded, and they couldn't help but sigh: "It's so happy to live with emotionally stable people!" ”
Life is never uneventful, from small accidents to turning points that may change the fate of life, which can happen at any time, and no one can predict it.
ButWhat really affects our lives is never the uncertainty of the future, but our mindset of coping with the unknown
Therefore, high-quality health care starts with emotional stability.
There was a question on Zhihu: "What kind of person do you prefer to get along with?" ”
One of the highly praised answers was: "People who are emotionally stable." ”
There are many traits in a person, but "emotional stability" is especially important in daily life and social interactions.
Daniel Goleman, a doctor of psychology, once mentioned in the book "Emotional Intelligence":
When people communicate face-to-face, emotions are contagious through multiple neural channels in both brains. The nervous system, which is responsible for emotional contagion, controls all emotions, whether it's sadness, anxiety, or happiness. ”
In other words, emotions are "contagious", whether happy or sad, they will affect the people around them.
A female netizen mentioned her boyfriend in the comments:
Whether it's whether you're feeling unwell, or you've encountered something bad in the workplace, or you've had a small conflict between your girlfriends, ......
When she complains to her boyfriend, the other party can not only tolerate her little emotions, but also enlighten her and give her advice in turn.
Although the other party can't solve all the problems for her, her boyfriend's stable mood can give her more courage to face the problem.
For her, although the other party's appearance, family, and qualifications are very ordinary, they have always been the "potential stock" in her eyes, and "emotional stability" is her boyfriend's greatest wealth.
There was once a world champion who was "killed" by a small fly because he lost control of his emotions.
In 1965, in a world billiards championship match in the United States, player Louis was far ahead in scoring, and if it continued like this, the championship must be in his pocket.
But just as he struck the last blow, there was a small episode.
An uninteresting fly flew over and landed impartially on the main ball he was about to hit.
He swung the club to chase the fly away, but as soon as he turned around, the fly flew back and he chased it away again.
As he straightened his shirt and prepared to score the crucial goal, the crowd erupted in laughter, and it turned out that the fly flew back as if it had spotted the ball.
At this time, Louis was already impatient, and the whispering in the audience also made him inexplicably irritable, he waved the club, trying to drive away the hateful flies completely, but unexpectedly, he accidentally touched the cue ball.
He was convicted of a violation, but his opponent took advantage of the victory to win the championship by a margin of points.
The little fly was insignificant, but it left Louis out of the way with low-hanging glory.
Our definition of "wealth" is usually birth, money, and talent, but any wealth requires a stable mood to harness them.
The Analects says: "Those who are near are happy, and those who are far away come." ”
An emotionally stable person will be like a magnetic field, constantly attracting all kinds of resources and connections, and eventually build his own wealth pyramid.
Emotions are only one part of life, but they can affect the whole life.
Emotions are the reaction of a person's subconscious mind to external things.
When we get a promotion and a raise, we will be happy and excited; When you are sick, you will be depressed and uncomfortable, which is an unavoidable feeling for everyone.
Michel, a French psychologist, once mentioned the story of one of his patients in the book "81 Faces of Emotions".
A lady who clearly loves her husband very much, but often quarrels with each other because of suspicion.
She was always annoyed afterwards, but next time she would relapse, so she had to turn to Michelle for help.
Michelle tells her that it's normal to have "suspicions" between couples.
But the next time you encounter an "accident", don't rush to get angry, but try to feel the existence of this emotion, and a "miracle" may happen.
A few days later, when she passed by a restaurant, she saw her husband and ex talking and laughing together. She immediately felt jealous, but immediately thought of Michelle's words.
She sat down on a bench by the side of the road, feeling the suspicion and anger in her heart at the moment, like a little beast about to break out of the cage, but she still held back and didn't let it rush out.
After a while, the "little beast" was probably tired of making a fuss, and actually quieted down on its own.
Then, she endured the discomfort in her heart and stepped forward to say hello to her husband, who also explained to her.
It turned out to be a misunderstanding, she was relieved at once, and since then, she has never quarreled with her husband because of "suspicion".
Emotions are unavoidable for everyone, but they are just feelings and do not solve anything.
Instead, it can disrupt our rational thinking and decision-making, making the outcome worse.
If we allow emotions to run rampant, it will not only affect our interpersonal relationships, but also endanger our physical health.
At a beauty salon where I often go for massages, the proprietress has been troubled for a long time because of her husband's cheating.
The proprietress has to take care of the children and be busy with business, and she has to quarrel with her husband every once in a while.
In less than half a year, she was haggard, and she often felt chest tightness and shortness of breath, so she had to go to the hospital.
The doctor's diagnosis came out quickly: not only had her liver qi stagnated for a long time, but she also had a lot of nodules, and if she continued like this, her body would soon collapse.
Thinking that she is still young and has children to take care of, she can't spend it with her husband anymore.
She decisively went through the divorce procedures with her husband, no longer entangled in the bad things of the past, and focused all her energy on her children and business, and in less than a year, she returned to her former radiance.
As the old saying goes, irritability hurts the liver. But the impact of emotions on health goes far beyond that.
A research report was published in the Chinese Journal of Emergency Medicine, which pointed out that among the various external factors that cause sudden death, emotional agitation ranks first with 26%;
The "Health Times" article also mentioned that emotional instability will not only affect the function of the gastrointestinal tract, but also cause heart problems.
For women, in addition to affecting the health of ovaries and breasts, ** disease is inseparable from it, and more importantly, bad mood is also an important cancer-inducing factor.
There may be many reasons for wanting to live a healthy life, but aside from those uncontrollable factors, if you can stabilize your emotions, your health will be basically guaranteed.
As Dale Carnegie once wrote in The Weakness of Human Nature: ".If you learn to control your thoughts, you will be able to achieve happiness. Happiness does not depend on external conditions, but on mental state.
In the fifth season of "Heartwarming Offer", the experience of contestant Huang Kai has moved countless netizens.
When Huang Kai was one year old, his parents divorced, and he lived with his grandparents since he was a child.
His mother, whom he had never met, sent a message when he was 18 years old: "Don't come and disturb my life again. And his father, in front of outsiders, called him "someone else's child".
Although he has never been cared for by his parents, he is very competitive: after graduating from the bachelor's degree in medicine, he studied for five years in graduate school, and was finally admitted to Tsinghua Law School.
Cross-industry postgraduate entrance examination is very stressful for children from ordinary families, and Huang Kai's grandparents have long been unable to support his studies.
The hardships are self-evident.
In the face of such a family, anyone will complain and blame, but when Huang Kai looked back on these past events in the show, his emotions were unusually stable, as if he was talking about other people's affairs.
Huang Kai's results are not the best in the show, but he has already grasped the initiative in life and surpassed most people.
Mr. Ji Xianlin, a master of Chinese culture, said: "If a person can manage his emotions well and digest the joys and sorrows of the world, even if he goes through ups and downs, he will be able to achieve a certain degree of satisfaction." ”
Here, I would like to give you three tips for controlling your emotions:
1. Accept the existence of emotions
First of all, emotions are inevitable and we want to allow them to happen and exist.
Even if it's negative emotions, don't ignore or suppress them.
Only by perceiving and accepting their presence can we know how to deal with them better.
2. Insight into the causes of emotions
All emotions arise for a reason: it may be that the result does not meet expectations, or it may be the inability to control the moment.
For things that can be changed, actions can make the results better; And for the things that can't be changed, we must learn to treat them with a normal heart.
Everything has cause and effect, and only by understanding the root cause of emotions can we prescribe the right medicine.
3. Lower expectations and not be affected by emotions
There used to be a concept in statistics called Bayesianism.
The idea is that we underestimate the outcome of things at the beginning, and then readjust our expectations for the outcome by collecting data and information.
For new things, please lower your expectations appropriately. In this way, no matter how things evolve in the future, they will not be led away by emotions.
Anthony Robbins, a well-known American psychologist, said:
The secret of success is knowing how to control the forces of pain and pleasure without being countered by them. ”
Emotions are human instincts, but controlling emotions is the ability.
And high-quality health care starts with controlling your emotions.
May you have a high quality of life.
About the author: Ruan Ruan Ji, the author of the rich book, not obstructed, not **, this is the shielding force, the fourth new book of the rich book "Shielding Power" is on sale, your life, you need the shielding force, this article: rich book, the copyright of this article belongs to the rich book, without authorization, shall not be **, infringement must be investigated.