Edman said: If love is for self-interest, this love is not true love, but a desire.
Rising desires often reveal the other side of human greed.
However, true love in marriage is giving, action, not possession.
True love is not vigorous and vowful, but "doing".
Feelings that only move their mouths often don't last long, and a marriage that is done in practice can last and be successful.
1.Don't complain, support each other
Complaining in marriage is like two edged swords, hurting each other. After a long time, the feelings fade.
Only by not fighting, not complaining and supporting each other, can we love each other forever.
Hear a touching story:
A couple who have been together for more than two years and are preparing to get married this year is a happy event.
Unexpectedly, when the unit examined his body, it was found that the man was suffering from very serious cancer, and the doctor came with bad news that he would not live for three years.
The doctor's words slammed into the couple's hearts like a sledgehammer.
Suddenly changed, the woman did not back down and chose to break up, nor did she complain about the unfairness of fate to her.
On the contrary, she comforted the man, was willing to patiently accompany him to take care of him, enlighten him, love him without abandonment, and face reality with him.
With each other's support, the man's condition gradually improved.
Their love has become more solid, love in the details, in action, and in supporting each other.
In marriage, don't complain, accept each other's inadequacies, love will be sweet and happy.
Not complaining is a good medicine for love, it will surprise us and keep love fresh.
2.Don't be impatient and listen to each other
Dr. Luxemburg, author of Nonviolent Communication, argues that in order to listen to others, we need to put aside our own thoughts and judgments and focus on the needs of the other person.
But often this ability is absent in marriage, and they are always in a hurry to make suggestions, comfort or express their thoughts, which will make the other person feel uncomfortable and do not take into account each other's feelings.
It's the same in marriage, we often run around for life, and we're exhausted when we get home. If you don't have much patience to listen to each other's nagging, it's easy to misinterpret each other's kindness.
At this time, we should slow down and listen to each other's suggestions so that we can hear each other's needs.
Melinda, the author of The Women's Moment, is a very wise woman who married Bill Gates and gave birth to three children.
Although they each have their own jobs, they sit down and discuss problems together. Don't rush or be impatient, respect each other, listen to each other, and take each other's suggestions.
In marriage, if you are not impatient, you can listen carefully to each other's ideas, listen to each other's suggestions, and not neglect each other's needs.
Not being impatient is a kind of cultivation, a kind of wisdom, but also a kind of ability, and a kind of generosity.
3.Not picky and understanding each other
Marriage determines the happiness of a woman's life" in the book Dix said: If marriage can be happy, happiness will be for a lifetime; If the marriage is unhappy, the misfortune will also be for a lifetime.
Whether we are happy or not is manifested in mutual understanding.
Let's Love Each Other In the TV series, husband Lao Kang doesn't understand his wife Cai Chunni's hard work, so there are often conflicts in the family.
Due to her son's dust allergy, Chunni will often clean and replace the beds and windows at home. Including three meals a day, picking up and dropping off her son to and from school, she does it herself.
But these did not exchange for Lao Kang's understanding and comfort. He couldn't see her pay, but he took it for granted that she did all this, and that this is what she did to spend so much money to marry her back.
His wife, Cai Chunni, became a housewife without dignity, and was scolded by her husband Lao Kang for being a vase.
He thinks that buying Chunni brand-name bags and top fashion is a reward for her love.
In Lao Kang's eyes, marriage is a transaction, and Chunni has always been pampered, but she doesn't know how to be blessed in the midst of happiness.
Marriage is a trivial matter, and endless complaining and nitpicking are chronic poisons that will only intensify conflicts and hurt each other.
Only by not blaming, not being critical, tolerating each other, and understanding each other, will the terminal of love be longer and farther.
Love is not just a matter of words, it is reflected in the bits and pieces of life, and it needs to be proved with actions.
True love is to understand each other, give to each other, and support each other.
Love is not spoken, love is made.
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