1 I once worked overtime until late to go home, there was basically no one on the street, and when I passed a small road, I found that a few men behind me followed me quietly. One of them was still laughing and saying: This chick is really in good shape......
I was so scared that I didn't even dare to look back, I was scared, what if I turned around and scared them away?
2The weather forecast said that the sun would come out, but the rain continued to rain for a week. My husband complained: This weather is as fickle as you women! Not to be outdone, my wife replied: The weather forecast is as unreliable as you men!
3. The leaders were very satisfied with the acceptance of the construction site and praised them again and again.
As soon as the project manager was proud, his brain was hot, and he asked people to turn on the fire water and try it, but the leaders said no.
But his brain cramped, so he had to open it, and as a result, there was no water ......
Cleverness is mistaken by cleverness!
4 daughter-in-law 150 pounds, like to go to the square and aunt square dance, I have to go to see it, after the dance asked me how she danced. I said, you dance like a little swan. She was happy, and a young man next to her said: Big brother, you're talking about the Little Swan drum washing machine, right? Needless to say, this young man was beaten by my daughter-in-law and hospitalized!
5 ate at home, deliberately teased his nephew, and robbed his nephew's chicken leg to eat. My mother glared at me and said that my nephew was growing and asked me to let him eat. I nibbled on chicken legs while playing coquettishly with my mother: I am also a little sapling, and I need to replenish my energy to thrive! After eating and going to work, I just went downstairs, and poured a basin of water upstairs, I was drenched all over, and when I looked up, my nephew was standing on the balcony, holding a basin and said proudly: Little sapling, I'll water you some, you have to grow up quickly!
6 The male ticket has a big goose at home, and the male ticket says that the goose is very fierce, I don't believe it. Yesterday I saw a goose walking outside the yard, and I made a gesture to hit it to see if it would be afraid, but after taking two steps back, it flapped its wings and ran after me. And then! The male ticket saw me being chased by a goose in the yard, this person who said that he would protect me for the rest of my life!! Not only did they not save me, but they also quickly ran into the house and closed the door!! Leave me alone in the yard to be chased by geese!!
A few years later, I married my boyfriend and stewed that goose and it tasted so good!
7. The teacher asked a classmate, "Why did your homework book become like this?" The classmate said, "I fell into the water." Teacher: "How did you fall into the water?" He lowered his head and said, "I accidentally went to the toilet" Teacher: "I fell into the water in the toilet?" The classmate said, "I fell into the urinal." So the teacher raised his head to the sky with a crying voice, and then stretched out his index finger and said, "I dipped my saliva and turned page by page!" ”
8 And the mother again called her son to get up:'Jacques, good boy, it's time to get up You've heard the rooster crow several times.
Son:''What does a rooster crow have to do with me? I'm not a hen'。
9 accidentally found that the phone actually has airplane mode, this coke broke me, I turned on the airplane mode, sighed, threw it into the sky, and guess what, he actually fell, and the screen was broken! Can't fly, aren't you a pit man!
10 When I took the train today, I sat next to a girl, and when I came up, I took out two textbooks and exercises for the accounting exam and put them on my lap, and then began to swipe my mobile phone. When I got to the station, I put away the book and got off the train, and I didn't open it. Is it some kind of ritual?!
11 My son's grades slipped, and I couldn't help but get angry: "If you can't pass the math test next week, you will be punished with one less point and 5 minutes of kneeling." Before the voice fell, the son knelt down with a plop. I asked, "What's wrong with you?" The bear child said leisurely: "Anyway, sooner or later, I have to kneel, so it is easier to kneel twice." You start the timer, and when the time comes, you will refund more and make up for less! ”
12Today, the most beautiful female classmate in our class got married!
I think when I was in high school, I chased her for three years, and one day she sent me a piece of English.
if you never abandon，i will in life and death
I couldn't speak English, so I asked a translator at the same table, and he said, "If you don't leave me, I'll die with you!"
I was heartbroken and never contacted her since.
To this day, that paragraph is written in English on the huge screen at the wedding scene!
The terrible thing is that today I learned that the sentence is: If you don't leave and never give up, I will depend on life and death!
The groom was the same table mate who translated for me back then!
If you don't study seriously, your classmates have deep routines!