1 and my husband went back to their parents' house for dinner, my father was in charge of the kitchen, my mother was in charge, and the two of them exchanged heads and whispered from time to time.
I looked at it enviously from behind and said to my husband, "Shall we be like this when we are old in the future?" There are endless love words ......”
My husband glanced at me and said, "They're saying, you're married, and you don't know how to take a handle when you come back, you're getting lazier and lazier, and I don't know how I can stand you." ”
2. My friend liked a girl, and I had the courage to ask the girl out to confess, so I borrowed a car to pick her up.
When I was leaving, I wanted to cheer him up, so I patted him on the shoulder and said, "Come on!" ”
As a result, he gave me a complicated look and left.
He returned in the evening to find the oil filled up ......
Dude, I really didn't mean that!
3 The son came home tremblingly: "Dad, I only scored 60 points in the exam today." ”
Dad was very angry: "Next time I take the exam, don't call me Dad!" ”
The next day, my son came back: "I'm sorry, brother! ”
4. My dad is very fond of history, and before he travels to historical sites, he will read the history of that place and tell me about it when he plays. Once playing in the Forbidden City, my father talked with relish, and after a circle, someone suddenly asked a question behind me, only to find that there was a large number of people behind me......Ha ha!
5Before the college entrance examination, our senior high school students were losing books, and of course I couldn't miss such a lively thing. When everyone was done and left, I was left alone, staring at the paper on the spot, searching for the admission ticket.
When I was 6 years old, my dad punched me up by yelling at me: "How many points did you score in math?!" "Otherwise, the teacher will be nameless! And then it made me doubt my life!
Once, I was having fun and woke my dad up, and my dad roared, "How many points did you score in math?!" ”
I grinned, "Dad, it's summer vacation!" ”
My dad: "Are you done with your summer homework?" ”。
7 Yesterday I was on the road with my wife, and my wife pretended to push me on the road, and I: If something happens, our family will have no hope.
Wife: If something really happens, our family has hope!
The son said stupidly in the back: Well, you can pay hundreds of thousands!
8. I have a habit of running in the morning. Usually run a run.,The lap is tired.,This morning on the playground and a girl called Zhen'er....
In the end, I ran a lap and lay down, and the girl won it, who knew that this school girl ran in a circle, and I had no face to see people! The point is, when I was leaving, the girl also said: You are a little vain, senior, can you do it?
I ......No face to see people!
9 Others say that two people live a life, like two cars driving side by side on the same highway, bumps are always inevitable. I believed! But I'm sure a big man will be able to hit it.
But after getting married, I found out that my wife is a forklift, and I am a bicycle, not to mention hitting, I can tremble with fear when I hear the sound!
10On a bench in the park, a young couple snuggled up to each other and talked about love, and the girl shyly asked the boy, "If we get married and have children, do you like sons or daughters?" ”
The boy scratched the bridge of the girl's nose dotingly and said softly: "As long as it's mine, I like it!" ”
The girl sneered and gently hammered the boy's chest: "You are so bad! That's a lot of demand! ”
11. Fish farming is actually very simple, just remember "one, three, five, seven".
Feed once a day, change the water once every three days, wash the tank once every five days, and change a batch of fish every seven days.
On the 12th, the radio sounded on the train: "A passenger in car 16 is suffering from an illness and is now seeking help from medical personnel. As soon as the words fell, the eldest sister sitting opposite me stood up resolutely: "Little brother, help me look at something, I'll take a look." She came back half an hour later and I asked, "Are you a doctor or a **?" The eldest sister wiped her sweat: "I'm watching the excitement." ”
13A: What kind of man does a woman like?
B: Women like bad men, not bad men.